We all desire to stand out, but let’s face it: It’s also pretty great to feel liked and appreciated by others, isn’t it?

Whether you’re looking to expand your social circle or just want to build positive relationships at work or at the gym, psychology has some practical tips on how to make people like you more. 

So, here are eight easy ways to up your likability game:

1) Be friendly 

This comes as a no-brainer, but many of us, especially introverts, struggle with knowing how to come across as approachable.

We either get stuck in our own heads, giving off vibes that scream, “Leave me alone,” or we just avoid social situations altogether because we’re afraid we won’t know how to act.

But picture this: think of someone you’d describe as friendly. Chances are, you’re imagining someone with a gentle smile, a warm demeanor, humility, definitely not aggressive, and showing a deal of kindness and care.

That’s the vibe you want to give off if you want people to warm up to you.

And you know what? 

Being genuinely friendly isn’t as hard as it seems. 

It’s about being intentional with your good nature while making it visible to the people around you.

2) Make them feel good about themselves

Like I mentioned, we are all hungry for appreciation, so we’d definitely choose to be around those who make us feel seen.

One way to do so is to pay people heartfelt compliments.

Genuine compliments brew positive emotions in people around you. 

Notice how when you compliment your colleague on her new haircut or the concierge at your building for doing a great job decorating the residence for the holiday, they simply light up?

By making people feel good about themselves, they will associate you with that positive feeling and be more open to welcoming you into their circle.

3) Ask and listen

Do you know what else will make people associate positive feelings with you? Being curious about what they’ve to say.

People love to talk about themselves, so if you want to become their next favorite person, make sure you ask them questions.

The secret lies in being genuinely curious so that you don’t get mistaken for carrying on an interrogation or prying on their privacy.

It’s all in balance.

Ask about their day, their plans for the weekend, or what they think of the latest blockbuster in theaters, but give them the space and time to answer.

And I can’t stress this much: be an active listener.

Instead of listening just to respond, try to understand where the person is coming from. 

This will make them feel valued and heard, regardless of whether their story is serious, deep, or just a rant. Being interested in what they’ve to say will make them feel heard and understood.

4) Seek their advice

Another strategy to make people warm up to you is asking them for their input.

Personally, I’ve seen this work like magic time and time again.

When you seek out people’s advice because you need help or a fresh perspective, it shows them that you value their opinion.

For example, when I switched jobs a few months back, I ended up sharing an office with a junior colleague. But you know what? I didn’t miss a chance to ask for his advice and help with all the new procedures and office dynamics.

This not only made him feel important, even though he wasn’t higher up on the hierarchy, but it also brought us closer together. 

And you know what’s cool?

Now, he’s the one who seeks me out for advice because of the mutual trust and appreciation we built.

5) Mirroring

Mirroring is the oldest body language trick in the book to build positive connections.

Notice this in any social gathering: people who like each other, heck, even fancy each other, will try their best to imitate the other person’s nonverbal cues, like the way they stand, their facial expressions, their hand gestures, and their tone of voice.

In doing so, they’re indirectly telling them, “I understand you and can relate to you.”

This show of empathy naturally brings people closer together because our brains are hardwired to click with those who look like us and with whom we have things in common.

6) Reveal your shared values

Another subtle form of mirroring is revealing the interests, values, or traits you guys have in common.

After all, birds of the same feather flock together.

Think about it: when you bond over the same tunes, cheer for the same team, or drool over the same food, there are definitely more chances for you to become best buds.

Back in my college days, this trick was a lifesaver with roommates. I’d scope out folks who vibed with my interests and let them know. It made sharing space with a stranger a whole lot smoother. These common interests laid the foundation for a positive relationship.

7) Be selectively vulnerable

People like those whom they can trust. So, one way to win people over is to make them feel safe around you.

This happens not only by you keeping their secrets but also by opening up to them and telling them some of yours.

When you share intimate information with another person, they are more likely to feel closer to you.

So, spill a little. It could be something deep or just a funny anecdote. When you let someone in, they’re more likely to return the favor.

Trust is one of the most important traits that people seek in those close to them, so if you win them over with it and maintain it, chances are you will be their go-to person when they need advice, a shoulder to lean on, or just someone to share a laugh with.

8) Tell them you like them

Nothing warms up a person than knowing that they’re liked.

So, you’ve tried out all those psychological exercises and noticed some signs that they enjoy your company. All you have to do is seal the deal and, when you’re familiar enough with them, let them know how you feel.

Yes, you can go ahead and say it out loud to them: “I like you,” or a casual “I had a blast tonight,” or “I like hanging out with you.”

When you’re upfront about your feelings, it paves the way for people to do the same.