Empathy isn’t just about feeling for someone, it’s about feeling with them. It’s the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, and it all starts with how we communicate.

When we speak with empathy, we signal that we’re in this together, that I see you and I’m here for you. And, believe it or not, there are certain phrases that can help us do just that.

In this article, I’m going to share with you nine phrases that can make expressing empathy easier. These are phrases that can help you connect on a deeper level and show the people in your life that you truly understand what they’re going through.

Remember, it’s not about fixing their problems but simply letting them know they’re not alone. So, let’s dive in.

1) “I see you’re feeling…”

Empathy starts with recognition. Recognizing someone’s emotional state and reflecting it back to them is the first step in expressing empathy.

It’s not always easy to identify what someone is feeling, especially if they’re trying to hide it. But when you do notice, calling it out can be incredibly powerful.

The phrase “I see you’re feeling…” acknowledges their emotions without judgement. It gives them the freedom to affirm, deny or clarify their feelings.

For example, if a friend seems upset you could say, “I see you’re feeling upset.” This gives them an opening to talk about their feelings if they want to.

This simple phrase can help you connect on a deeper level and shows the other person that you’re paying attention to their emotional state.

It’s not about guessing or assuming what they’re feeling, but about opening a door for them to express themselves. And remember, be genuine and sincere when using this phrase. It’s all about showing true empathy.

2) “I’ve been there too…”

We all have our own unique experiences, but human emotions are universal. One of the most powerful ways to express empathy is to share a similar experience.

The phrase “I’ve been there too…” can create a bridge of understanding between you and the other person. It gives them the comfort that they’re not alone in what they’re feeling.

For instance, I remember a time when one of my close friends was going through a tough break-up. She felt lost and confused. Seeing her in pain, I shared my own experience of heartbreak and said, “I’ve been there too, it’s really tough and I’m sorry you’re going through this.”

In sharing my personal experience, I wasn’t trying to overshadow her pain or make it about me. Instead, I was trying to show her that I understand what she’s feeling and that she’s not alone.

Remember, it’s not about comparing experiences, but about expressing that you understand their feelings from your own experiences.

3) “What you’re saying is…”

Here’s something you may not realize: when we’re upset or emotional, it can be hard to articulate exactly what we’re feeling. This is where reflective listening comes into play.

The phrase “What you’re saying is…” helps to clarify the other person’s feelings and make sure you’re understanding them correctly. It’s a tool that therapists often use to help clients feel heard and understood.

For example, if someone says, “I’m just so frustrated with my boss,” you might respond with, “What you’re saying is, you feel like your boss doesn’t value your work.”

By reflecting their feelings back at them, you’re showing that you’re truly listening and understanding their perspective. This can help create a stronger emotional connection and make the other person feel valued and heard.

4) “That sounds really tough…”

Sometimes all a person needs is validation. They need to know that their feelings are real and valid, and that it’s okay to feel the way they do.

The phrase “That sounds really tough…” can provide that much-needed validation. It acknowledges the difficulty of their situation without offering unsolicited advice or trying to fix their problem.

For instance, if a coworker is struggling with a challenging project, you might say, “That sounds really tough, you’ve been putting a lot of effort into this.”

Remember, empathy isn’t about solving problems, it’s about understanding and sharing in someone’s feelings. This phrase allows you to do just that. It validates their experience and lets them know that you’re there to offer support, not solutions.

5) “How can I support you?”

Empathy also involves offering help in a respectful and considerate way. Asking, “How can I support you?” shows that you’re there for them, ready to help in any way they need.

Instead of assuming what they might need, this question allows them to express what kind of support would be most helpful. It also implies your willingness to be there for them.

For example, if a friend is going through a hard time, you might say, “I’m really sorry to hear that you’re going through this. How can I support you?”

This approach puts them in control and allows them to guide the conversation and the type of help they receive. Remember, the goal is not to take over but to offer a helping hand when they’re ready to reach out.

6) “You’re not alone in this…”

When life gets tough, it’s easy to feel isolated. In such times, hearing that you’re not alone can be incredibly comforting.

The phrase “You’re not alone in this…” conveys solidarity and reassurance. It’s a gentle reminder that it’s okay to lean on others and share our burdens.

If a loved one is facing a challenging situation, you could say, “I’m here for you, and you’re not alone in this.”

This simple phrase can be a source of immense comfort. It reassures them that they have your support and that they don’t have to face their struggles alone.

Remember, empathy is about more than understanding – it’s about making someone feel seen, heard, and less alone. And sometimes, assuring them that they’re not alone is the most empathetic thing you can do.

7) “I understand why you would feel that way…”

Acknowledging someone’s feelings is a crucial part of empathy. It shows that not only do you recognize their emotions, but you can also understand why they might be feeling that way.

The phrase “I understand why you would feel that way…” does just that. It validates their emotions and shows that you can see things from their perspective.

I remember a time when my younger brother was upset about not making the basketball team. Instead of dismissing his feelings, I said, “I understand why you would feel that way. Being part of the team meant a lot to you.”

By saying this, I was validating his feelings and showing him that his disappointment was understandable. It’s not about agreeing or disagreeing with them, but about acknowledging their perspective and helping them feel heard.

8) “Can you tell me more about that?”

One of the best ways to show empathy is to show genuine interest in what the other person is experiencing. The phrase “Can you tell me more about that?” encourages the other person to open up more about their feelings.

This question shows that you’re not just sympathizing, but truly empathizing. You’re not just acknowledging their feelings, but you’re also interested in understanding them better.

For example, if a friend shares something they’re struggling with, you could say, “That sounds really hard. Can you tell me more about that?”

It’s a non-judgmental invitation for them to share more of their experience. It shows that you’re there to listen and understand, not just hear. Remember, empathy involves truly stepping into someone else’s shoes, and this phrase can help you do just that.

9) “I’m here for you…”

At the heart of empathy is presence. The most powerful thing you can say to someone who’s struggling is simply, “I’m here for you.”

This phrase communicates your willingness to stand by them, to be there in their time of need – whether that means listening, offering a shoulder to cry on, or just sitting with them in silence.

It’s a simple yet powerful expression of empathy, and a reminder that they don’t have to face their struggles alone. Because sometimes, the greatest comfort comes from knowing that there’s someone by your side, ready to support you no matter what.

Final thoughts: Empathy is a skill

The art of expressing empathy is far more than just using the right words. It’s about actively listening, understanding, and sharing someone else’s feelings. It’s about making someone feel seen, heard, and less alone.

In truth, empathy is a skill. It’s something we can all work on and get better at over time.

Remember, it’s not about having all the answers or fixing someone’s problems. It’s about being there, offering support, and showing that you care.

The phrases we’ve discussed in this article may seem simple, but when used sincerely they can make a world of difference. They can help strengthen relationships, build trust, and ultimately, make us better communicators.

So the next time someone opens up to you about their feelings or struggles, remember these phrases. Remember to listen with an open heart and respond with empathy.

Because at the end of the day, we all just want to be understood. And understanding starts with empathy.