People who are deeply self-centered usually display these 10 behaviors (without realizing it)

Avatar by Lachlan Brown | September 10, 2024, 4:24 pm

Being deeply self-centered is not always as obvious as one might think. In fact, many people who exhibit these traits are completely unaware of their behavior.

The key distinction lies in their lack of awareness. Self-centered individuals often operate on auto-pilot, unintentionally overlooking the needs and feelings of others while focusing primarily on their own.

This is not to say they’re bad people. Far from it. They simply have habits that can be off-putting or even hurtful without realizing it.

Let’s get started. 

1) Constant talk about themselves

Self-centered individuals are often known for their tendency to dominate conversations. They see themselves as the main character in every situation, and as such, they have a habit of turning every discussion back to them.

This behavior is not always intentional, but it’s a constant pattern that permeates their interactions. What they may perceive as sharing experiences or giving insight, others may view as a relentless focus on themselves.

They might be telling you about their achievements, their problems, their thoughts or feelings without paying much attention to your’s. It’s not that they’re intentionally ignoring you, rather, they’re just more tuned into their own world.

2) Lacking empathy

From my personal experience, I’ve found that deeply self-centered people often struggle with empathy. Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, can be overshadowed by their own emotions and experiences.

I once had a friend who always seemed to be in his own world. If I was having a bad day and needed someone to talk to, he would immediately shift the conversation to a similar situation he had faced. Instead of providing comfort or understanding, it felt like he was trying to “one-up” my experience.

This lack of empathy is not always a conscious decision but rather an unconscious habit. These individuals don’t realize that they are not acknowledging other people’s feelings. It’s not that they don’t care, it’s just that their perspective is primarily centered on themselves.

3) Difficulty in sharing spotlight

Self-centered individuals often find it challenging to share the spotlight with others. This behavior typically stems from their innate desire to be the center of attention and to receive constant validation.

A study by the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that self-centered individuals have a high need for admiration and struggle with feelings of invisibility. They often feel overlooked when others are praised or recognized, leading them to attempt to redirect attention back onto themselves.

This behavior can sometimes come across as jealousy or competitiveness, but at its core, it’s a manifestation of their difficulty in sharing recognition or praise with others.

4) Insensitive to the needs of others

Self-centered people are often preoccupied with their own needs and wants, which can lead to insensitivity towards the needs of others. This doesn’t mean they are inherently mean or uncaring, rather, their attention is simply focused inward.

For example, they might make plans that suit their convenience without considering if it works for others too. Or they may not notice when someone close to them is going through a tough time because they’re too caught up in their own world.

This insensitivity is usually unintentional and can often be corrected once they become aware of it. 

5) Difficulty in accepting criticism

People who are deeply self-centered often have a hard time accepting criticism, even when it’s constructive. They see themselves in a positive light and any negative feedback can be perceived as a direct attack on their self-image.

They may become defensive, dismissive, or even lash out when faced with criticism. This reaction is not because they’re intentionally trying to be difficult, but rather, it’s a protective mechanism to uphold their self-perception.

Accepting and learning from criticism is an essential part of becoming more self-aware and improving interpersonal relationships.

6) Struggling with genuine connections

Deeply self-centered individuals often find it hard to form authentic connections with others. Their constant focus on their own needs, feelings, and experiences can create a barrier that prevents them from truly understanding and connecting with the people around them.

It’s heartbreaking, really. They might have a lot of acquaintances but struggle to form deep, meaningful friendships. They might feel isolated or lonely, without understanding why.

This behavior isn’t intentional, it’s simply a byproduct of their inward focus. Recognizing this pattern can be a catalyst for change, opening the door to more fulfilling and genuine relationships.

7) Inability to admit mistakes

One of the more challenging aspects of dealing with self-centered individuals is their inability to admit mistakes. It’s an uncomfortable truth I’ve had to face myself, as someone who used to struggle with this behavior.

When I was wrong, I would find it hard to admit it. I’d try to justify my actions or shift the blame onto others. It took a lot of introspection and honest feedback from friends to realize that this was a self-centered behavior.

Self-centered people view mistakes as a threat to their self-image. However, admitting when you’re wrong is a crucial step towards personal growth and building trust in relationships. 

8) Overly generous at times

Oddly enough, self-centered individuals can sometimes be excessively generous. This might seem contradictory, but the generosity often serves their own interests more than those of the recipients.

For example, they might shower friends with extravagant gifts or insist on paying for meals. While these gestures may seem kind, they can also be a way for self-centered individuals to maintain control or to ensure they remain the focus of attention.

Understanding this behavior can help in distinguishing between genuine acts of kindness and those driven by self-interest. It’s an important step towards self-awareness for those who exhibit self-centered behaviors.

9) Lack of active listening

Active listening is a crucial component of effective communication, but it can be a struggle for those who are deeply self-centered. They may appear to be listening while you’re talking, but often they’re just waiting for their turn to speak.

They might interrupt frequently or steer the conversation back to themselves, indicating that they’re not truly engaged in what you’re saying. This lack of active listening can make others feel unheard and unimportant.

After all, everyone wants to feel heard and understood.

10) Unbalanced relationships

The most notable characteristic of deeply self-centered individuals is the unbalanced nature of their relationships. They often take more than they give, focusing on their needs and desires while neglecting those of others.

This imbalance can lead to one-sided relationships where the other person feels used or unappreciated. It’s not a dynamic that fosters healthy, fulfilling connections.

Understanding this fundamental aspect of self-centered behavior is vital. It serves as a call to action for self-centered individuals to strive for more balanced and reciprocal relationships.

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