We all encounter a variety of personalities in our daily lives, some easier to deal with than others.

One particularly tricky type is the passive-aggressive individual.

Passive-aggressiveness is a behavior characterized by indirect resistance and avoidance.

It can be subtle and hard to pin down, but it can also be incredibly frustrating.

As someone who has spent a lot of time studying psychology, I’ve come to recognize certain signs that suggest passive-aggressiveness.

Understanding these signs can help make your interactions with them much smoother. 

So buckle up.  Here are nine telltale signs that you might be dealing with a passive-aggressive person, according to psychology.

1) They’re masters of the backhanded compliment

Passive-aggressive individuals have an uncanny ability to deliver compliments that don’t quite sound like compliments.

They’re often masters of the backhanded compliment, a remark that on the surface sounds like praise but contains a veiled insult or criticism.

For instance, they might say something like, “I love how you just wear anything,” which seems like a compliment about your carefree style, but has an underlying tone of criticism about your fashion sense.

It’s a clever way of expressing disapproval without overt confrontation, allowing them to maintain a veneer of politeness while still getting their dig in.

2) They excel at procrastination

Now, we all procrastinate from time to time.

But passive-aggressive individuals often use it as a tool for expressing their resentment or resistance, especially when asked to do something they’d rather not do.

For example, at my previous job, I worked with someone who would always take an extraordinarily long time to complete tasks that he didn’t want to do.

If you asked him to submit a report, he’d nod and smile, agreeing to the task. But days, even weeks, would go by without any progress.

It wasn’t that he was incapable or too busy – it was a form of silent rebellion.

He was expressing his resistance in a non-confrontational way, making it hard for anyone to call him out without seeming unreasonable.

3) They’re notorious for the silent treatment

One classic trait of a passive-aggressive person is their tendency to give the silent treatment.

This is a form of punishment where they deliberately ignore or exclude someone to express their displeasure or to assert control.

The silent treatment is a way for passive-aggressive individuals to avoid direct confrontation while still making their feelings known.

It’s an attempt to make you feel guilty or anxious without them having to articulate their grievances.

4) They often play the victim

Another common characteristic of passive-aggressive individuals is their tendency to portray themselves as the victim.

They know how to turn situations around to make it look like they’re the ones being wronged.

For instance, if you confront them about a missed deadline, they might argue that they were overwhelmed with work and nobody cared to help. 

This victim mentality serves two purposes.

First, it deflects attention away from their behavior. Second, it elicits sympathy and puts others on the defensive.

5) They’re experts at subtly sabotaging

Passive-aggressive individuals are often skilled at subtly undermining others.

This could manifest in ways such as conveniently forgetting important details, making mistakes on purpose, or delivering less than their best effort, especially when they disagree with the task at hand.

For example, a passive-aggressive team member might “accidentally” forget to invite you to an important meeting if they’re unhappy about a decision you made.

This way, they express their discontent without direct confrontation.

6) They use sarcasm as a weapon

Sarcasm can be a humorous tool when used effectively.

But in the hands of a passive-aggressive person, it often serves as a disguised form of criticism or hostility.

I’ve seen relationships strained and self-esteem damaged because of this. Watching a loved one frequently on the receiving end of such remarks can be heart-wrenching.

The passive-aggressive individual uses sarcasm under the guise of jokes, making it difficult for the recipients to express their discomfort without seeming overly sensitive.

7) They tend to be indirectly confrontational

Dealing with confrontation is not easy for most of us.

However, passive-aggressive individuals often take this to another level by expressing their feelings or disagreements in an indirect manner.

I remember a time when I had a roommate who was unhappy about the cleanliness of our shared space.

Instead of talking to me directly, she would leave cleaning supplies out on the counter or post sticky notes with cleaning tips around the house.

It was her way of expressing her dissatisfaction without having to have a direct conversation.

This indirect confrontation can lead to confusion and misunderstandings, often making things worse. 

8) They often display inconsistent behavior

Passive-aggressive individuals can sometimes exhibit inconsistent behavior.

One day they might be friendly and cooperative, the next day they might seem distant and unapproachable without any apparent reason.

This inconsistency can be a way for them to express their displeasure or disagreement without verbalizing it.

It can also serve as a control mechanism, keeping you on your toes and creating an atmosphere of uncertainty.

9) They struggle with expressing their emotions openly

At the core of passive-aggressive behavior lies a difficulty in expressing emotions openly and honestly.

This may be due to a variety of reasons such as fear of confrontation or rejection. 

Individuals who exhibit passive-aggressiveness may also lack the the skill or vocabulary to effectively communicate their emotions,  particularly negative ones.

They may struggle to identify and articulate their feelings, choosing rather to  express their discontent or anger through indirect actions and subtle cues.

But beneath their seemingly innocent facade, lies a lot of pent up frustration and resentment.  

Understanding is the key

Unraveling the complexities of human behavior is no simple task.

It’s a maze of emotions, experiences, and sometimes, unexpressed feelings.

Passive-aggressiveness, as we’ve discovered, is one such complex expression of unvoiced discontent and resentment.

So the next time you encounter a passive-aggressive individual, remember these signs.

Try to step into their shoes and listen without judgment.

You might not only improve your relationship with them but also help them find healthier ways to express their feelings.