10 types of family members you’re better off keeping at a distance, according to psychology

Mia Zhang by Mia Zhang | December 30, 2024, 5:10 pm

It’s no secret – every family has its unique mix of personalities. Some you adore and some, well, you’re better off keeping at a distance.

Navigating these familial relationships can be tricky, especially when it’s about setting boundaries without causing a rift.

Psychology tells us that some types of family members can drain us emotionally and mentally. I’m not saying you should cut ties completely, but recognizing the signs and maintaining a healthy distance can be beneficial.

So let’s explore the ten types of family members you’re better off keeping at a distance, shall we?

1) The perpetual critic

Ever heard the saying, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”?

Well, this type of family member never got that memo. We all have that one relative who seems to find fault in everything you do. From your career choices to your fashion sense – nothing escapes their criticism.

According to psychology, continuous exposure to negativity can significantly impact your mental health. It’s like being in a constant state of defense, and it’s exhausting.

You’d be better off maintaining some distance from this type of family member. It doesn’t mean you love them any less, but it does mean prioritizing your mental well-being. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Remember, it’s okay to protect your peace.

2) The drama creator

Some family members have a flair for turning every minor incident into a major drama. They revel in conflict, gossip, and seem to thrive on chaos.

Being around these drama creators can be stressful and exhausting. It can feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells, never knowing what will set off the next explosion.

Drama creators often use conflict to gain attention or manipulate others. If you’ve got a family member who always seems to be at the center of some drama, it might be time to take a step back.

Remember, your peace of mind is important. It’s okay to distance yourself from unnecessary drama and conflict.

3) The control freak

You know those family members who always seem to know what’s best for you – who you should date, what you should wear, where you should work, and so on? These control freaks often believe they’re helping, but in reality, their behavior can have detrimental effects.

Control freaks often have an underlying need for security and predictability. However, their need for control can become suffocating for those around them.

It’s important to remember that you’re the captain of your own life. So when dealing with a control freak in your family, maintaining some distance can help you assert your independence and make choices that align with your own values and desires.

4) The constant competitor

Life isn’t a race, but try telling that to the constant competitor in your family. Be it career achievements, financial milestones, or even trivial things like who makes the best spaghetti – they’re always up for a competition.

While healthy competition can be motivating, when it’s a constant within your family dynamic, it can breed envy, stress, and tension.

Such competitive behavior stems from insecurities and low self-esteem. But should you bear the brunt of their personal issues? Absolutely not.

A little distance from this type of family member can bring some much-needed peace to your life. It’s important to remember that everyone is on their own unique journey, and constant comparison only adds unnecessary pressure.

5) The guilt tripper

Guilt is a powerful emotion, and some family members know exactly how to use it to their advantage. They make you feel guilty for your choices, actions, or even your happiness.

This manipulative behavior is often a control tactic. By making you feel guilty, they’re trying to influence your actions and decisions. It’s an unhealthy dynamic that can lead to self-doubt and diminished self-worth.

Guilt, in fact, should be a response to our own actions, not a reaction to someone else’s expectations or demands.

Creating some distance from these guilt trippers can help foster a healthier emotional environment for you. Remember, it’s okay to live your life on your own terms without feeling guilty about it.

6) The unsupportive one

Life’s journey is filled with highs and lows. During those low moments, a supportive family member can make all the difference. But what happens when instead of support, you face discouragement?

Sadly, for some of us, this is too familiar. You share your dreams and ambitions, only to be met with negativity and discouragement. These unsupportive family members can chip away at your confidence and even make you question your self-worth.

But remember this – it’s your dreams, your life. Surrounding ourselves with positivity enhances our ability to achieve our goals and boosts our mental well-being.

So, if there’s someone in your family who refuses to support or encourage you, maybe it’s time to keep them at arm’s length. Your dreams are too precious to be let down by undue negativity.

7) The boundary crosser

Boundaries are essential in any relationship, even more so with family. But there’s always that one relative who doesn’t seem to understand this. They’ll show up unannounced, offer unsolicited advice or even feel entitled to your personal space and time.

I recall a time when a cousin of mine would always borrow my things without asking. It was as if my personal belongings were automatically hers too. It made me feel uncomfortable and disrespected.

Psychology tells us that when boundaries are constantly violated, it can lead to feelings of resentment and make us feel disrespected. It’s important to assert your boundaries and make it clear when they’ve been crossed.

Remember, it’s okay to distance yourself from those who can’t respect your boundaries. Protecting your personal space and time is not just a right, but a necessity for your mental well-being.

8) The manipulator

Manipulative family members are perhaps the most damaging of all. They’re skilled at playing with your emotions to get what they want, often making you feel guilty, indebted, or even crazy.

Psychology tells us that manipulative behavior is often rooted in a person’s own insecurities and need for control. However, that doesn’t excuse it. Being on the receiving end of manipulation can be emotionally draining and deeply damaging.

The most important thing to remember is that it’s not your fault. You are not responsible for another person’s manipulative behavior. It’s okay to say no, to set boundaries, and to distance yourself from those who consistently manipulate you.

9) The overly dependent

You might think that a family member who constantly leans on you for support is showing their love and trust in you. However, there’s a difference between mutual support and one-sided dependency.

An overly dependent family member can be emotionally draining. They may rely on you for everything, from making decisions to handling their problems. While it’s natural to help out, this level of dependency can become unhealthy.

It’s important for everyone to develop a certain level of independence and resilience. If a family member becomes too reliant on you, it might be time to establish some distance and encourage them to develop their own problem-solving skills.

Remember, it’s not your responsibility to solve everyone else’s problems. It’s okay to put your own needs first.

10) The constant pessimist

Last but definitely not least is the constant pessimist. This family member always sees the glass half empty, and their negativity can be contagious.

Continuous exposure to such negativity can impact our mood, motivation, and even our overall outlook on life. It’s important to protect your mental space from such pessimism.

Surrounding yourself with positivity promotes better mental health and a more optimistic perspective. So when it comes to the constant pessimist in your family, a bit of distance might just be the best thing for you.

Embracing the power of boundaries

Relations and connections are like the threads that weave the fabric of our lives. Each one adds a unique color and texture, shaping our experiences and emotions.

When it comes to family, these threads can be even more profound. After all, our family members play significant roles in our lives. They contribute to our upbringing, shape our values, and often remain an integral part of our support system throughout life.

However, just like with any relationship, it’s important to recognize when certain familial connections are more harmful than beneficial. Psychology tells us that setting boundaries isn’t just healthy, it’s essential for our well-being.

Remember, distancing yourself from certain family members doesn’t mean you love them any less. It simply means you’re choosing to prioritize your mental health and peace of mind.

So as you reflect on these ten types of family members, remember the importance of setting healthy boundaries. It might just be the key to nurturing a healthier, happier you.