9 signs a man is falling in love with you, according to psychology
We all know men aren’t the most demonstrative when it comes to their feelings.
That’s a generalization, so it isn’t always true. But there’s no denying that there are lots of men out there who, for various reasons, are uncomfortable sharing their feelings.
And often, the deeper that feeling goes, the less comfortable they feel talking about it.
That makes it hard for many men to admit when they are falling in love – sometimes even to themselves.
But there are some signs to look out for that may show that a man is falling in love with you. These psychological signs can reveal a man’s true feelings, even if he has a hard time expressing them.
1) He pays increased attention to you
One of the first and most obvious signs that a man is falling for you is that he starts paying more attention to you.
This is something you may notice before you begin an actual relationship with him. Whether you have met through mutual friends, at work, or in some other environment, you may notice that he pays more attention to you than he does to other people.
He will be genuinely interested in your life and in your thoughts in a way that he just isn’t with others.
Check out this paper on sexual attraction in mammals, which defines attraction as “characterized by increased energy and focused attention on one or more potential mates, accompanied in humans by feelings of exhilaration, “intrusive thinking” about a mate, and the craving for emotional union with this mate or potential mate.”
Phrased like that, it may not sound all that romantic. But it’s true that when we are interested in someone, we pay more attention to them.
2) He makes prolonged eye contact with you
You’ve probably heard that eyes are the windows to the soul. Whether that’s true or not, there’s no denying that the eyes are a crucial factor that can tell you if someone is falling for you or not.
As this study shows, eye contact is key to establishing and building a romantic connection between two people.
And if a guy makes eye contact with you more than he does with other people, you may notice an even more telling sign that he is interested in you.
When we look at someone we are falling for, our pupils dilate, or get bigger. It’s not currently known exactly why this happens, but it may be a sign of someone paying an increased level of attention to another person.
And because this is a completely involuntary body reflex, it’s more or less impossible to hide.
3) He wants to be near you
We want to be near the people we like the most. Makes sense, doesn’t it?
So if a man goes out of his way to spend time around you, consider the possibility that he’s falling for you.
According to dating expert Celia Schweyer, a man who is falling for you “will always look for different ways to keep you interested in going out like to go have dinner together, watch a movie, or try that new pub he saw. It will always be a new thing every day just to have a moment with you.”
This is one of the more obvious signs that the guy is falling in love. At the same time, it can just be a sign of friendliness rather than romantic interest.
But if you notice it combined with some of the other signs on this list, there’s a good chance that this guy has feelings for you.
4) He is emotionally vulnerable with you
This is even more important. And usually, depending on the guy, this starts to happen once you’ve already established some kind of relationship.
As I mentioned in the introduction, as a general rule, most guys are quite guarded when it comes to sharing their feelings. Many men are discouraged from being emotional from an early age, and so they never develop the ability to be open with most people.
Often, this means that men rely more heavily on people they are intimate with than women do, since they are more likely to share their emotions with friends and relatives as well as romantic partners.
In other words, if a man is willing to share his deepest thoughts and feelings with you, it means he trusts you.
“The ability to expose ourselves to another and trust that our partner will still accept an unfiltered version of us may be the most challenging task for men,” writes psychologist Isaiah Pickens. “Vulnerability represents a core element in any healthy, long-term relationship.”
Emotional vulnerability is the key to a happy relationship, but for many men, it doesn’t come easily. So if a guy opens up about his feelings, take it as a major sign that he trusts you and has strong feelings for you.
5) He is reliable
This can be a tricky one to spot, because sometimes, it’s just part of a man’s normal personality.
But men want to please the people they love. That means they will be consistent and reliable in their behavior toward them.
They will show up when they say they are going to. They will be there for the person they have feelings for.
The best way to spot this is if he is more reliable and consistent for you than he is for other people. That’s a sign that he has deeper feelings for you than just friendship.
6) He does things for you
Let’s talk a little bit about the five love languages.
This is a concept developed by psychologist Gary Chapman to classify the different ways people have of showing love and affection toward each other.
Chapman’s love languages are:
- Giftgiving
- Spending quality time
- Physical touch
- Words of affirmation
- Acts of service
Now, at different times, everyone may use all of these love languages to communicate affection to each other. But interestingly, there are some gender-based differences in how people show love for each other.
While acts of service don’t seem to be the primary love language for either men or women, some studies have found that acts of service seem to be more important to men.
In other words, for men in love, actions speak louder than words.
Instead of talking about his feelings for you, a man may show it by doing things for you. Whether it’s little things like fetching your coffee or big things like helping you move, these acts of service indicate a man who is falling for you.
7) He tries to include you in his life
If a guy is falling for you, he wants you to be part of his life. That’s why he may make big efforts to include you in the things that mean most to him.
It could be hobbies that he invites you to participate in. It could be hanging out with his friends, or even meeting his family. The more important that aspect of his life is to him, the bigger a sign it is of his deep feelings.
As this article in marriage.com states, “Have you met his parents, siblings, and other close friends? That may be his way of telling you that he sees himself committing to something bigger with you.”
8) He is protective toward you
Most men have a strong urge to protect the people they love. Whether this comes from nature or from nurture is up for debate, but it’s something you will often notice in the men around you.
And it can be a powerful sign that a man is in love with you.
This can show itself in little ways, like waiting to make sure your car starts after you say goodbye or seeing you home. Or maybe he stands up for you when others criticize you, or checks in with you after you’ve been out to make sure you’re safe.
It’s important to draw a distinction between being protective and being controlling. True protective behavior is designed to keep you safe in a sometimes dangerous world, but it does not try to control what you do, where you go, or who you spend time with.
9) He will sacrifice for you
Finally, one of the biggest signs that a man is falling in love with you is that he will become willing to sacrifice for you.
That doesn’t mean he needs to throw himself into a volcano. Instead, it means that he puts your needs before his own and is willing to give up something he wants to make you happy.
It can be something as seemingly trivial as the last donut. Or it can be something big, like a willingness to change his job or where he lives to be closer to you.
Signs of a man in love
It can be hard to know how a man feels about you – especially if he won’t come out and tell you. But psychology shows that these signs can reveal his true feelings.
Keep an eye out for these signs that can tell you that a man is falling in love with you.