Loneliness and isolation can creep in unexpectedly — often not because of what’s happening around us — but because of our everyday habits.

These are the patterns of behaviour we’ve fallen into, often without even realizing it.

And some of these habits can exacerbate feelings of loneliness and isolation.

The good news is habits can be changed.

By saying goodbye to certain behaviours, you can open up new pathways to connection and companionship.

Let’s delve into 9 habits you might want to consider ditching if you’re feeling lonely and isolated in life.

1) Spending too much time on social media

There’s no denying the power of social media.

It’s a tool that allows us to connect with people across the globe at the click of a button.

But here’s the catch: while it may seem like we’re more connected, studies have shown that excessive use of social media can actually make us feel more isolated.

Scrolling through carefully curated highlights of other people’s lives can lead to feelings of inadequacy and loneliness.

It’s easy to compare your behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel and feel like you’re missing out.

At the end of the day, the quality of your life depends on the quality of your connections, not quantity.

So consider reducing your time online and focusing on building meaningful relationships in person.

2) Avoiding social situations

I get it, I’ve been there.

Sometimes, when you’re feeling lonely, the last thing you want to do is put yourself in a social situation. It seems counterintuitive, doesn’t it?

There was a time when I would turn down invites to parties or gatherings because I felt like an outsider.

I thought I wouldn’t fit in or have anything interesting to say.

But here’s what I found out: avoiding social situations only fueled my feelings of isolation.

One day, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and accepted an invitation to a local community event. It wasn’t easy, but it was a turning point for me.

I met some really great people who shared similar interests. It reminded me that there are so many different ways to connect with others.

If you’re prone to avoiding social situations, consider giving them another shot.

You might be pleasantly surprised by the connections you can make when you step out of your comfort zone.

3) Over-reliance on self-sufficiency

We live in a culture that applauds independence and self-reliance. But there’s a delicate balance to be struck here.

While it’s important to be able to stand on your own two feet, complete self-sufficiency can lead to isolation.

In some of the longest-living communities in the world, known as the Blue Zones, strong social networks and interdependence play a key role in longevity.

What I’m trying to say is: It’s okay to ask for help when you need it. It’s okay to lean on others sometimes.

Not only does this lead to stronger relationships, but it also fosters a sense of community and belonging.

4) Neglecting self-care

When you’re feeling lonely, it’s easy to fall into a cycle of neglecting your own needs.

You might skip meals, have irregular sleep patterns, or abandon hobbies that once brought you joy.

But here’s the thing: self-care is crucial not just for your physical health, but for your emotional well-being too.

Taking time to care for yourself can boost your mood and energy levels, making it easier to connect with others.

Whether it’s taking a walk in nature, practicing mindfulness, or simply enjoying a good book, self-care activities can help combat feelings of loneliness.

5) Holding on to negative self-talk

A few years ago, I went through a period where I found myself in the depths of low self-esteem.

I often engaged in negative self-talk, criticizing myself for every perceived flaw or mistake.

Whether it was about my appearance or abilities, I was always zooming in on the negative aspects and became extremely self-conscious.

Whenever I heard laughter or saw colleagues chatting nearby, I automatically assumed they were talking about me.

These thoughts fed into my insecurities, making me interpret even the most innocent remarks as evidence of my own inadequacy. “They probably think I’m too quiet,” I told myself, “or maybe they see me as a have-been.”

This negative self-talk distorted my perceptions of social interactions and reinforced my insecurities, exacerbating my feelings of isolation.

As a result, I withdrew from social gatherings and team activities, which ultimately deepened my sense of loneliness.

The thing is: Negative self-talk can hold us back from reaching out to others.

Whenever you find your mind wandering into a darker place, start speaking kinder, more supportive messages to it.

This shift may not happen overnight, but with time and practice, you can cultivate a more positive inner dialogue.

6) Keeping your feelings to yourself

When you’re feeling lonely, it can be tempting to bottle up your emotions.

You might fear judgement, rejection, or simply not want to burden others with your feelings.

But remember this: it’s okay to express how you feel.

Sharing your feelings with others can be a powerful way to combat loneliness. It helps us feel understood and less alone in our struggles.

It builds connections and deepens relationships.

You don’t have to face loneliness on your own. Reach out to a friend, family member, or mental health professional.

There are people who care about you and want to help.

7) Sticking to the familiar

I used to spend a lot of my time in a routine. Work, home, maybe the occasional outing with a friend or two.

It was comfortable, but it was also unfulfilling. And the more I stuck to the familiar, the lonelier I felt.

It wasn’t until I decided to mix things up a bit that things started to change.

I enrolled in a cooking class, started attending local events, and even took up hiking.

Suddenly, I was meeting new people and trying new things. It was scary at first, but it was also exciting.

And slowly but surely, that feeling of loneliness began to fade.

If you’re stuck in a routine and feeling isolated, consider shaking things up a bit. Try out a new hobby or join a club.

You might just find it’s exactly what you needed to feel more connected.

8) Overthinking social interactions

Repeat after me: Que sera, sera! Whatever will be, will be. So you used your dinner fork to eat salad and rushed through dessert with a soup spoon at a fancy dinner.

So what? Who doesn’t make mistakes? Do you really think people will stop being friends with you over some social blunders?

Faux pas are a normal part of human communication.

Overthinking them doesn’t help matters.  Instead of dissecting every interaction, try to take them as they come.

Practice being present and engaged in conversations, rather than worrying about what might go wrong.

9) Believing you’re alone in your loneliness

The irony of feeling lonely is that you’re never truly alone in that experience.

Loneliness is a universal feeling that touches everyone at some point. It’s a shared thread in the fabric of being human.

Realizing this can chip away at the shame or stigma often associated with loneliness.

It’s not a mark against your character or a signal that you’re unworthy of love.

So, if you’re grappling with loneliness and isolation, hold onto this truth: You’re not sailing solo in this sea of emotions.

There are others who’ve navigated similar waters, and there are lifelines of support and resources waiting to be seized.

Don’t just cope, psyche out!

Human connection and feelings of loneliness are deeply rooted in our psyche.

They’re not just fleeting emotions, but powerful states that can shape our lives.

Here’s the kicker: feeling lonely doesn’t reflect your worth or your knack for bonding.

It’s a journey we all embark on at some point, a shared expedition through the highs and lows of human experience.

It’s easy to overlook how our everyday habits may be contributing to feelings of isolation.

Changing habits is a journey, not a destination. It requires patience, self-compassion, and persistence.

As you bid adieu to these habits, you’re not just moving away from loneliness.

You’re moving towards a life enriched with deeper connections and an enhanced sense of belonging.