8 types of people who never deserve a second chance, according to psychology

Avatar by Lachlan Brown | June 7, 2024, 11:39 am

There’s a fine line between forgiving and being a pushover. We’ve all heard the saying, “fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.”

Psychology backs this up. It suggests there are certain types of people who, for our own wellbeing, we should never give a second chance.

Understanding these types can save us from repeating the same mistakes and getting hurt over and over again.

In this article, I’ll be walking you through the 8 types of people who, according to psychology, don’t deserve a second chance. Let’s dive in.

1) The chronic liar

We all tell little white lies from time to time. But there are those who take it to a whole new level.

Meet the chronic liar.

According to psychology, chronic liars have a pattern of consistently lying about both big and small things. They don’t just tell occasional fibs—they bend the truth as a way of life.

This behavior not only erodes trust but also causes emotional distress to those around them. It’s like walking on a minefield, never knowing when the next lie will explode.

Dealing with a chronic liar can be incredibly draining and often futile, as their pattern of deceit is deeply ingrained.

If you find yourself dealing with a chronic liar, psychology suggests it might be best not to offer them a second chance. Save yourself from the inevitable heartache and frustration that comes with their continuous dishonesty.

Remember: Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.

2) The perpetual victim

Ever met someone who always plays the victim? I have, and it’s exhausting.

There was a friend of mine, let’s call him Joe. Joe was a master at making every situation about him and his struggles.

It didn’t matter if you were going through something tough, Joe’s life was always worse. He refused to take responsibility for his actions, instead blaming everyone else for his problems.

Psychologists call these individuals perpetual victims. They’re stuck in a cycle of blaming others and refusing to acknowledge their role in their predicaments.

Giving a second chance to the perpetual victim means you’re signing up for another round of their never-ending sob story. It’s draining and takes away from your own peace of mind.

Take it from me, sometimes it’s better to distance yourself and let them figure out their own battles.

3) The manipulator

Manipulators are skilled at twisting situations and people to suit their own needs. They’re experts in emotional blackmail, guilt-tripping, and deceptive tactics.

Consider this: a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that manipulators tend to have high levels of Machiavellianism, a personality trait characterized by a willingness to manipulate others for personal gain.

So if you find yourself dealing with a manipulator, remember that their actions aren’t just a one-off. They’re likely part of a deeply ingrained personality trait.

Giving them a second chance might just give them another opportunity to manipulate you. It’s safer to steer clear and avoid becoming their puppet.

4) The narcissist

Narcissists are notorious for their inflated sense of self-importance and lack of empathy. They crave admiration and have a sense of entitlement that often leads to damaging relationships.

Their world revolves around them, and they view others merely as tools to meet their needs. They have a habit of taking more than they give, leaving you feeling drained and unappreciated.

Dealing with a narcissist can be quite a challenge, as they rarely see the error in their ways. They’re experts at twisting narratives and making you feel like the problem.

Giving a second chance to a narcissist often means signing up for more of the same treatment. It’s crucial to protect yourself and walk away when you encounter this type of personality.

5) The emotional abuser

Emotional abuse can be subtle, but it’s just as damaging as physical abuse. It leaves scars not on the skin, but on the soul.

Emotional abusers use tactics like belittling, humiliation, constant criticism, and emotional blackmail to exert control and power. They chip away at your self-esteem, making you feel worthless and undeserving of love.

The pain of emotional abuse runs deep. It’s a violation of trust, an assault on your self-worth.

No one deserves to be treated this way. If you find yourself in an emotionally abusive relationship, it’s important to remember that you are not the problem. You deserve respect, love, and kindness.

Giving a second chance to an emotional abuser often means opening yourself up to more pain and suffering. You deserve better. It’s not just about walking away from them—it’s about walking towards a healthier, happier future for yourself.

6) The user

I had a friend who only seemed to remember my number when she needed something. A lift, a loan, a shoulder to cry on. But when I needed her? Suddenly, she was too busy.

Users are individuals who take advantage of others’ kindness and generosity without giving anything in return. They’re always ready to take, but rarely there to give.

This kind of one-sided relationship can leave you feeling used and unappreciated. It’s like pouring your energy into a black hole, never to be seen again.

Giving a second chance to a user often means signing up for more of the same take-take relationship. It’s important to surround yourself with people who value you for who you are, not just for what you can give them.

7) The constant critic

We all know someone who can never find a kind word to say. The constant critic is an expert at pinpointing flaws and mistakes, often magnifying them beyond proportion.

Whether it’s your appearance, your work, or even your personality, nothing ever seems good enough for them. This consistent negativity can be deeply damaging to your self-esteem and overall mental wellbeing.

Psychology suggests that constant critics often project their own insecurities onto others. But that doesn’t mean you have to bear the brunt of their issues.

Giving a second chance to a constant critic often means subjecting yourself to more negativity and self-doubt. Remember, constructive criticism is one thing, but relentless negativity is something you don’t need in your life.

8) The unapologetic betrayer

In life, trust is sacred. It’s the foundation of any healthy relationship. But a betrayal can shatter that trust in an instant.

The unapologetic betrayer doesn’t just break your trust, they show no remorse for their actions. They betray you and then act as if nothing happened, leaving you to pick up the pieces.

This lack of remorse is a red flag. It shows a disregard for your feelings and a willingness to hurt you again.

If you’ve been betrayed by someone who shows no signs of guilt or regret, it’s best to keep your distance. Trust, once broken, is incredibly hard to rebuild. And with an unapologetic betrayer, it’s likely to be broken again.

Final thoughts: We deserve better

The complex world of human behavior is deeply intertwined with our psychological makeup.

One key principle to remember is that we teach others how to treat us by what we allow, what we stop, and what we reinforce.

If we continuously give second chances to those who harm us, we’re inadvertently teaching them that their actions are acceptable. This can lead to a cycle of hurt and disappointment.

It’s crucial for our own well-being to identify the types of people who don’t deserve a second chance and to stand firm in our decision not to let them back into our lives. It’s not about holding grudges; it’s about safeguarding our mental and emotional health.

Remember, everyone deserves respect, kindness, and compassion. You deserve relationships that bring you joy, not pain. Relationships that build you up, not tear you down.

As the poet Maya Angelou wisely said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

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