People with a strong need for control tend to exhibit these 9 behaviors without realizing it
Ever found yourself meticulously organizing your sock drawer or meticulously planning every minute of your day?
You might just be a control enthusiast!
While having a strong need for control can be empowering, it often manifests in subtle behaviors that fly under the radar.
From micromanaging to over-planning, these 9 telltale signs can reveal more about your personality than you might realize.
So, buckle up and prepare to uncover the hidden behaviors that might just give away your inner control freak!
1) Over-planning
Being organized and planning ahead is generally a good thing, but for those with a strong need for control, it can morph into an obsession.
Control freaks often take planning to an extreme, leaving no room for spontaneity or unpredictability.
They will have a plan for every scenario, and backup plans for their backup plans.
This behavior stems from their need to feel in control of every situation they are in.
Any deviation from the plan can cause significant anxiety or frustration.
2) Difficulty delegating tasks
I’ve noticed this in myself – the inability to delegate tasks.
When I was handed a group project in college, I had this constant urge to take up all the tasks myself.
I felt that if I didn’t do things on my own, they wouldn’t be done right.
This led to me being overloaded with work, while my groupmates were left feeling uninvolved and underutilized.
Looking back, I realize that my need for control actually hindered our group’s productivity.
It was a hard lesson but it taught me the importance of trust and delegation.
This behavior is common among people with a strong need for control.
They often find it hard to trust others with tasks, fearing that others might not meet their standard.
This not only puts undue stress on them but can also strain their relationships with others.
3) Resistant to change
People with a strong need for control often have a hard time adapting to changes.
They find comfort in routine and predictability because it allows them to maintain control over their environment and circumstances.
Did you know that in psychology, this trait is linked to a cognitive bias known as “status quo bias”?
This is the preference to keep things the same by doing nothing or maintaining one’s current or previous decision.
A sudden change in plans, workplace policies, or even something as simple as a change in daily schedule can cause them significant distress.
It’s important to understand this behavior and approach changes gently and gradually when dealing with such individuals.
4) Perfectionist tendencies
Striving for perfection may seem like an impossible feat, yet those driven by an intense need for control relentlessly pursue it.
They set lofty standards, both for themselves and those around them.
Even the slightest deviation from flawlessness induces unwarranted stress and anxiety.
Their quest transcends mere excellence; it’s a fervent effort to retain mastery and evade the chaos of imperfection.
5) Difficulty trusting others
For people with a strong need for control, trust doesn’t come easily.
They often struggle to rely on others, feeling the need to oversee everything to ensure it meets their standards.
They may second-guess decisions made by others or feel the need to double-check work that’s been delegated.
This inability to trust can put a strain on personal and professional relationships.
It can make others feel undervalued and create an environment of tension and mistrust.
6) Fear of vulnerability
Opening up and showing vulnerability poses a daunting task for those tethered to control’s firm grip.
They often equate vulnerability with weakness, thinking that showing any form of emotional rawness might lead to them losing control.
They may put up walls, hide their true feelings, or refuse to ask for help when they need it.
Yet, let’s not overlook the valor in vulnerability.
It’s an act of profound courage, an embrace of our shared humanity, where strengths and weaknesses intertwine, shaping our authentic selves.
7) Overly critical outlook
I remember a time when I would obsess over every tiny detail, striving for absolute perfection.
This wasn’t limited to my work or personal goals, but also extended to those around me.
Every minor mistake, every slight deviation from what I perceived as ideal, would catch my eye and I would feel the need to correct it.
It was mentally exhausting, and I’m sure it wasn’t pleasant for those on the receiving end of my criticism.
This overly critical outlook is common among people with a strong need for control.
They have a clear vision of how things should be and find it hard to accept anything less. This can lead to a lot of internal and external conflict.
While constructive criticism can drive growth, it’s crucial to learn to accept and respect differences – and that sometimes, good is good enough.
8) Difficulty relaxing
For those with a high need for control, relaxation can sometimes feel like an unaffordable luxury.
They often have a constant mental to-do list running in their heads, making it hard for them to switch off and relax.
Even during supposed downtime, they might find themselves planning, organizing, or worrying about future tasks and events.
This constant state of alertness can take a toll on their mental and physical health.
9) Strong emotional reactions
Strong emotional reactions to situations perceived as out of control can be a significant indicator of a high need for control.
These reactions often stem from a deep-seated fear of losing control over one’s environment, circumstances, or even oneself.
Individuals with a heightened need for control may experience intense anxiety, frustration, or even anger when faced with situations that challenge their sense of control.
This reaction can manifest in various ways, such as micromanaging, stonewalling, or resorting to rigid, inflexible behavior.
Reflecting on control
When it comes to people with a strong need for control, it’s crucial to recognize that this desire often stems from a place of fear – fear of the unknown, fear of vulnerability, fear of perceived inadequacy.
Being aware of these behaviors is the first step towards understanding and empathy.
It’s a pathway to open communication, healthier relationships, and personal growth.
But most importantly, it’s an invitation for those struggling with control issues to reflect on their fears, challenge them, and gradually learn to let go.
Because life, with all its unpredictability and imperfections, is beautiful in its own way.