Body language speaks volumes, often louder than words. The way we carry ourselves can instantly convey warmth and openness—or, on the flip side, coldness and distance.

And here’s the thing: most people aren’t even aware of the signals they’re sending.

Certain body language cues can make someone seem unapproachable. According to psychology, these signs can influence how others perceive us and even affect the connections we’re able to build.

If you’ve ever wondered what might make someone come across as distant, here are seven subtle body language signs that do exactly that.

1) Limited eye contact

Eye contact is a powerful form of human interaction. It can convey interest, warmth, and openness.

So when someone deliberately avoids it, it can send a strong signal of coldness and distance.

If you’ve ever interacted with someone who seems unapproachable, you may have noticed their minimal eye contact. They may look past you, focus on something else, or even seem to be lost in their own thoughts.

This could be a subtle sign that they’re not open to interaction. It’s not just about being shy or introverted; this behavior can also suggest a lack of interest or willingness to engage.

As Wanda Thibodeaux writes in Inc.:

“If you’re not looking at the other person at all, directing your attention to other people or things in the room, you’re essentially saying ‘You’re not important’ or, slightly more egotistically, ‘I get to decide when you’re important. I’m in control.'”

However, it’s essential to remember that cultural differences can significantly influence eye contact norms. So while limited eye contact can suggest unapproachability in some contexts, it may not necessarily apply universally.

2) Overly relaxed posture

Typically, you’d associate a relaxed posture with someone who’s comfortable and approachable, right? Well, not always.

In some cases, a person who appears overly relaxed, such as slouched or reclined in their chair, could be sending a signal of disinterest or disengagement.

This body language subtly communicates that they’re not invested in the interaction or conversation.

While this relaxed posture might seem inviting at first glance, it can actually be a way of creating distance. It’s like they’re physically present but mentally miles away.

Now, interpreting body language isn’t an exact science. It’s always essential to consider the context and other signals the person might be sending.

But if you notice this pattern frequently, it may be a sign that the individual is less than welcoming.

3) Closed body language

Ever noticed someone with crossed arms or legs during conversations? This is a form of closed body language and can send a clear message of unapproachability.

Crossing arms or legs acts as a physical barrier that can suggest a person is not open to what’s being said or the people around them.

It’s like they’re subconsciously protecting themselves from external influences or interactions.

Interestingly, our brains are wired to pick up on these non-verbal cues, often even before we consciously notice them.

So if you find yourself feeling uncomfortable or hesitant around someone but can’t put your finger on why, their body language could be the reason.

4) Lack of mirroring

Research shows that when we interact with someone we feel comfortable with, we naturally tend to mimic or “mirror” their body language. It’s a subtle way of saying “I’m like you, and I understand you.”

However, a person who appears cold and unapproachable may not engage in this mirroring. They may maintain their posture, gestures, and expressions without reflecting yours.

Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean they are intentionally being unkind or indifferent.

Some people might just not be as expressive or responsive due to various reasons like personal experiences, current mood, or even just their natural disposition.

It’s always good to remember that everyone has different comfort levels with social interactions.

Not mirroring doesn’t make them less of a person; it’s simply a way they might interact with the world around them.

5) Minimal gestures

We’ve all been there. You’re trying to engage in a conversation, and the other person seems almost statue-like, with minimal to no gestures. It can make the interaction feel one-sided and slightly awkward.

Gestures are a vital part of communication. They add an extra layer of meaning to our words and help convey our emotions and attitudes.

When someone doesn’t use many gestures, it can create a sense of disconnect or lack of enthusiasm.

6) Averted body orientation

Imagine you’re at a social gathering and you strike up a conversation with someone. However, instead of facing you directly, they position their body away from you or constantly look around.

This is known as averted body orientation. And it’s quite interesting how it creates distance in both the spatial and social sense.

Not only does it make the person appear literally farther, but it also parallels their desire to hold other people at a distance.

I once experienced this at a networking event. I was talking to an individual who kept turning his body towards the exit.

It was subtle, but it gave off an unspoken signal that he was not entirely engaged in our conversation or was looking for an escape route.

7) Lack of smiles or warm expressions

Lastly, let’s talk about the most obvious cue that could make someone appear cold and unapproachable — the lack of a smile. Or at least, a soft, warm facial expression.

Smiling is one of the most potent non-verbal cues we have. It communicates friendliness, warmth, and openness.

If you encounter someone who hardly ever cracks a smile or shows positive facial expressions, it can be disconcerting. It’s like trying to strike a match that just won’t light.

However, it’s essential to keep in mind that not everyone communicates their feelings or thoughts the same way.

Just because someone isn’t flashing a big, bright smile doesn’t mean they’re not worth knowing or that they have something against you.

Some people do have what’s called an RBF — a Resting Bitch Face. And it’s not their fault, really. According to plastic surgeon Anthony Youn, it’s a combination of multiple factors like gravity and genetics. 

Context is key

Despite all these signs, it’s crucial to remember that context is key when interpreting body language.

People’s gestures and expressions can be influenced by a variety of factors like their mood, comfort level, cultural background, or even just their personality type.

So, if you encounter someone displaying these signs of being cold and unapproachable, don’t jump to conclusions. They might just be having a bad day or be naturally reserved.

Understanding body language is a useful tool, but it shouldn’t replace empathy, understanding, and open communication.

After all, everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt, and often, a little patience and kindness can go a long way in breaking down barriers.