10 behaviors you should never tolerate from a friend (no matter how long you’ve known )

Isabella Chase by Isabella Chase | December 19, 2024, 2:33 pm

Navigating friendships can sometimes feel like walking a tightrope. There’s a delicate balance between accepting our friends as they are and acknowledging when certain behaviors cross the line.

In a perfect world, we’d all have friends who are always kind, respectful, and considerate. But let’s face it, none of us are perfect. And while some slip-ups can be forgiven, there are certain behaviors that are just not okay. 

Tolerating certain behaviors from a friend, no matter how long you’ve known them, might actually mean you’re allowing them to disrespect you.

Understanding where to draw the line can be tough. But hey, that’s where I come in. I’m here to help you identify 10 behaviors that you should never tolerate, regardless of the length of your friendship.

If these behaviors sound familiar, it might be time to reevaluate some of your relationships.

1) Dishonesty

Honesty is the cornerstone of any meaningful relationship, friendships included.

We all tell little white lies from time to time, whether it’s to spare feelings or avoid awkwardness. But there’s a big difference between these minor fibs and persistent dishonesty.

If you notice that your friend consistently lies to you, it’s a red flag. It might be about small things at first, but these can escalate into bigger issues over time.

Remember, trust is hard to earn and easy to lose. A friend who cannot be honest with you is not respecting your relationship. And no matter how long you’ve known them, this is a behavior you should never tolerate.

It’s tough, but sometimes it’s necessary to confront them about their dishonest behavior or even reconsider the friendship entirely. After all, you deserve friends who respect you enough to be truthful.

2) Lack of support

Friendship is a two-way street. A friend should be your cheerleader, someone who supports you through thick and thin.

“A friend in need is a friend indeed.” A true friend is someone who not only celebrates your wins or encourage your dreams, but also offers you support during tough times, a shoulder to lean on and a listening ear.

It’s in these moments that genuine friendship shines.

However, if you find that a friend is consistently absent or dismissive when you’re going through a difficult period, it’s a behavior worth addressing. A friend who only sticks around for the good times isn’t truly a friend at all.

Being supportive doesn’t mean they have to solve your problems, but showing empathy and understanding can go a long way. A true friend will be there to lift you up, not bring you down. 

If your friend can’t provide this, it might be time to evaluate the friendship.

3) Constant negativity

We all have bad days. But when a friend is perpetually negative, it can start to take a toll on your own mood and mental health.

Studies have shown that emotions can be contagious, a phenomenon known as emotional contagion.

This means that if you’re constantly around someone who’s negative, their mood can rub off on you, potentially making you feel more negative as well.

Continuous exposure to negativity can drain your energy and even affect your own outlook on life.

A friend who constantly complains, criticizes or sees the worst in everything can have a detrimental effects on your mental and emotional well-being.

It’s important to surround yourself with positivity and people who inspire you to be better.

If a friend is always bringing you down with their pessimistic attitude, it’s time to talk about it.  

Your well-being should always be a priority. If they’re unwilling to change, it might be best for your own well-being to distance yourself from their constant negativity

4) Disrespectful behavior

One of the fundamental pillars of any friendship is respect. Without it, a relationship can quickly turn toxic.

Respect in a friendship means valuing each other’s opinions, time, and boundaries. It means being considerate and showing kindness, even during disagreements.

We all have our bad days and occasional slip-ups, but continuous disrespectful behavior is a serious red flag.

It’s something that should never be overlooked or brushed off, no matter how long you’ve known someone.

If your friend consistently disrespects you – whether through their words or actions, it’s a clear sign that the person doesn’t value you or your feelings.

This could manifest as them constantly belittling your achievements, making derogatory comments, or consistently ignoring your boundaries.

So, if a friend shows a consistent pattern of disrespect towards you, it’s crucial to address the issue head-on. If they continue to disregard your feelings, it may be time to reconsider the friendship.

Remember, everyone deserves respect, and no length of friendship gives anyone the right to treat you otherwise.

5) One-sided efforts

Friendships, like any relationship, require effort from both sides to thrive.

If you’re the only one reaching out, making plans, and putting in the effort to maintain the friendship, it can feel draining and unfulfilling. This one-sided dynamic is not a sign of a healthy friendship.

Friendship should be a two-way street. Both parties should be equally invested in maintaining the relationship and making sure it grows.

If you find yourself in a one-sided friendship, it may be time to have a conversation about the imbalance.

If things don’t change, you might have to reevaluate whether this friendship is worth your time and effort. After all, you deserve to be in friendships where your efforts are reciprocated.

6) Manipulation

Manipulation is perhaps one of the most harmful behaviors to tolerate in a friend. It’s subtle, destructive, and can leave you questioning your own feelings and instincts.

Manipulators use tactics like guilt-tripping, gaslighting, and playing the victim to control others.

If you ever feel like you’re walking on eggshells around a friend, or they’re using your emotions against you, it could be a sign of manipulation.

No one deserves to be manipulated. Stand up for yourself and set clear boundaries.

If the behavior continues, it might be necessary to end the friendship for your own well-being. Remember, true friends treat each other with respect, kindness, and honesty.

7) Breach of trust

Trust, once broken, is incredibly hard to rebuild. It’s the backbone of any friendship and when it’s violated, it can leave deep scars.

Maybe they shared a secret you confided in them, or perhaps they betrayed you in a way that shook your trust. These actions can cause irreparable damage to the friendship.

It’s heartbreaking when someone you’ve trusted and cared for betrays that trust. It can make you question the entire foundation of your friendship.

It’s important to remember that everyone makes mistakes and people can change. But repeated breaches of trust should never be overlooked or tolerated.

If a friend has broken your trust, it might be time for a heart-to-heart conversation about how their actions affected you.

If they’re unwilling to acknowledge their mistake and make amends, it could be a sign that the friendship is not as valued as it should be. Trust is precious; don’t let anyone take it for granted.

8) Constant criticism

Constructive criticism can be beneficial in a friendship, helping us grow and improve. But when criticism becomes frequent, harsh, or personal, it’s no longer constructive—it’s destructive.

A friend who constantly criticizes you, your choices, or your lifestyle can seriously damage your self-esteem and confidence. Friendships should uplift you, not bring you down.

If you have a friend who’s overly critical, it’s important to address the issue. If they’re not willing to change their behavior, it may be best to distance yourself from their negativity. You deserve friends who support and encourage you, not ones who consistently tear you down.

9) Unhealthy competition

A little friendly competition can be fun and even beneficial in a friendship. But when it becomes a constant, one-upping game, it can be harmful and exhausting.

If your friend always tries to outdo you, whether it’s about achievements, possessions, or experiences, it can create a toxic environment. Instead of celebrating each other’s successes, you might feel like you’re constantly in a race.

Healthy friendships are about mutual respect and support, not competition. So if you find yourself in a constant battle you didn’t sign up for, it’s important to pay attention to the issue.

You deserve to have friends who are genuinely happy for you and your accomplishments, not ones who see them as a challenge.

10) Emotional abuse

This is the big one. Emotional abuse in any form should never, under any circumstances, be tolerated in a friendship.

Emotional abuse can come in many forms – constant criticism, humiliation, manipulation, or belittling your feelings. It’s damaging and can leave lasting impacts on your mental and emotional health.

The most important thing to remember is that you deserve respect, kindness, and love in all your relationships.

Don’t lower your standards for anyone. If you’re being emotionally abused, it’s time to stand up for yourself and possibly end the friendship.

Remember: it’s better to be alone than in bad company.

Final thoughts: It’s about respect

When it comes down to it, the foundation of any healthy friendship is respect. Respect for each other’s feelings, boundaries, and individuality.

Maya Angelou once said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” This powerful quote holds true in friendships as well.

If a friend consistently makes you feel less valued, disrespected, or disregarded, it’s important to acknowledge these feelings. Ignoring them won’t make the problem go away.

Remember that it’s okay to let go of friendships that are no longer serving you positively. You deserve to be surrounded by people who respect and value you for who you are.

Reflect on your friendships, consider their impact on your life, and never be afraid to stand up for yourself. After all, true friends lift each other up. They don’t drag each other down.