Relationships are a two-way street, but sometimes they can feel more like a one-way dead-end. There could be someone in your life who is draining you emotionally, and it’s not always easy to identify.

Psychology offers us tools to spot these energy vampires. Knowing the signs can help you protect your emotional health, even when confronted with the most skilled emotional drainers.

In this article, we’ll explore “8 signs someone in your life is emotionally draining you, according to psychology”. Let’s dive in and arm ourselves with knowledge to safeguard our emotional wellbeing.

1) They’re always the victim

Ever noticed how some people always seem to be in some sort of crisis? It’s like they’re permanently stuck in a soap opera that they can’t escape from, and you’re their favorite person to recount all the drama to.

This is one of the key signs of an emotional drainer: they see themselves as a perennial victim. According to psychology, individuals who constantly perceive themselves as victims tend to unload their problems onto others, seeking sympathy or advice but rarely taking responsibility for their own actions.

They have a knack for turning even the most innocent conversation into a monologue about their latest woes. They’re not interested in your day or your feelings, it’s all about them and their problems.

Being around such a person can be mentally and emotionally exhausting. It’s like being in a one-sided relationship where you give all the emotional support but receive nothing in return.

2) You feel drained after interacting with them

This one hit close to home for me. I had a friend, let’s call her Jane. Every time we hung out, it felt like running a marathon. I would come home feeling utterly drained, unable to do anything else for the rest of the day.

Jane was never short of problems and complaints. Our conversations revolved around her issues, with little to no room for any other topic. After hanging out with her, I’d find myself mentally and emotionally exhausted.

Psychologists explain this as the “emotional contagion” phenomenon – emotions are contagious, and being around someone who’s constantly negative can affect your own emotional state, leaving you feeling drained.

It took me a while to realize this pattern. And once I did, I had to make the tough decision to distance myself from Jane for my own emotional well-being. It wasn’t an easy decision, but sometimes self-care requires making tough choices.

3) They rarely reciprocate

In healthy relationships, there’s a balance of give and take. But with emotional drainers, you may notice a stark imbalance. You’re always there for them, yet when you need support, they’re nowhere to be found.

According to a study, this lack of reciprocity can have a detrimental impact on your psychological health. The research suggests that one-sided relationships, where one person gives more than they receive, can lead to feelings of resentment and emotional exhaustion.

So if you’re feeling like the emotional support in your relationship is a one-way street, it might be a sign that you’re dealing with an emotional drainer.

4) They dismiss your feelings

Ever tried to share how you’re feeling, only to have it dismissed or minimized? That’s a classic sign of an emotional drainer.

They might tell you that you’re overreacting or that your feelings aren’t valid. This is a form of emotional invalidation, and it’s incredibly damaging.

According to psychologists, emotional invalidation can lead to self-doubt, low self-esteem, and even depression. It makes you question your own emotions and can leave you feeling confused and alone.

If someone consistently dismisses or minimizes your feelings, it’s likely they’re draining you emotionally. Your feelings are valid and deserve to be heard and respected.

5) You’re always walking on eggshells around them

This one’s a tough one, and it’s something that’s sadly too common. You find yourself always tiptoeing around their feelings, careful not to say or do anything that might upset them.

You’re constantly on high alert, worrying about their reactions. Simple conversations become a minefield, and you lose the freedom to express yourself openly and honestly.

According to psychologists, this constant state of worry and stress can have serious impacts on your mental health. It can lead to anxiety and even feelings of worthlessness.

Remember, you should never feel like you have to walk on eggshells in your relationships. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and understanding, where both parties feel safe to express their feelings without fear of retaliation.

6) They make you feel guilty for their problems

I’ll never forget the time I spent my entire weekend helping a friend move, only to be accused of not caring enough when I couldn’t stay longer because of a prior commitment. Instead of appreciating the time and effort I had put in, they made me feel guilty for not doing more.

This is another sign of an emotional drainer. They have a way of making you feel responsible for their problems or emotions, which can leave you feeling guilty and overwhelmed.

It’s important to remember that while it’s okay to support others, it’s not your responsibility to fix their problems. And you definitely shouldn’t be made to feel guilty for not being able to solve them.

7) They’re always negative

Negativity can be a contagion, especially when it comes from someone close to you. If you’re constantly surrounded by criticism, pessimism, or doom and gloom, it can start to affect your own mindset.

Emotional drainers often have a negative outlook on everything. They have a knack for finding the cloud in every silver lining and aren’t shy about sharing their pessimistic viewpoints.

Psychologists warn that this constant negativity can bring down your own mood and even impact your mental health. So if you’re feeling down after spending time with someone, it might be a sign that they’re emotionally draining you.

8) Your instincts are telling you something is off

At the end of the day, your instincts are one of your most powerful tools. If you feel like something is off, or you’re always on edge around a certain person, trust that feeling.

Psychologists affirm that our gut feelings are often right. They’re our subconscious picking up on subtle cues and patterns that our conscious mind may not immediately recognize.

So if your instincts are telling you that someone in your life is emotionally draining you, don’t ignore those feelings. It could be a sign that it’s time to reassess that relationship and take steps to protect your emotional wellbeing.