9 body language habits that make people truly listen to you when you’re speaking

Ava Sinclair by Ava Sinclair | May 3, 2024, 9:38 am

The key to getting people to really listen to what you’re saying isn’t always about the words you use.

It’s often about the non-verbal cues you’re sending.

Body language is a powerful tool, and when used effectively, it can make people pay attention to you and truly absorb what you’re saying.

We all have habits – some good, some bad.

But there are certain body language habits that can ensure your audience is hanging on your every word.

So, let’s dive into these 9 body language habits that will make people sit up and take notice the next time you’re speaking.

1) Open posture

One of the most fundamental aspects of effective body language is maintaining an open posture.

Imagine you’re talking to someone who’s hunched over, arms crossed, or turned away from you.

It’s hard to feel like they’re really listening, right?

Now, think about the last time you had a conversation with someone who was standing tall, shoulders relaxed, arms at their sides.

You likely felt more comfortable and open to what they had to say.

By keeping an open posture, you’re non-verbally communicating that you’re receptive, approachable, and trustworthy.

This can make the difference between someone tuning out or hanging on your every word.

Your body language speaks volumes before you even say a word.

So, make sure you’re sending the right message with an open and inviting posture.

2) Eye contact

I can’t stress enough how important eye contact is when you’re speaking.

It’s something I learned early in my career when I was giving a presentation.

I was nervously focusing on my slides, barely making eye contact with the audience.

Afterwards, I received feedback that while my content was good, people felt disconnected as they didn’t feel I was speaking to them directly.

From that experience, I learned that maintaining steady, but natural, eye contact can build a stronger connection with your listeners, making them feel seen and valued.

It’s like saying “I see you, I value your presence here and thank you for your attention.”

But remember, there’s a fine line between making eye contact and staring.

You don’t want to make people feel uncomfortable by staring at them without blinking. It’s all about finding that balance.

Ever since that presentation mishap, I’ve made it a point to maintain more eye contact.

And guess what?

People are more engaged when I speak now because they feel like I’m truly connecting with them.

3) Mirroring

Mirroring is a subtle yet powerful technique that involves reflecting back someone’s body language.

When done subtly, it can create a rapport and make the other person feel understood and at ease.

People who are in agreement with each other often naturally mirror each other’s body language.

This happens unconsciously as part of our human instinct to bond and build alliances.

By intentionally mirroring someone’s stance, gestures, or expressions while you’re speaking, you can foster a sense of understanding and connection.

But this technique needs to be applied with discretion.

Overdoing it can make you come across as inauthentic or even creepy.

The key is subtlety.

4) Gestures

Using your hands and arms to emphasize your points can help bring your words to life.

Gestures can help clarify your message and make it more memorable.

A well-placed hand gesture can highlight an important point, while a sweep of your arm can illustrate the ‘big picture’ of what you’re talking about.

But just as with other aspects of body language, balance is key.

Too little gesturing can make you seem robotic or unenthusiastic, whereas too much can be distracting or even overwhelming.

So, use gestures to enhance your message, but make sure they’re natural and appropriate to what you’re saying.

After all, effective communication is all about harmony between your words and actions.

5) Facial expressions

Your face is one of the most expressive parts of your body and can convey a huge range of emotions.

When you’re speaking, your facial expressions should match the tone and content of what you’re saying.

If you’re talking about a serious issue but smiling throughout, it can confuse your listeners and make them question your sincerity.

On the flip side, if you’re sharing a positive or exciting idea, let your face show it!

A genuine smile or an enthusiastic look can be contagious and inspire the same feelings in your listeners.

Always remember, your facial expressions can either enhance or contradict your words.

So, keep them in sync to make your message more powerful and persuasive.

6) Nodding

Nodding seems like a simple act, but it can have a profound impact on your conversations.

I remember a time when I was listening to a friend share a heartbreaking story.

As she spoke, I found myself instinctively nodding along, showing her that I was fully present and empathetic to her situation.

Nodding doesn’t just show that you’re agreeing with someone, it can also show empathy, understanding, and validation.

When you’re speaking, occasional nodding can send signals to your listeners that you’re in sync with them and value their responses.

Just like other body language cues, nodding should be genuine and match the discussion’s tone.

It can create a heartwarming connection with your listeners and make them feel truly heard and understood.

7) Posture

There was a time when I used to slouch quite a bit.

I didn’t realize it until someone pointed out that it made me appear less confident, even when I wasn’t feeling that way.

Your posture speaks volumes about your confidence and credibility.

Standing tall with your shoulders back not only makes you appear more confident, but it can actually make you feel more confident too.

When you’re speaking, maintaining a strong, upright posture can project authority and command respect.

It sends a signal to your listeners that you believe in what you’re saying and that they should too.

Since being aware of my own posture, I’ve noticed a significant difference in how people respond to me when I’m speaking.

It’s a simple change that can have a big impact.

8) Proximity

The physical distance between you and your listener can greatly influence how well they listen to you.

Being too far away might make you seem distant or unapproachable, making it harder for your listener to connect with you.

On the other hand, getting too close can be invasive and uncomfortable.

Finding the right balance is key.

Depending on the setting, you might want to adjust your proximity to ensure your listener feels comfortable yet engaged.

Every person and situation is different, so don’t be afraid to adjust your proximity as needed when you’re speaking.

It’s all about creating a space where your listener feels comfortable and is open to what you have to say.

9) Consistency

Consistency is the cornerstone of effective body language.

Your gestures, facial expressions, posture, and other non-verbal cues should all be in harmony with your words.

If your body language contradicts your words, it can confuse your listeners and undermine your credibility.

For example, if you’re talking about a positive outcome but your face looks worried, people might doubt the truth of your words.

Consistency signals authenticity, which is key to gaining trust and making people truly listen to you.

Always ensure your body language aligns with what you’re saying to make your message more believable and impactful.

It’s all about connection

At the heart of it all, communication is about making connections.

It’s about conveying your ideas in a way that resonates with others, makes them feel seen, and encourages them to engage in conversation.

And the secret to creating these meaningful connections?

It may just lie in the subtle art of body language.

The way we stand, the gestures we use, our facial expressions, and even our proximity to others can shape how our words are received.

These non-verbal cues can make the difference between being heard and truly being listened to.

Every conversation, every speech, every interaction is an opportunity to connect on a deeper level.

And by incorporating these 9 body language habits into your communication toolkit, you can ensure that your words aren’t just heard, but truly listened to and understood.

So next time you find yourself in a conversation or about to give a talk, remember: your body speaks as loudly as your words.

Use it wisely.