Navigating the world of dating can be a minefield, especially in a society drenched in mixed signals and unclear intentions.

If you’re like me, you’ve probably found yourself questioning a guy’s true feelings more than once.

Is he really into you, or is he just using you to inflate his ego?

Sometimes, the line between genuine interest and self-serving manipulation can be blurrier than we’d like to admit.

Sound familiar? If it does, keep reading!

1) He’s only around when it’s convenient for him

A big red flag that a guy is using you for an ego boost is if he’s only around when it suits him.

He seems to magically appear when he’s feeling down or needs reassurance, but is nowhere to be found when you’re the one needing support.

This type of behavior is a clear indication that he’s not genuinely interested in you, but rather, he’s using your attention to feed his ego.

Sadly, his inconsistency can often be mistaken for interest because he shows up at random times, always leaving you wanting more.

But the truth is, he’s not really into you.

He values the validation and confidence boost you provide him, not your companionship.

2) He’s overly charming, but only in public

In my previous relationship, I dated a guy who was incredibly charming.

He always knew the right things to say and made me feel special. But there was a catch – he was only like this in public.

We would go out, and he would be so attentive, complimenting me and making me feel like the only person in the room.

But as soon as we were alone, his interest seemed to fade.

It took me some time to realize that his charm wasn’t making me feel special; but only making himself look good.

He loved the attention he got when other people saw him being the perfect boyfriend.

3) He rarely initiates contact

Interestingly, research from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships suggests that people who are genuinely interested in their romantic partners tend to initiate contact more often.

If you’re the one always making the first move—whether it’s calling, texting, or arranging to meet up—it could be a sign that he’s not as invested in the relationship as you are.

A guy who truly likes you will want to reach out and communicate because he’s interested in your life and wants to be a part of it.

But if he’s only responding when you reach out and rarely initiates conversation himself, it could be an indication that he’s not really into you—he’s just enjoying the attention you’re giving him and using it as a way to boost his ego.

4) He avoids deeper conversations

Conversations between you two are always light and surface-level. He seems to avoid discussing anything too deep or meaningful.

You’ve tried to initiate deeper discussions about your dreams, fears, or beliefs, but he quickly changes the topic back to something less serious.

This could be a sign that he’s not genuinely interested in getting to know you on a deeper level.

Instead, he’s more focused on keeping things casual and non-committal.

5) He only compliments your looks

It’s nice to be complimented on your appearance, but if that’s all he ever comments on, it might be a sign he’s not genuinely into you.

He tells you how pretty you are, how great your body looks, but never acknowledges your intelligence, your kindness, or the unique qualities that make you who you are.

This can leave you feeling like a prized object rather than a valued person in his life.

It’s as if he’s more interested in the boost he gets from being seen with a beautiful woman than in truly appreciating you for who you are.

6) He’s not there for you when you need him

We all have moments when we need a shoulder to lean on, someone to listen, or just simply be there for us.

In these moments, it becomes apparent who genuinely cares for us.

If he’s always busy or unavailable when you’re going through a tough time, it’s a sign he may not be genuinely interested in you.

7) He keeps you a secret

Ever been in a situation where you’ve been seeing someone for a while, but none of his friends or family know about you?

It’s as if you exist in a bubble that only includes him.

He might have all sorts of excuses: he’s private, his friends are judgmental, or he just doesn’t like to mix different parts of his life.

But the truth is, if a guy truly likes you, he’ll want to share his life with you—and that includes introducing you to his friends and family.

Being kept a secret can make you feel undervalued and unimportant. It’s a relatable feeling that many of us have experienced.

8) He doesn’t remember the little things

You’ve told him your favorite color, your go-to coffee order, and about your weird obsession with collecting novelty socks.

But somehow, he never seems to remember these details.

If a guy really likes you, he’ll remember these small details because they matter to him, too.

Not because he’s got a superhuman memory—it’s simply because you matter to him.

So, if he regularly forgets the small things, don’t be hard on yourself.

It’s not because your sock collection isn’t impressive—it’s just a sign that he doesn’t really like you and is only using you for an ego boost.

9) He never plans for the future

If every plan you make is last minute or only for the immediate future, it may be time for a reality check.

A guy who is genuinely interested in you will want to plan for a future that includes you.

But if he’s hesitating to make plans for next week, let alone next month, he’s sending you a clear message: he doesn’t see a long-term future with you.

10) His actions don’t match his words

At the end of the day, actions truly do speak louder than words.

He can tell you all the sweet nothings in the world, but if his actions don’t match up, it’s a sign he’s using you for an ego boost.

If he tells you he likes you but doesn’t show it, or promises to spend time with you but always cancels, then his words are just that—words.

They’re empty and meaningless if his actions don’t reflect them.

Final thoughts

Navigating the dating world is never straightforward.

There will be times when you question a guy’s motives or doubt his authenticity.

It’s easy to be swept up in the charm and attention, but look out for these signs—he might not really like you, he might just be using you for an ego boost.

But don’t let this dishearten you.

Know your worth, and remember that you deserve someone who genuinely values and appreciates you for who you are—not just for the boost to their ego.

So if you’re seeing these signs in someone, don’t fret—it’s a reflection of them, not you.

It’s their loss if they can’t see the wonderful person you truly are.

Only those who are willing to treat you with genuine respect and affection deserve a place in your life!