7 simple but effective ways to show a toxic person you won’t play their psychological games

Ethan Sterling by Ethan Sterling | July 25, 2024, 10:01 am

Navigating relationships can be tough, especially when you’re dealing with a toxic person.

They often resort to mind games that keep you on edge, losing your sense of self in the process.

The key is setting boundaries and showing them you won’t entertain their psychological games.

And trust me, it’s simpler than it sounds.

There are some straightforward but effective ways to do this, without stooping to their level or losing your peace of mind.

In this article, I’ll share some strategies that could be your game changer. Let’s dive in!

1) Assert your boundaries

Dealing with a toxic person often feels like a battlefield, where you’re constantly on the defensive.

But here’s the thing – it doesn’t have to be this way.

Establishing clear boundaries is your first line of defense.

It’s about understanding and declaring what you will and won’t accept from these individuals.

It’s like drawing a line in the sand, a line that signals: “This far and no further.” It’s about taking control of your personal space, your feelings, and your peace of mind.

When a toxic person realizes that you’re not just going to let them overstep your boundaries, they might try harder initially.

They may push back or resort to guilt-tripping. But stay firm, my friend.

2) Choose your battles wisely

Let me share a personal experience. I once had a co-worker, let’s call him Bob.

Bob was the textbook definition of a toxic person – constantly negative, always stirring up drama, and perpetually trying to drag others into his web of chaos.

There was this one incident where Bob decided to pick a fight over a minor issue.

I could’ve retaliated, arguing back and forth, but I chose not to.

Not because I couldn’t, but because I knew it wasn’t worth it.

Choosing your battles wisely is crucial when dealing with toxic people.

Not every disagreement needs to turn into an argument, and not every comment warrants a response.

By refusing to participate in Bob’s unnecessary drama, I showed him that I was not going to play his psychological games.

It didn’t stop him from being toxic, but it did keep me from getting sucked into his negativity.

Your energy is precious. Don’t waste it on unwinnable or meaningless battles.

Sometimes, the best response is silence, and the most powerful statement is saying nothing at all.

3) Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness is more than just a buzzword.

It’s a powerful tool that can help you navigate through the storms of toxicity.

It’s about being present in the moment, aware of your thoughts, feelings, and reactions, without judgment.

Rather than being swept up in the drama, you’re able to observe it from a distance.

Studies have shown that mindfulness can actually alter the structure of your brain.

Regular practice can increase the density of the prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain responsible for executive functions like decision making and emotional regulation.

By practicing mindfulness, you can become more aware of how you’re reacting to a toxic person’s behavior.

You can catch yourself before you get swept up in their games, and choose a different response.

4) Maintain a positive outlook

Toxic people thrive on negativity. They love to pull others into their whirlpool of drama and pessimism.

But you have the power to resist getting sucked in.

Keeping a positive outlook can act as a buffer against their toxicity.

Rather than pretending that everything is fine or denying the reality of a difficult situation, it’s choosing to focus on the positive aspects of your life despite the negativity around you that matters.

When a toxic person tries to bring you down, remember the things that make you happy, the things you’re grateful for.

Surround yourself with positive people, indulge in activities that uplift you, and nurture optimism.

By doing so, you’re essentially telling the toxic person that their negativity has no place in your world.

You’re showing them that you won’t play into their hands by becoming negative yourself.

5) Limit your interactions

Sometimes, the best way to avoid playing psychological games is to simply limit your interactions with the toxic person.

This isn’t always possible, especially if they’re a family member or a coworker, but even small reductions can make a significant difference.

It’s about creating healthy distance.

You don’t need to cut them out completely, but try to limit the amount of time you spend interacting with them.

Think of it like a diet for your mental health.

You wouldn’t continuously eat food that makes you feel sick, would you?

Similarly, it’s not healthy to constantly expose yourself to toxic behavior.

By reducing your interactions, you’re sending a clear message that you won’t be a part of their drama.

And the less time you spend around toxicity, the less likely you are to get caught up in it.

6) Show compassion

This might sound counterintuitive, but hear me out.

Toxic people often behave the way they do because of their own unhealed wounds and unresolved issues.

This isn’t an excuse for their behavior, but understanding this can help you approach the situation with a bit more compassion.

Showing compassion doesn’t mean allowing them to treat you badly.

It simply means acknowledging their struggle without letting it become your own.

It’s about treating them with kindness, even when they don’t do the same for you.

I know it’s not easy. It takes strength to show kindness in the face of hostility.

But your reaction is a reflection of your character, not theirs.

And who knows?

Your compassion might just be the wake-up call they need to start addressing their own issues.

7) Seek support

Once, I found myself in a particularly toxic relationship.

It was draining, and I felt like I was losing myself in the process.

That’s when I reached out for support.

Let me tell you, seeking support can make a world of difference.

You don’t have to deal with toxic people on your own. Reach out to friends, family, or a professional counselor.

Having someone to talk to, someone who understands and validates your feelings, can be incredibly healing.

They can offer advice, provide perspective, and remind you of your worth when you’re feeling low.

They can also help you stay grounded and remind you not to get caught up in the toxic person’s games.

Never underestimate the power of a strong support system.

It was a lifeline for me during that difficult time, and it can be for you too.

You’re not alone, even when dealing with the most challenging toxic individuals.

Final thoughts: It’s all about self-respect

The journey of dealing with a toxic person is often less about them and more about you.

It’s about asserting your self-worth, maintaining your dignity, and protecting your peace of mind.

Dr. Brené Brown, a renowned research professor who has spent her career studying vulnerability, courage, and empathy, once said, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”

This quote rings true when dealing with toxic people.

Setting boundaries, choosing your battles wisely, maintaining positivity, and seeking support are all acts of self-love and self-respect.

Dealing with toxic individuals is not easy.

But always know that – you’re stronger than their games. You have the control. And most importantly, you deserve respect and kindness.

As you navigate through the challenges of toxic relationships or interactions, keep these strategies in mind.

They’re not just ways to deal with toxic people; they’re ways to honor yourself.

Because at the end of the day, you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness – and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.