It’s a common belief that as people age, they tend to become more stubborn and difficult.

This isn’t necessarily a universal truth, but it’s hard to deny that some do exhibit this trend.

This behavior shift can be as puzzling as it is frustrating.

But what if we could understand it better? Recognize early signs?

I’ve identified seven behaviors typically displayed by those who grow more stubborn and difficult with age.

1) Resistance to change

It’s been observed that as people age, they often become more resistant to change.

This can manifest in a number of ways, from refusing to adopt new technologies to sticking with outdated habits or routines.

This isn’t always a bad thing – consistency can provide a sense of security and continuity.

However, when it becomes an obstacle to progress or adaptability, it can create friction with others who are more open to change.

This behavior is often rooted in fear or discomfort with the unknown.

Being aware of this can help us approach such individuals with empathy and patience, rather than frustration.

But it’s crucial to remember that meaningful change often takes time.

2) A tendency to critique

We’ve all encountered this, haven’t we?

That one person who seems to have an opinion about everything and isn’t shy about sharing it.

I’ve noticed this becoming more prevalent in some people as they age.

Take my Uncle Jim, for instance.

In his younger years, he was carefree and open-minded.

As he’s aged, however, he’s developed a knack for critiquing everything from the way I dress to the type of music I listen to.

It can be tough to handle at times, but I’ve learned not to take it personally.

While it can seem like these individuals are just being difficult, it’s often more about maintaining a sense of control and relevance in a world that’s changing quicker than they’re comfortable with.

Understanding this can help us navigate these interactions with more grace and patience.

Research suggests that as individuals age, they may become more resistant to changing their established opinions, a phenomenon referred to as ‘aging’ in opinion formation models.

This increased rigidity can contribute to the behavior observed in older adults.

3) Lack of mindfulness

As we age, some people lose their ability to be present and mindful, instead getting caught in the past or worrying about the future.

They may constantly reminisce about the “good old days,” or fret over the uncertainties of what’s to come, making them seem difficult or stubborn in the present.

Mindfulness is a powerful tool that can help combat this.

It encourages us to live in the present moment, accepting it without judgment.

This not only helps with stress management but also promotes a more positive outlook on life.

In my book, “The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment”, I delve deeper into this practice and offer practical steps to incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine.

By embracing mindfulness, we can better understand and navigate the behaviors of those who seem more difficult as they age.

It teaches us to empathize with their experiences while maintaining our own peace of mind.

So if you’re struggling with a loved one who’s become more stubborn and difficult with age, mindfulness may be a valuable tool to consider.

4) Reduced social interaction

As years go by, social circles can reduce in size due to various reasons like retirement, health issues or friends moving away.

This can lead to a feeling of isolation and increase stubbornness as a defense mechanism.

Take, for instance, the shift from working full-time to retirement.

The sudden lack of daily interactions can be jarring, and the feeling of isolation can set in quicker than anticipated.

The comfort zone shrinks, and stepping out of it becomes a daunting task.

This change can make people more set in their ways, and less open to new experiences or perspectives.

It’s a tough cycle to break but understanding the root cause can help us approach these situations with compassion and patience.

Research has shown that social isolation and loneliness are linked to poorer cognitive function and a faster rate of cognitive decline in older adults, which can contribute to increased rigidity in behavior.

5) Increased independence

It might seem counter-intuitive, but an increased sense of independence can sometimes make people more difficult and stubborn as they age.

As we grow older, we often pride ourselves on our self-reliance and ability to manage things on our own.

For some, this can translate into a reluctance to accept help or advice from others, even when it’s needed.

They may view it as an intrusion on their independence or an implication that they are not capable.

While it’s great to see individuals maintaining their independence into their golden years, it’s important to remember that everyone needs help sometimes.

Balancing this need for independence with the ability to accept assistance when necessary is key.

6) Holding on to past grudges

As people age, they tend to hold on to past grudges and resentments.

Whether it’s a disagreement with a family member, or a fallout with a friend, these grudges can weigh heavily and contribute to a person seeming more difficult or stubborn.

This reluctance to forgive and move on can create tension in relationships and make it harder for them to adapt to new situations or changes.

It’s often a defense mechanism, a way of protecting themselves from being hurt again.

It’s important to understand that letting go of past hurts isn’t about forgetting or condoning the actions that caused the pain.

It’s about choosing to focus on the present and the future rather than being anchored in the past.

Research has shown that holding onto grudges can lead to increased stress and negative health outcomes, while practicing forgiveness can improve mental and physical health.

7) Fear of loss

At its core, becoming more difficult and stubborn with age is often rooted in the fear of loss.

This can be the fear of losing physical abilities, cognitive functions, loved ones or even their sense of identity.

These fears can manifest in a variety of behaviors that make them seem more difficult or stubborn.

Understanding this can help in approaching them with empathy and kindness.

At the heart of it: Empathy

Understanding human behavior is a complex task, and as we’ve seen, age can add another layer to this complexity.

Those who seem to become more difficult and stubborn as they get older are often dealing with a multitude of changes and fears.

While these behaviors can be challenging to navigate, they’re rooted in very human emotions.

In my book “The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment“, I explore how mindfulness can help us approach these situations with empathy and understanding.

By being present, we can better appreciate the experiences of others and respond with compassion.

As we reflect on the behaviors of those around us, let’s remember that everyone is dealing with their own unique set of challenges.

Understanding this can help us navigate our relationships with more grace and patience, making the world a little bit kinder for all.