If you recognize these 9 behaviors, you’re surrounding yourself with the wrong people

Mia Zhang by Mia Zhang | September 17, 2024, 4:18 pm

Sometimes it’s not about finding the right people but about realizing when you’re with the wrong ones.

The wrong crowd can drain your energy, influence you negatively, and hinder your progress in life. It’s not always easy to spot, but there are telltale behaviors that speak volumes.

In this article, you’ll find out about 9 of these behaviors. If you identify these signs in the people around you, it might be time to reassess your company.

And remember, it’s not about judging others but about protecting your own peace and growth. So, let’s dive in, shall we?

1) Lack of support

We all need a cheer squad in life. People who will stand by us, uplift us, believe in us even when we find it hard to believe in ourselves.

But what if the ones around you don’t do that? What if they belittle your dreams or achievements, or worse, act indifferent?

That’s a red flag, my friend.

A lack of support or downright discouragement can be a clear sign that you’re in the company of the wrong people. Positive, motivating people will always support your progress and celebrate your achievements with you.

If you have people in your life who don’t, it might be time to reassess their place in your life.

2) Constant criticism

I remember a time when I had a close friend who was continually critical. At first, I thought they were just trying to help me improve. But over time, it felt more like they were tearing me down rather than building me up.

Every idea I shared, every decision I made, was met with a barrage of criticism. It made me second guess myself and led to a significant dip in my self-confidence.

That’s when I realized that constant criticism isn’t constructive. True friends give constructive feedback and also know when to commend.

If someone in your life is always critical and rarely appreciative, it might be a sign that you’re surrounding yourself with the wrong people. A healthy relationship involves uplifting each other, not constant criticism.

3) Negativity

Ever felt like being around negative folks sucked the life right out of you?

Well, it’s not just in your head—there’s science behind it. Turns out, our brains have these neat little things called “mirror neurons” that reflect the vibes of those around us.

Translation? Hang with Debbie Downers, and you might start channeling their gloom and doom.

Negativity’s contagious, my friend. Thus, if you’re knee-deep in a swamp of complaints and pessimism, it’s time to rethink your squad. Surround yourself with rays of sunshine instead.  

4) Lack of respect

Respect isn’t just a nice-to-have—it’s non-negotiable in any relationship worth its salt. But when you start noticing a lack of it in your circle, that’s a red flag waving high.

From constant interruptions to shrugging off your thoughts and feelings, disrespect comes in many flavors.

But here’s the kicker: You deserve better.

The right people will value your voice and respect your personal space and boundaries. If those around you don’t, it might be an indication that they’re not the best company for you.  

5) They are self-centered

We’ve all had our moments of self-absorption, sure. But there’s a world of difference between a fleeting moment and a lifetime subscription.

When you’re surrounded by folks who make the whole world revolve around them, it’s like being stuck in a black hole of neediness. It’s all take and no give, leaving you feeling drained and invisible.

Here’s the thing about relationships: They’re supposed to be a dance of give and take.

But if you’re always on the giving end, while your needs gather dust in the corner, you might be dealing with some seriously self-centered characters.

6) They don’t value your time

Time’s a precious commodity, right? The folks we share it with should treat it like gold.

But here’s the rub: Not everyone gets that memo.

Some folks flake on plans last minute, stroll in late without a hint of remorse, or squander your minutes on trivial nonsense.

It stings, no doubt about it. It’s like they’re saying your time doesn’t matter.

Here’s the bottom line: Your time is priceless. The right crowd will get that and show up, both figuratively and literally.  

7) They break your trust

Trust is everything to me. Once, I opened up to a friend about something personal, only to discover they spilled it to others.

That betrayal? It cut deep.

Trust is the bedrock of any bond, but once shattered, it’s hard to piece back together. If those around you keep breaking your trust—whether through gossip, lies, or flakiness—it’s a neon sign that you’re in the wrong crowd.

Real pals treat your trust like gold. They zip their lips, stick to their word, and prove they’re worthy of your faith. Surround yourself with folks who treasure and honor the trust you place in them.

8) They bring out the worst in you

The company we keep can have a significant impact on our behavior and attitude. If you find that you’re not liking the person you become when you’re with certain individuals, it’s a sign something’s off.

Perhaps you’re more irritable, more negative, or indulge in habits you’re not proud of when you’re with them. This is a clear signal that their influence on you is not positive.

The right people will inspire and encourage you to be the best version of yourself. If those around you are bringing out the worst in you instead, it might be time to reconsider their place in your life.

9) They don’t make you happy

Your happiness? It’s non-negotiable.

If certain folks always leave you feeling drained, miserable, or stressed, it’s a glaring sign: they’re not your tribe.

Relationships should be a source of joy and growth. The right crew will have you laughing until your sides hurt, lifting you up, and making every day brighter.

If you’re not experiencing these positive emotions with the people around you, it’s time to reassess. Surround yourself with those who bring light into your life and help make your happiness a priority.

Know your worth

If you constantly find yourself feeling drained, unappreciated, or unhappy in the company you keep, it’s time to reassess.  

Trust your instincts—if interactions consistently leave you feeling lesser, it’s a sign that change is needed. Your circle should be a source of positivity, growth, and genuine support. 

Don’t settle for anything less. Life’s too short to spend it with the wrong people.