8 signs someone close to you is a bad influence, according to psychology

Tara Whitmore by Tara Whitmore | October 31, 2024, 7:03 pm

Imagine this: You’re trying to stick to a healthy lifestyle, but every time your friend comes over, you end up binge-watching TV and ordering fast food.

Or perhaps you’ve made a financial plan, but a close family member keeps encouraging you to splurge irresponsibly.

In these cases, the negative impact of others isn’t always obvious at first.

However, repeated behaviors like these can have long-term effects on your self-control and overall well-being.

Could someone in your life be a bad influence?

These 8 signs can help you figure it out.

1) They consistently encourage poor decisions

We all make mistakes and sometimes, a bad decision could just be a misstep.

However, if someone close to you consistently encourages you to make poor choices, it could be a sign they’re a bad influence.

For instance, let’s say you’ve decided to start eating healthier. But every time you’re with this person, they try to persuade you to indulge in junk food, even after you’ve expressed your commitment to your new diet.

Or maybe you’re trying to save money, but this individual always convinces you to splurge on unnecessary items.

This kind of behavior shows a lack of respect for your personal goals.

This isn’t about the occasional lapse – we all have moments of weakness. It’s about a pattern of behavior that consistently undermines your efforts to better yourself.

Spotting this sign is the first step towards addressing the issue and ensuring that your relationships support your personal growth.

2) They’re always the victim

This may seem strange because a bad influence is often portrayed as someone who is domineering or controlling. But another indication of a negative influence can be a person who consistently casts themselves as the victim.

If someone close to you always seems to be at the mercy of others, constantly embroiled in drama, or never takes responsibility for their actions, it could be a sign they’re a bad influence.

This kind of behavior can, over time, impact your own perception of events and situations. You may find yourself always taking their side, defending them, or even adopting a victim mentality yourself.

It’s healthy to empathize with people in difficult situations, but there’s a difference between offering support and being drawn into a never-ending cycle of victimhood.

The latter can drain your emotional energy and prevent you from focusing on your own growth and happiness.

3) They’re constantly negative

Positivity and negativity are contagious. That’s not just a saying, it’s actually backed by research.

A study found that emotions can be transferred from one person to another, a phenomenon known as emotional contagion.

Now, imagine someone close to you is constantly negative, complaining about everything, and rarely seeing the bright side. With time, you may find that your own outlook starts to shift towards the negative as well.

Ever noticed how you feel drained or down after spending time with this person? That’s your emotional state being influenced. A constant stream of negativity can affect your mood, your mindset, and even your physical health.

It’s normal for everyone to have bad days or go through tough times.

But if negativity is their default state, it could be a sign they’re a bad influence on your life.

4) They don’t respect your boundaries

We all have our own personal space, both physically and emotionally, that we need others to respect. These boundaries are necessary for maintaining our self-esteem, personal growth, and overall wellbeing.

If someone close to you constantly disregards your boundaries, it can be a sign they’re a bad influence. Maybe they ignore your requests for alone time, dismiss your feelings, or make you uncomfortable with their actions.

Everyone makes mistakes and may unknowingly cross a boundary from time to time. But if it’s a repeated pattern, and especially if they react poorly when you bring it up, then it’s something more serious.

Protect your boundaries. It doesn’t make you selfish or unkind. You’re simply looking after your own emotional health—and there’s nothing wrong with that.

5) They’re not supportive of your goals

We all have dreams, ambitions, and goals that we strive to achieve.

It could be something big like starting your own business, or something small like wanting to read more books.

Whatever it is, the people close to us often play a key role in our journey towards these goals.

Now, imagine if someone close to you constantly belittles your ambitions or seems uninterested every time you share your progress. It’s like sharing exciting news with them, only to be met with indifference or negativity.

A lack of support can be disheartening and demotivating. Over time, it may even lead you to question the validity of your own goals.

This kind of behavior can have a significant impact on your self-esteem and your drive to achieve.

6) They’re overly competitive

Competition can be healthy. It can push us to perform better and achieve more. But when it starts to overshadow everything else, it can become a problem.

Think about a friend who always seems to turn everything into a competition. For example, you share that you’ve started jogging and suddenly they’re training for a marathon.

Or you mention a promotion at work and they immediately counter with their own career achievements.

In this constant one-upmanship, the focus shifts from celebrating each other’s success to constantly trying to outdo one another. 

7) They never apologize

We all mess up sometimes. It’s part of being human. What matters is our ability to recognize our mistakes, apologize, and try to rectify them.

If someone close to you rarely or never apologizes, it’s a red flag.

Whether it’s a minor misunderstanding or a major disagreement, their inability to say “I’m sorry” shows a lack of accountability and humility.

This isn’t about keeping score of apologies.

It’s about acknowledging when we’ve hurt or wronged someone and making amends. If they can’t do that, it can lead to resentment and strain in your relationship.

8) Your gut tells you something’s off

Sometimes, you might not be able to pinpoint exactly what’s wrong, but you just have a gut feeling that something’s not right.

This instinctual feeling is a powerful tool that shouldn’t be overlooked.

Maybe you feel uneasy around them or notice your mood drops after spending time with them.

These subtle feelings are your intuition telling you that this person might not be the best influence on your life.

At the end of the day, if someone close to you doesn’t feel like a positive influence, it might be time to reassess that relationship.

Final thoughts

Identifying the signs of a negative influence is essential for maintaining healthy relationships and fostering personal growth.

If someone consistently undermines your decisions, disrespects your boundaries, or fails to support your ambitions, it may be time to reevaluate that connection.

Healthy relationships should encourage mutual respect and support, allowing you to thrive.

By prioritizing your emotional well-being and surrounding yourself with positive influences, you can create a more fulfilling and balanced life.