10 signs someone is in love but won’t admit it, according to psychology

Isabella Chase by Isabella Chase | May 3, 2024, 9:21 pm

When you notice someone constantly showing up in your notifications, or they seem to remember every little detail about your last conversation, you might start to wonder if they’re in love with you.

But love isn’t always that easy to spot.

In this article, we’ll explore these subtle signs and how you can decipher them.

Signs of hidden love

Below is a list of signs that could indicate someone is in love but isn’t admitting it:

1. Constant attention: They seem to always be around and are interested in your day-to-day activities.
2. Good memory of your conversations: They remember small details from your conversations, showing they are genuinely interested in you.
3. Acts of kindness: They often do small, thoughtful things for you, which may seem like just being friendly.
4. Physical contact: They find reasons to touch you, even if it’s just a pat on the back or brushing against you.
5. Protective behavior: They show concern for your safety and well-being.
6. Frequent eye contact: They maintain eye contact with you more than usual.
7. Nervousness around you: They may seem anxious or fidgety around you due to their hidden feelings.
8. Jealousy: They might show signs of jealousy when you talk about other people in your life.
9. They show up at events where they know you’ll be: they want to spend more time with you.

Remember, these signs can also be displayed by good friends. The key difference lies in the intensity and frequency of these behaviors.

Because, as with all emotional states, there are varying degrees of unexpressed love.

In some settings, such as casual hangouts or group situations, a person in love might seem completely normal and composed.

However, in more intimate settings or events that stir emotions, they may display more signs of their hidden feelings.

Understanding these signs can give context to the relationship and dynamics you share with this person.

It may not necessarily mean they’re in love, but it does show that they have deep feelings for you.

In the following sections, we’ll delve deeper into these signs and provide tips on how to recognize and handle them.

1) Frequent attention

A clear sign of someone secretly in love is their consistent attention towards you.

They may seem to always be around, initiating conversations, and showing interest in your day-to-day activities.

This person values your company and is genuinely interested in your life, even in the mundane details.

This attention often goes beyond the norm of casual friendships, indicating deeper feelings they might not be openly admitting.

2) The halo effect

In psychology, there’s a concept called the ‘Halo Effect’.

This is when one positive quality of a person overshadows their other characteristics, leading us to perceive them in an overall more positive light.

When someone is secretly in love, they often exhibit this effect towards the person they’re attracted to.

They focus on your good qualities, often overlooking or downplaying your flaws.

This means they might compliment you frequently, express admiration for your talents or achievements, and defend you staunchly in the face of criticism.

It’s as if there’s a ‘halo’ around you in their eyes.

3) Physical contact

Another clear sign is an increase in physical contact.

They might frequently touch you in non-intrusive ways such as gentle pats, brushing against you, or hugging.

These subtle actions can often indicate their desire for closeness and connection.

4) Indifference

Surprisingly, someone in love might act indifferent towards you. They might downplay their interest, avoid emotional conversations, or even seem disinterested.

This behavior often stems from a fear of rejection or the vulnerability that comes with expressing feelings.

It’s their way of protecting themselves while grappling with their emotions.

5) Jealousy

Jealousy might rear its head if they’re in love but not admitting it. It’s an instinctive response to the fear of losing someone we deeply care about.

That’s why someone who’s secretly in love with you may show signs of discomfort or change in mood when you talk about other people, especially those who you’re close with.

It’s not the healthiest sign, and it’s wrapped in layers of complexity, but it’s a reaction that often indicates unspoken feelings.

6) Acts of kindness

Someone secretly in love might often commit acts of kindness towards you.

They’ll go out of their way to help you, be there for you when you’re down, or do things to make your life easier.

These actions, big or small, are their silent way of expressing their affection.

It’s their kindness shining through, a testament to the empathy and warmth they feel for you, even if they can’t put it into words.

7) Good listener

We’ve all been in those conversations where it feels like we’re talking to a wall.

But when someone is secretly in love, they’re the exact opposite.

They remember details from your past conversations, ask follow-up questions about your day, and show genuine interest in what you have to say.

It’s those “You remember that?” moments that make you feel seen and heard, and often, they’re signs of unexpressed love.

8) Teasing and playfulness

Remember those schoolyard crushes where teasing was the primary mode of communication?

Well, some things don’t change with age.

Someone secretly in love might resort to light-hearted teasing and playful banter as a safe way to connect.

It’s their way of keeping the interaction fun and relaxed, while also creating a special bond with you.

So if they’re always cracking jokes around you or playfully teasing, it might be a sign they’re smitten.

9) Avoidance of love topics

If someone is in love but can’t admit it, they might intentionally steer clear of topics related to love and relationships when you’re around.

They may fear that such conversations might reveal their true feelings.

It’s a kind of self-preservation—by avoiding these topics, they’re trying to protect themselves from potential hurt or rejection.

It’s tough love, for sure but recognizing this sign can help you understand the depth of their unspoken emotions.

10) Consistency

Above all, the most crucial sign is consistency.

Anyone can show one or two of these signs on any given day. But if someone consistently exhibits many of these behaviors over time, it’s a strong indication they harbor deep feelings for you.

Remember, actions speak louder than words, and consistent care, attention, and respect are often the most truthful expressions of unspoken love.

Reflecting on unexpressed love

If you’ve noticed these signs in someone close to you, you might be dealing with someone who is secretly in love with you.

As they say, love is cultivated during the grind of everyday life. It’s in the small gestures, the consistent care, and the shared moments that love often reveals itself. It’s not always grand declarations or dramatic gestures.

This can be challenging to navigate. The person may not be ready to openly acknowledge their feelings, either due to fear of rejection or their emotional readiness, so it’s important to approach this situation with kindness and understanding.

But here’s something to remember: you cannot force someone to admit their feelings, just as no one can force you to reciprocate them. Love is a deeply personal experience that varies from person to person.

Remember that this article isn’t meant to provide a foolproof guide to reading someone’s emotions. Instead, it aims to offer insights into some behaviors that could signal unexpressed love.

Ultimately, open communication is key. If you feel comfortable doing so, consider openly discussing your observations and feelings with the person in question.

Finally, remember that recognizing and understanding these signs is just the beginning of the journey.

The path ahead may be filled with revelations and emotions, but it’s all part of being human.