If you’ve experienced these 8 setbacks by 40, you’re mentally tougher than 95% of people

Eliza Hartley by Eliza Hartley | April 17, 2025, 5:23 am

Life has a way of throwing curveballs at us, and it’s not the challenges themselves but how we handle them that truly defines us.

If you’ve faced some major setbacks by the time you’ve hit 40, chances are you’re mentally tougher than most.

These adversities aren’t just hiccups; they’re character-building experiences that shape who we are and how we navigate the world.

In this article, we’ll explore 8 such setbacks that indicate your mental resilience. So read on if you’re curious to see whether you’re part of the 5% – the tough ones who have weathered life’s storms with grace and grit.

1) You’ve faced a major health crisis

Health is something we often take for granted, until we no longer have it.

Experiencing a significant health crisis, whether it’s your own or that of a loved one, can be a devastating setback. It forces you to confront your own mortality and can completely upend your life.

But if you’ve faced this by 40 and managed to keep going, it’s a testament to your mental resilience.

You’ve learnt the hard way that life is fragile and unpredictable. Yet, instead of being overwhelmed by fear or despair, you’ve chosen to press on.

This experience has likely given you a unique perspective on life and made you stronger in the face of adversity – a clear sign of mental toughness.

2) You’ve experienced job loss

I remember the day like it was yesterday. The stern voice of my boss on the other end of the line, “I’m sorry, but we have to let you go.”

Losing a job is a massive blow, not just financially but also to your self-esteem and sense of security. It can make you question your abilities and worth.

I was shattered. But I also realized that it was an opportunity to reassess my career path and what I truly wanted from my work life.

Bouncing back from a job loss requires courage, perseverance, and a healthy dose of self-belief. If you’ve gone through this before 40 and come out on the other side, there’s no denying your mental toughness.

Job loss can be a catalyst for change and growth if we choose to see it that way. And trust me, it makes you a whole lot stronger.

3) You’ve gone through a divorce

Going through a divorce can be one of the most stressful experiences in life. The emotional toll, coupled with the legal and financial complications, can feel overwhelming.

Did you know that there’s actually a measure called the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale, which ranks life events based on the stress they cause? Divorce ranks second, just below the death of a spouse.

Surviving a divorce requires you to navigate complex emotions, deal with practical issues and, often, redefine your identity. If you’ve been through this tumultuous journey before hitting 40 and managed to rebuild your life, it speaks volumes about your mental toughness.

Life after divorce can be a rebirth of sorts, allowing you to discover new aspects of yourself and build a life that’s truly your own.

4) You’ve dealt with financial hardship

There’s nothing quite like the pressure of financial hardship. The constant worry about how to pay the bills, the strain it puts on your relationships, and the fear of what the future might hold.

If you’ve been through serious financial trouble before you turned 40, it’s likely that you’ve developed some serious resilience along the way.

Not only does it require you to make tough decisions and sacrifices, it also tests your ability to stay hopeful and optimistic in the face of adversity.

Overcoming financial hardship requires discipline, creativity, and a lot of grit. If you’ve managed to bounce back from this setback, your mental toughness is beyond question.

5) You’ve lost a loved one

Losing a loved one is a profound and deeply personal experience of pain. It’s a setback that shakes us to our core and alters the landscape of our lives forever.

If you’ve experienced this before 40, my heart goes out to you. You’ve been forced to confront an irreplaceable loss and navigate the world without the presence of someone dear to you.

However, amidst this pain, there’s also an opportunity for growth. This loss can forge a depth of empathy and understanding in you, making you more compassionate towards the suffering of others.

Enduring the heartbreak of losing a loved one and finding the strength to move forward is a true testament to your mental toughness. It’s a painful reminder of life’s fragility but also a testament to our ability to endure and heal.

6) You’ve faced rejection or failure

I’ve always been a dreamer. So when I started my own business, I poured my heart and soul into it. But despite all my efforts, it failed.

Rejection or failure, especially something you’re deeply invested in, can feel like a punch in the gut. It questions your capabilities, shakes your confidence, and can leave a lasting impact.

But here’s the thing: failure also teaches you resilience. It’s a tough teacher, but it shows you that falling is not the end of the world; it’s getting back up that counts.

If you’ve faced significant rejection or failure before 40 and still managed to keep your dreams alive, you’re undoubtedly mentally tougher than most. Because remember, every setback is a setup for a comeback.

7) You’ve gone through a traumatic event

Traumatic events can leave deep scars. Be it a natural disaster, an accident, or any form of physical or emotional abuse, the impact can be life-altering.

If you’ve experienced a traumatic event before 40, you’ve had to deal with emotions and experiences that many people can’t even begin to comprehend.

But if you’ve managed to move forward, to heal and rebuild your life after such an event, it shows an incredible level of mental toughness.

Your ability to overcome such a significant setback is a testament to your resilience and strength. It also often leads to a deepened sense of empathy and understanding towards others who have gone through similar experiences.

8) You’ve grappled with mental health issues

Mental health issues can be crippling. They can make the simplest tasks feel like climbing a mountain and can often leave you feeling isolated and misunderstood.

If you’ve struggled with mental health issues before 40, you’ve faced a battle that many people don’t see or understand.

But here’s what I want you to know: your struggle is not a sign of weakness. On the contrary, it’s proof of your strength.

Getting up every day and fighting an invisible battle requires immense mental toughness. And if you’re doing it, you’re much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You’re part of the 5% who are mentally tougher than 95% of people out there.

Eliza Hartley

Eliza Hartley

Eliza Hartley, a London-based writer, is passionate about helping others discover the power of self-improvement. Her approach combines everyday wisdom with practical strategies, shaped by her own journey overcoming personal challenges. Eliza's articles resonate with those seeking to navigate life's complexities with grace and strength.