8 signs you’ve genuinely matured as a person, according to psychology

Avatar by Lachlan Brown | December 5, 2024, 11:10 am

Let’s face it, maturity doesn’t always come with age.

Sometimes, I meet young people who are incredibly wise and mature. And then there are older folks who act like entitled teenagers. Maturity, as it turns out, is more about our mental and emotional growth than our physical age.

As a student of mindfulness and Buddhism, I’ve come to realize that maturity is not just about paying your bills on time or keeping a clean house. It’s deeper than that. It’s about how you perceive and handle life and the people around you.

Psychology provides some pretty clear pointers to identify if you’ve genuinely matured as a person. And today, I’m sharing 8 of these signs with you.

Let’s dive into the signs that show you’ve genuinely matured as a person, according to psychology.

1) You’re not a slave to your emotions

Remember those days when a bad mood could ruin your entire day? Or when anger could make you say things you’d later regret?

Well, as we grow and mature, we learn not to be ruled by our emotions. It’s not that we stop feeling – far from it. We still feel happiness, sadness, anger, and everything in between. But we don’t let these feelings control us.

This is where mindfulness comes into play.

In my studies and practice of mindfulness and Buddhism, I’ve learned that it’s okay to have emotions. After all, they’re a natural part of being human. But with mindfulness, we learn to observe our emotions without getting swept up in them.

This doesn’t mean suppressing or ignoring what you’re feeling. It means recognizing the emotion, understanding why it’s there, and allowing it to pass without letting it dictate your actions.

If you’ve mastered this skill, congratulations – you’ve taken a significant step towards emotional maturity. It’s not easy, but it’s a sign of true personal growth.

2) You’ve mastered the art of letting go

We’ve all had those moments in life where we’ve held onto things longer than necessary. Be it a grudge, a failed relationship, or even an old pair of jeans that doesn’t fit anymore. But as we mature, we begin to understand the importance of letting go.

From my personal experience, one of the hardest, yet most liberating lessons in life is learning to let go. The past can often be a heavy load to carry, and holding onto it can prevent us from moving forward.

Buddhist monk and peace activist Thich Nhat Hanh once said, “Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything – anger, anxiety, or possessions – we cannot be free.”

This wisdom aligns perfectly with the principles of mindfulness. It’s about being present in the moment and not allowing past regrets or future anxieties to steal our peace.

If you find yourself able to let go of the things that no longer serve you or bring you joy, it’s a clear sign of your maturity. It shows that you’ve learned one of life’s most valuable lessons: not everything is meant to stay.

3) You understand the impermanence of everything

There’s a certain comfort in believing that things will remain the same. It’s why we fear change and cling to stability. But life, as you might have observed, is anything but static. Everything changes – people, situations, feelings, and even you.

This might seem unsettling at first, but it’s actually a fundamental truth that Buddhism teaches. It’s the concept of “anicca” or impermanence – the idea that all things, including the self, are changing and impermanent.

This awareness of impermanence can stir up fear or anxiety in some. However, with maturity comes acceptance. You begin to understand that change is not only inevitable but necessary for growth.

Accepting the transitory nature of everything can be liberating. It helps you to let go of unrealistic expectations and to live more fully in the present moment. It allows you to appreciate what you have while you have it and to make peace with the fact that nothing lasts forever.

If you’re at a point where you’ve embraced the impermanence of life, it’s a strong indication of your maturity. It means you’ve understood one of the most profound truths of existence.

4) You’re comfortable with stillness

In today’s fast-paced world, we’re often rushing from one task to the next, barely taking a moment to breathe. We’re constantly bombarded with noise and distractions, and silence can feel uncomfortable, even frightening.

Yet, as we mature, we begin to appreciate the value of stillness. We understand that it’s in these quiet moments that we can truly connect with ourselves.

This is a key aspect of mindfulness. It’s about slowing down, paying attention, and being fully present in the moment. It’s about embracing silence instead of filling it with unnecessary noise.

If you’ve reached a point where you can sit quietly without feeling the need to check your phone or switch on the TV, you’ve come a long way. You’ve learned to be at peace with your own company and to appreciate the beauty of simply being.

This ability to embrace stillness is a definite sign of maturity. It shows that you’re comfortable with yourself and that you value the peace that comes from being fully present.

5) You live with minimum ego

The ego can be a tricky thing. It pushes us to prove ourselves, to be better than others, to always be right. But as we mature, we realize that our ego often stands in the way of genuine happiness and growth.

You see, ego is all about ‘I’ and ‘me’. It’s about protecting our self-image and maintaining a façade. But life isn’t a competition, and people aren’t adversaries to be outdone.

In my own journey, I’ve found that living with minimum ego has made a world of difference. It’s not about being self-deprecating or letting others walk all over you. It’s about understanding that we’re all interconnected and that every individual has their own worth.

This is a concept I delve into in my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego. The title itself is pretty self-explanatory, isn’t it?

Maturity means recognizing that life is not about satisfying our ego, but about creating meaningful connections and growing as a person.

If you notice yourself stepping away from ego-driven behaviors, it’s a clear sign of your maturity. It shows that you’re ready to live with authenticity and humility, which is truly liberating.

6) You accept that suffering is a part of life

Nobody likes to suffer. We all strive for happiness, comfort, and ease. But life, as you know, isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. There are storms, too.

As we mature, we come to understand that suffering is a part of life. It’s not something we can completely avoid or run away from. This might sound harsh, but it’s a fundamental truth acknowledged in Buddhism – the concept of “dukkha” or suffering.

However, this doesn’t mean we’re doomed to a life of perpetual sorrow. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Recognizing that suffering exists allows us to better appreciate the moments of joy and happiness. Moreover, it motivates us to seek ways to alleviate our own suffering and that of others.

This understanding forms the basis of mindfulness practices. It’s about acknowledging our pain and discomfort without judgement or resistance and learning to cope with life’s ups and downs.

If you’re at a stage where you can accept suffering as a part of life’s journey and still find joy, it’s a clear sign of your maturity. It shows you’ve learned to navigate the complex landscape of human emotions and experiences.

7) You practice compassion and kindness

It’s easy to be kind when everything’s going well, or when people are kind to us. But it’s during the challenging times or when faced with difficult people that our true character is revealed.

As we mature, we begin to understand the importance of practicing compassion and kindness, not just towards others, but towards ourselves as well.

Buddhist monk and teacher Pema Chödrön once said, “Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals.”

This quote beautifully encapsulates the essence of true compassion – it’s about recognizing the shared human experience and extending empathy and kindness without any expectation of something in return.

Mindfulness nurtures this sense of compassion. It helps us to acknowledge our own pain and suffering, which in turn allows us to be more understanding of others.

If you find yourself acting with genuine kindness and compassion, even when it’s difficult or uncomfortable, it’s a clear sign of your maturity. It shows you’ve developed a deep sense of empathy and understand the interconnectedness of all beings.

8) You’re okay with not knowing everything

In a world where information is just a click away, admitting that you don’t know something can feel uncomfortable, even embarrassing. We often equate knowledge with power and success, and thus, we strive to know it all.

But here’s the counterintuitive truth: maturity comes with recognizing that you don’t – and can’t – know everything.

Mindfulness teaches us to be comfortable with uncertainty. It encourages us to embrace the unknown instead of resisting it. After all, life is a continuous journey of learning and discovery.

This acceptance of not knowing allows us to keep an open mind. It fosters curiosity and encourages us to ask questions, seek new experiences, and learn from others.

So if you’re okay with saying “I don’t know” and see it as an opportunity to learn rather than a sign of weakness, it’s a clear indication of your maturity. It shows that you’ve embraced humility and are open to the endless possibilities that life has to offer.

Conclusion

Maturity is a journey, not a destination. It’s about growing and evolving as a person, understanding and accepting yourself and others, and learning to navigate the complexities of life with grace, compassion, and wisdom.

These signs are indicative of a mature person, but remember, we’re all works in progress. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you’re still working on some of these aspects.

In my book Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delve deeper into topics like mindfulness, ego, and the Buddhist approach to living life fully. If you found this article valuable and want to continue this journey towards self-growth, I encourage you to check it out.

Remember, maturity is not about being perfect. It’s about acknowledging your imperfections and still choosing to be the best version of yourself every day. So keep growing, keep learning, and keep striving for a more mindful and meaningful life.

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