One thing I’ve noticed in myself the older I get is that more and more, I find myself saying, “I don’t have time for people who make me sad/mad/discouraged.” 

I’ve become so much more selective about who I let into my life. I suppose I’ve become wiser, at least in this area of my life. 

You see, I now know just how impactful and influential the company we keep can be. They can either hold us back or nudge us forward and lift us up. 

If you want to be more intentional about the company you keep as well, you’re in the right place. 

Here are five types of people you should surround yourself with as you get older. Trust me, they’ll make your life so much happier and richer. 

1) The passionate

The highly curious. The highly driven. The people who listen to what their hearts say and go after it with everything they’ve got. 

Look, life is too short to sit on the sidelines, just playing it safe or waiting for the “right time” to make your move. 

As someone who used to do exactly that, I’m ever so grateful for the folks in my life who are so passionate about life. 

Their presence reminds me that I, too, can live life that way, with fire and dynamism. They make me believe that anything is possible if I care about it enough and commit to it. 

Passion is contagious. Surround yourself with passionate people and you’ll always feel inspired and motivated. 

2) The honest critic

Also known as the “grounded realist”, this type of person is just as important as the passionate ones. 

It’s always good to have someone who can tell you when you’re heading down the wrong path or getting caught up in unrealistic ideas. 

Let’s face it – when we’ve got big dreams, our ego can get in the way. Even more if we’ve achieved big successes. An honest friend will knock some sense back into us if we’ve gotten a little too big for our breeches.

What they say might sting – feedback and criticism often feels that way – but at least you know they’re coming from a good place. 

A place where they want you to improve and learn from your mistakes. A place where they want to see you grow and reach your full potential.

I don’t know about you, but I like having someone in my corner who doesn’t sugarcoat the truth. I don’t ever want to be like the emperor who stepped out with no clothes and nobody had the guts to tell him! 

3) People smarter than you

Have you heard of the saying, “If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room”? 

I’ve subscribed to this notion all my life, and it has really done wonders for me. 

It might sound counterintuitive, since most people want to be the smartest person in the room, right? 

But for me, I don’t see what good that would do. I like learning new things and encountering different perspectives. I can’t do any of that if I’m the smartest one! 

Being around people who are smarter than you opens up a whole new world of growth and possibility. They can boost your personal growth by:  

• Challenging your way of thinking
• Introducing you to ideas you’ve never considered
• Honing your listening skills
• Teaching you to be non-judgmental and open-minded

Instead of feeling threatened by other people’s intelligence, try a different way of looking at it – from an appreciative lens. 

Think about how much you can learn from them, and you’ll see the wisdom in not being the smartest person in the room. 

4) People with a sense of humor

Look, life is already so serious. If you’ve been an adult long enough, you know what I mean. We’ve got a whole lot of worries and troubles, don’t we? 

Which is why it’s so important to surround yourself with people who have a healthy sense of humor. 

According to the folks at Arcadian Therapy, humor is so powerful in keeping relationships healthy. Here are some of its benefits: 

• Laughing improves communication. Think about how it’s so much easier to talk about difficult topics with someone you’ve already shared some laughs with.
• Laughter increases bonding between loved ones. Sharing jokes can make us feel so connected and seen. 
• Laughing releases endorphins, our natural feel-good hormones, so we feel less stressed. Don’t you want this to be a regular part of your life? 
• Laughter builds resilience. Even a little dose of humor can help us cope with grief, loss, and the dark times of our lives. 

And you know what else? Being with funny people makes time pass by fast. As they say, time flies when you’re having fun!

5) Positive and gentle people

In the same way, if you want life to feel light, surround yourself with positive and gentle people. 

Have you noticed how so much of the world has become jaded and cynical? Not to mention rude and entitled? 

I truly believe that the energy of the people around us has a profound effect on our well-being and mindsets. 

If you’re around negative people, chances are you feel stressed and drained. And what’s worse is, you may even come to be that way yourself. 

As Dr. Alex Lickerman says in Psychology Today, “On days when we’re weaker ourselves and therefore more susceptible to negative influences, we should avoid such people as best we can. It’s quite easy when we’re feeling low to spiral even lower under the influence of someone else’s negativity.”

That’s the power of influence. Which is why it’s so important to seek out the right kind of influence – those who radiate kindness, positivity, and calmness. 

When I was younger, I hung out with people who weren’t exactly the greatest influence. It was a circle where gossip was common and there was an underlying theme of competition. 

Later on, when I became a teacher, I started being friends with my coworkers. And wow, the difference was huge. I suppose it’s because they all had that huge teacher heart, where respect, generosity, and kindness were the norm. 

And for that, I am ever so thankful. I needed that kind of positive influence in my life so I could become a kind, joyful, and gentle person myself. 

Final thoughts

If there’s one life strategy that has brought me untold rewards, it’s being picky with the relationships I keep and nurture. 

So, ask yourself what kind of person you want to be. Then ask yourself if the people in your life are helping you become that person. 

Are they lifting you up and challenging you to grow? Do they love and respect you? Or are they holding you back and slowing down your progress? 

These are important questions, because when it comes to relationships, quality trumps quantity. Be intentional about who you surround yourself with, so you can thrive and be fulfilled.