7 habits of people who always seem angry and hostile, says psychology

Mia Zhang by Mia Zhang | January 10, 2025, 8:47 pm

There’s a fine line between someone having a bad day and a person who’s perpetually angry and hostile. It’s all about patterns.

Psychology tells us that these individuals tend to exhibit certain habits. And understanding these can definitely help to navigate tricky waters.

Ever wondered why some people always seem to be on the warpath? Well, I’ve rounded up eight habits that might offer some insight.

So, let’s dive into the world of constant anger and hostility, and see what makes these folks tick. Here are seven habits of people who always seem angry and hostile, as explained by psychology.

1) They’re often defensive

Enter the realm of psychology, and you’ll find defensiveness is a dominant trait in people who often seem angry and hostile.

Defensiveness, in this context, means being quick to react negatively to criticism or perceived threats. These individuals often view the world through a lens of hostility.

Imagine this: You offer a suggestion to your colleague on an improvement for their project. Instead of considering it, they immediately snap back, perceiving your suggestion as a personal attack.

This is classic defensiveness at play. It’s a protective mechanism that shields them from feeling inadequate or wrong, but it also keeps them in a state of constant anger and hostility.

Understanding this trait can help you navigate interactions with such individuals – it’s not about you, it’s about their defense mechanism. Keep this in mind and tread carefully to avoid unnecessary conflicts.

2) They hold grudges

Now, let me tell you a personal story. I once had a friend who seemed to have a mental catalog of every wrong ever done to her – big or small.

She could remember every misstep, every slight, every time she felt someone had wronged her, and she held on to these incidents like trophies. This habit of hers always left her feeling angry and hostile.

They’re like emotional accountants, keeping a tally of grievances and perceived slights. And this constant focus on the negative fuels their anger and hostility.

By understanding this habit, we can see that it’s not necessarily the present situation that’s fueling their anger, but their inability to let go of past hurts. It’s not an easy habit to break, but recognizing it can help us approach these individuals with more patience and understanding.

3) They’re quick to blame others

In the world of psychology, there’s a phenomenon known as the “fundamental attribution error“. It’s the tendency to blame other people for our problems rather than looking inward at our own actions.

For those who always seem angry and hostile, this error is often magnified. They’re quick to point fingers, assigning blame to others without considering their own role in the situation.

It’s a way of protecting themselves from feeling guilty or at fault. But it also serves to fuel their hostility and anger toward others. Recognizing this can help us understand that their blaming is more about them than it is about us.

4) They’re overly critical

Overcritical behavior is another common habit of those who frequently seem angry and hostile. From nitpicking minor details to harshly judging others’ actions, they tend to see the world through a lens of criticism.

It’s like they’re perpetually wearing a pair of ‘fault-finding’ glasses. Every situation, every interaction, every person they encounter is subject to their harsh scrutiny.

This constant criticism isn’t just directed towards others. Often, they’re even harder on themselves. This internal negativity can be a driving force behind their outward expression of anger and hostility.

Understanding this can help us approach these individuals with empathy and compassion – they may be fighting internal battles we know nothing about.

5) They struggle with empathy

I remember a time when I was dealing with a lot of stress at work. One day, I tried to share my struggles with a coworker who was known for his frequent displays of anger and hostility.

Instead of offering understanding or support, he brushed off my concerns as irrelevant and trivial. His lack of empathy left me feeling dismissed and invalidated.

This is typical behavior for individuals who frequently seem angry and hostile. They often struggle to empathize with others’ feelings or perspectives, which can result in dismissive or insensitive responses.

This lack of empathy isn’t necessarily intentional. Often, it’s a reflection of their own inability to manage their emotions effectively. Understanding this can help us approach these interactions with a greater sense of compassion.

6) They have a low frustration tolerance

People who often seem angry and hostile tend to have a low threshold for frustration. Things that others might brush off or deal with calmly can set them off in an instant.

Consider a traffic jam, for example. While most would see it as an annoying but inevitable part of life, these individuals might react with intense anger and frustration.

This low tolerance for frustration is often linked to their desire for control. When things don’t go as planned or when they’re faced with obstacles, their perceived lack of control can trigger feelings of anger and hostility.

Recognizing this trait can help us understand that their reactions are less about the situation at hand and more about their internal struggle with control and frustration.

7) They often feel misunderstood

The heart of the matter is this: people who frequently seem angry and hostile often feel profoundly misunderstood. They believe that others don’t “get” them or their perspective, which exacerbates their feelings of anger and hostility.

This sense of being misunderstood can create a vicious cycle. Their hostile behavior pushes people away, leading them to feel even more isolated and misunderstood.

Understanding this can help us approach these individuals with an open mind and a willingness to listen, which might be exactly what they need to break free from this cycle.

Food for thought: It’s about understanding

The human mind is a complex web of emotions, thoughts, and reactions. Psychology gives us a lens through which we can begin to understand this complexity.

When it comes to individuals who frequently seem angry and hostile, it’s crucial to remember that most times, their anger and hostility are not about you. It’s about their internal struggles, their coping mechanisms, and their perception of the world around them.

The habits we’ve discussed in this article are not excuses for inappropriate behavior but tools for understanding. They’re patterns that can give us insight into why some people react the way they do.

At the end of the day, it’s about empathy and understanding. It’s about seeing beyond the surface anger and hostility, and recognizing the human being beneath.

So next time you encounter someone displaying these habits, remember: understanding is the first step towards change.