It’s not just what you say, but how you say it.

Body language can speak volumes about your personality and attitude.

Ever wondered why some people seem naturally warm and inviting while others seem distant and cold?

It often comes down to body language.

Unapproachable body language isn’t always obvious.

Sometimes, it’s the subtle cues that pack the strongest punch.

In this article, I’ll reveal 10 little-known body language signs that may be making you seem cold and unapproachable, even when you’re trying to be friendly.

Let’s decode these non-verbal cues together. Shall we?

1) Crossed arms and legs

Ever noticed how you tend to cross your arms or legs when you’re a bit uncomfortable or defensive?

Body language experts suggest that this subtle gesture can make you seem closed off or unapproachable.

It signals that you’re not open to what’s being said or happening around you.

Crossed arms or legs can create a physical barrier that says “I’m not interested in engaging with you.”

Even if you’re just cold or find it comfortable, others might interpret it as standoffishness.

2) Lack of eye contact

I can personally attest to how impactful this one is.

I used to be a chronic eye-avoider. I just wasn’t comfortable with maintaining eye contact during conversations.

But over time, I began to notice how this was affecting my interactions.

People seemed to think I was disinterested or aloof, even when I was genuinely engaged in the conversation.

Eye contact is a powerful form of non-verbal communication.

It shows that you’re actively listening and interested in what the other person has to say.

By avoiding it, you might be unknowingly sending signals of disinterest and coldness.

3) Pointing your body away from the person you’re talking to

According to speaker, host, and author Ali Craig, when someone is not interested in engaging with you, they often exhibit physical distancing behaviors.

This could involve stepping back, turning their body away, or even subtly angling their torso away from you.

These actions can signify a desire to create space and minimize interaction.

However, it’s essential to consider individual differences and cultural norms, as not everyone may express disinterest in the same way. 

4) Frowning or furrowing your brow

We all know the saying, “It takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile.”

Whether that’s scientifically accurate or not, the sentiment holds true in terms of how we’re perceived by others.

Frowning or furrowing your brow can make you seem unapproachable or even hostile.

It gives off an air of being unhappy, stressed, or deep in thought – none of which invite people to strike up a conversation.

On the other hand, a relaxed face or a gentle smile can make you seem warm and open to interaction.

5) Constantly checking your phone

In today’s digital age, this is a common one. We’re all guilty of it to some extent.

But constantly checking your phone while in the company of others sends a clear message: “I have more important things to attend to.”

Think about it.

If you’re deep in conversation with someone and they keep glancing at their phone, it feels like they’re not fully present or interested in what you’re saying.

If you want to seem approachable and engaged, put the phone away.

Give your full attention to the people you’re with.

It’s a small act that can make a significant difference in how approachable you are perceived to be.

6) Lack of touch

Now, I’m not suggesting you go around hugging everyone you meet.

But appropriate, gentle touch can be a powerful way to communicate warmth and approachability.

A pat on the back, a quick touch on the arm, or even a firm handshake can break barriers and make someone feel more connected to you.

I’ve seen how transformative this can be in my own relationships.

Just a small, reassuring touch can make someone feel seen and valued.

It communicates that you’re present and engaged in the interaction.

Of course, it’s crucial to always respect personal boundaries and ensure that any touch is appropriate for the relationship and situation.

But when done right, it can significantly enhance your approachability.

7) Hiding your hands

Once upon a time, whenever nerves kicked in, I had a habit of hiding my hands.

Pocket stuff, sitting on them, you name it.

Turns out, this innocent move wasn’t doing me any favors.

Hiding your hands can send vibes of secrecy or discomfort. 

In fact, having your hands in your pockets is often seen as impolite across many cultures.

It gives off an air of deliberate nonchalance and disrespect.

In contrast, using your hands while chatting can boost your charm.

It signals openness and confidence, no secrets here.

8) Standing too close

While it might seem like getting up close and personal would make you more approachable, it can actually have the opposite effect.

Invading someone’s personal space can really put them on edge.

It’s like you’re barging into their bubble without an invite.

Next time you’re chatting up someone, keep your distance in mind.

Stick to about an arm’s length away – close enough to connect, but with room to breathe.

9) Avoiding open body language

Having open body language is a big part of coming off as friendly and approachable.

Think: keeping your arms uncrossed, facing the person you’re chatting with, and nodding along to show you’re tuned in.

On the flip side, closed-off body language – like crossing your arms or turning away – gives off major “not interested” vibes.

Thus, paying attention to your body language and aiming for those open postures can actually boost how approachable you seem.

It’s like shouting out, “Hey, I’m all ears and totally here for this conversation!”

10) Not smiling

The disarming power of a smile cannot be overstated. It’s the universal sign of friendliness and warmth.

But here’s the deal: if you’re not flashing those pearly whites, you might come off a bit chilly.

People might think you’re not up for a chat or worse, that you’re giving off bad vibes.

Let this be your constant reminder: Don’t forget to smile.

It’s the easiest and most effective way to appear warm and approachable.

Body language: Your silent superpower for social success

Those body language cues we’ve talked about, like crossed arms or avoiding eye contact?

They’re deeply rooted in our evolution. Think survival skills passed down from our ancestors.

Today, they still play a big role in how we connect with others, often without us even realizing it.

They can shape how approachable we seem, influencing our social lives big time.

But here’s the kicker: we can change these subtle behaviors once we’re aware of them.

Whether it’s flashing a smile, locking eyes, or just being mindful of our body language, tiny tweaks can make a world of difference.

So next time you’re out and about, keep body language in mind.

Being aware could kickstart a whole new vibe for you.