The holiday season is upon us, and let’s face it, we all have a love-hate relationship with it.

On one hand, there’s the joy of festive lights, the comfort of hot cocoa, the thrill of gift exchanges, and the warmth of family gatherings.

On the other, there’s the stress of holiday planning, the pressure of cooking for a crowd, the anxiety of last-minute shopping, and the madness of dealing with certain family members.

Yes, you read that right. Not every family gathering is a scene straight out of a Hallmark movie. Sometimes it can feel more like a boxing match in a ring where you’re up against Mike Tyson.

And no matter how much we love our families, there are always those few relatives who really know how to push our buttons, making us question our sanity during what’s supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year.”

If you’ve ever found yourself dreading certain holiday interactions, you’re not alone. Protecting your peace is just as important as showing up for the festivities.

That’s why it’s helpful to know which types of family members to avoid—or at least set boundaries with—so you can actually enjoy the season without unnecessary stress.

Let’s dive into seven personalities to steer clear of if staying sane is high on your holiday wishlist!

1) The constant complainer

Ah, the constant complainer. We all have one in our family, don’t we?

This is that relative who can turn the most joyful holiday gathering into a misery fest. The turkey is too dry. The weather outside is too cold. The gifts weren’t up to par. You name it, they’ve got a complaint about it.

Listening to their endless negativity can be draining, and before you know it, they’ve sucked all the festive spirit out of the room. It’s like they’re on a personal mission to make everyone as miserable as they are.

Try not to engage with them too much. Smile, nod, and then discreetly move on to someone else. Remember, you’re there to soak up the holiday cheer, not the holiday jeer.

2) The unsolicited advisor

Next up on the list is the unsolicited advisor. You know who I’m talking about, right?

This is the one family member who always has something to say about how you should be living your life.

Their comments range from your career choices to your love life, your lifestyle to the way you’ve decorated your Christmas tree this year.

Last Christmas, I had an encounter with my own personal unsolicited advisor – my Aunt Martha. No sooner had I stepped through the door than she was on my case about why I was still single and how I should be settling down by now.

While we were eating dinner, she questioned my decision to pursue a career in writing and subtly hinted that maybe it was time to look for something more stable.

And when it came to the gift exchange, she had a lot to say about the gifts I had chosen for everyone. According to her, my selection of books for my younger cousins wasn’t appropriate because they should be spending less time reading and more time playing outdoors.

Dealing with the unsolicited advisor can be a real test of patience. My advice? Smile, thank them for their “suggestions,” and then go about your day just as you planned. It’s your life, after all, not theirs.

3) The drama king or queen

4) The incessant talker

Enter the incessant talker. This is the relative who just won’t stop talking, no matter what. They can carry on a conversation for hours on end, often about subjects that only interest them.

While their intentions are usually harmless, their chatter can be overwhelming, especially during the holidays when you’re trying to connect with everyone.

Dealing with the excessive talker takes a bit of patience and strategy. Start by setting gentle boundaries—if they’re monopolizing a group discussion, politely interject with something like, “That’s interesting! I’d love to hear what [someone else] thinks about this too.”

And if you truly can’t bear it any longer, don’t hesitate to politely excuse yourself from their monologue. 

5) The political debater

Next in line is the political debater. This family member seems to think that holiday gatherings are the perfect platform to discuss their political views and start heated debates.

It’s not that discussing politics is inherently bad. In fact, healthy discussions about current events can be enriching and enlightening.

But there’s a time and place for everything, and the holiday dinner table, surrounded by a diverse group of family members with varying views, might not be the best setting for it.

My brother-in-law, Tom, is notorious for this. Every Christmas, he turns our peaceful family dinner into a political debate forum. He passionately shares his views on every controversial topic you can think of, from immigration policies to climate change.

And while some family members engage in the debate, others – like me – find it exhausting and disruptive to the holiday spirit.

The best way to handle this type of family member is to either steer the conversation towards non-controversial topics or simply excuse yourself from the table when the debate starts heating up. Your mental peace is more important than winning an argument.

6) The competitive relative

Do you have a family member who turns everything into a competition? Who brought the best dish to the holiday dinner, who got the best deal on Black Friday, or whose kids got the highest grades this semester — all of these are important to them. 

In my family, that person is Aunt Patty. She’s always comparing her life to everyone else’s and trying to one-up us all.

If I mention that I’ve started a new workout routine, she’ll immediately start talking about how she’s training for a marathon.

If my cousin talks about his new job, she’ll brag about how her son just got promoted.

This kind of constant competition can be exhausting and stressful. Holidays should be about coming together as a family and celebrating our love for each other, not trying to outdo one another.

The best way to deal with a competitive relative? Don’t engage in their games. Smile, acknowledge their accomplishments, and then move on. The holidays are about peace and joy, not competition and stress.

7) The invasive inquirer

Finally, we come to the invasive inquirer. This is the family member who feels entitled to know every detail of your life and isn’t shy about prying.

Whether it’s your love life, your finances or your career, nothing seems to be off-limits for them. They disguise their nosiness as concern, but it can feel intrusive and overwhelming.

While it can be tough to navigate these situations without hurting feelings or causing a scene, setting boundaries is crucial.

Politely but firmly let them know that some aspects of your life are private and not open for discussion. Remember, you have the right to keep certain parts of your life to yourself, even during family gatherings.