Loneliness can be a tricky thing to spot, especially in yourself. It’s not as simple as being alone. It’s a feeling, a state of mind, and sometimes, it shows up in the subtlest of behaviors.

As someone who’s been there, I can tell you that the signs aren’t always obvious. You might be surrounded by people and still feel a gnawing sense of isolation.

Here, I’m going to share with you the subtle behaviors that might be hinting at your own hidden loneliness. They’re things that I’ve observed in myself and others, and they might just help you better understand your own feelings.

1) You’re spending more time online

We’ve all heard the old adage – too much of anything can be harmful, and the internet is no exception.

Don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing wrong with scrolling through social media or binge-watching your favorite shows. But when you’re spending more time online than you are interacting with people in real life, it might be a sign of loneliness.

It’s easy to substitute virtual connections for real ones. After all, online, you can carefully curate your life, presenting only the parts you want others to see.

But deep down, you know it’s not the same. The virtual world can’t replace genuine human connection. And if you’re spending countless hours online, it might be because you’re trying to fill a void that’s been left by a lack of real-world interaction.

2) You’re becoming a night owl

I’ve always been more of a night person. The quiet solitude of the late hours seemed appealing. It was a time when I could be alone with my thoughts, without the hustle and bustle of the day.

But as time passed, I began to realize that my nocturnal tendencies were not just about enjoying the peace of the night. I was avoiding people, choosing to stay up late when everyone else was asleep. My sleep cycle became a shield, an excuse to not interact with others.

Looking back now, I see that it was a sign of my loneliness. I wasn’t just a night owl by nature; I was isolating myself, seeking solace in solitude to escape the pain of feeling alone.

3) You’re overindulging in comfort food

Let’s face it, we all have those days when nothing feels better than curling up on the couch with a tub of ice cream. But when indulging in comfort food becomes more of a habit than an occasional treat, it might be a sign of loneliness.

Research has shown a correlation between feelings of loneliness and increased consumption of high-fat, high-sugar foods. Our brains are wired to seek comfort in food when we’re feeling low. The temporary pleasure we get from eating something delicious can distract us from our feelings of isolation.

4) You’re losing interest in personal grooming

We all have those lazy days when we can’t be bothered to get out of our pajamas, let alone brush our hair. But when these days turn into weeks, it might be a sign of something deeper.

Perhaps you’ve stopped caring about how you look or you’ve stopped taking time to take care of your personal hygiene. These could be subtle signs of loneliness.

When we feel disconnected from others, it’s easy to neglect ourselves. After all, if no one’s around to notice, why bother, right? But this lack of self-care might be more than just laziness; it could be a cry for connection, an indication that you’re lonelier than you think.

5) You’re feeling more irritable than usual

We all have our off days, when everything seems to get on our nerves. But if you find that you’re constantly feeling irritable, snapping at the smallest things, it might be a sign of loneliness.

Loneliness can take a toll on our emotional health, leaving us feeling more sensitive to things that we would normally brush off. That sudden rush of anger when your friend cancels plans or the irritation you feel when your colleague makes a minor mistake, could all be signs pointing towards hidden feelings of loneliness.

It’s okay to have bad days. But if those bad days are becoming the norm rather than the exception, it might be time to take a step back and evaluate your emotional state.

6) You’re longing for the past

Do you find yourself constantly reminiscing about the past? Wishing for days gone by when things seemed simpler, happier? This longing for the past might be more than just nostalgia; it could be a sign of loneliness.

When we feel isolated in the present, it’s natural to seek comfort in our memories. After all, they’re a safe haven, filled with moments of joy and companionship. But getting stuck there can be an indication of loneliness in the present.

You may be missing more than just the good old times. Perhaps what you’re really missing is the sense of connection and belonging you felt then.

7) You’re avoiding social events

There was a time when I loved going to parties and being surrounded by friends. But slowly, I started to find excuses to avoid them. I would say I was busy, not feeling well, or just needed some ‘me’ time.

In reality, I was battling feelings of loneliness and isolation. The thought of being in a room filled with people, yet feeling utterly alone, was overwhelming. So, I chose to stay away.

Avoiding social events is a common sign of loneliness. When you’re feeling alone, the idea of putting on a brave face can be exhausting. You might start to isolate yourself, believing it’s easier than pretending to be happy.

8) You’re feeling constantly tired

Feeling lonely can be emotionally draining. The constant yearning for connection, the struggle to fill the void of isolation – it can leave you feeling perpetually tired. You might find yourself wanting to sleep more, not out of physical exhaustion but as an escape from the emptiness.

Persistent feelings of exhaustion might not solely stem from physical fatigue. Instead, they could serve as an indication of grappling with emotions of loneliness.

9) You’re feeling disconnected

Even in a crowd, do you often feel alone? Do you find yourself feeling disconnected from the people around you, even those you’re close to? This sense of disconnection can be a major sign of loneliness.

We are social creatures by nature, designed to connect and form relationships. When these connections are lacking or feel superficial, it can lead to feelings of isolation.

It’s not about how many friends you have or how often you socialize. It’s about the quality of your relationships and the depth of your connections. If these connections feel insignificant or unfulfilling, it might be a sign that you’re lonelier than you think.

Final thought: It’s okay to ask for help

The human experience is complex and filled with a myriad of emotions. Loneliness, while uncomfortable, is a part of this tapestry. It’s an emotion that can sneak up on us, showing itself in subtle behaviors that often go unnoticed.

Recognizing these signs in ourselves can be a challenging journey. But remember, acknowledging loneliness is not a sign of weakness, but one of strength and self-awareness.

If you’ve recognized some of these behaviors in yourself, it’s okay to reach out and seek help. We all crave connection, and sometimes we need to lean on others to find it.