Being deeply attached to your partner and being in love might feel similar, but they’re not the same.

Attachment often brings feelings of safety, comfort, and dependence, while love is more about choosing to be with someone even when it’s difficult.

Attachment can sometimes make us believe we’re in love when, in reality, we’re seeking security.

Love, on the other hand, is about mutual respect, growth, and emotional freedom.

In this article, we’ll break down 8 signs that suggest what you’re feeling might be deep attachment rather than love.

1) You’re uncomfortable without them

There’s a certain level of comfort we attain when we’re deeply attached to someone.

Picture this scenario. You’re at a social gathering and your partner is not around.

Suddenly, you feel out of place, even though the people around you are your friends.

You can’t shake off this feeling of unease and discomfort because the one person you’re deeply attached to is absent.

This sense of discomfort without them signifies a profound attachment.

It’s like they’ve become your safety blanket in social situations.

Don’t misinterpret this attachment for love.

Love is about being secure and comfortable in your own skin, regardless of whether your partner is there or not.

Being deeply attached, on the other hand, is more about relying on your partner for comfort and security.

It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it’s important to recognize it for what it is – attachment, not love.

2) You feel a sense of panic when they’re away

I can recall a time when my partner went away on a business trip for a week. I remember feeling an overwhelming sense of panic.

It felt like a part of me had been ripped away and I was incomplete without them.

I couldn’t shake off the feeling that something awful would happen while they were gone.

The house felt eerie and empty without their presence, and every unexpected phone call sent my heart racing, fearing it was bad news about them.

Now, I know that was a sign of deep attachment, not necessarily love.

It was more about my dependency on them for emotional stability rather than a sign of deep, romantic love.

When this anxiety gets extreme it’s what psychologists call separation anxiety — it’s a slippery one.

3) Their habits become your habits

Did you know our brains are wired in a way that we tend to absorb the habits of those we spend a lot of time with?

It’s a subconscious process known as mirroring and it plays a crucial role in our social interactions.

When you’re deeply attached to your partner, you might find yourself picking up their habits or mimicking their behavior.

This could be anything from the way they eat, the phrases they use or even the way they dress.

While it’s quite natural to pick up on a few habits from your partner, it’s important to note that this is more indicative of deep attachment rather than love.

Love is about appreciating someone for who they are, not necessarily becoming a mirror image of them.

4) You prioritize their needs over yours

Attachment can often make us prioritize the needs of our partner over our own.

You might find yourself going out of your way to make sure they’re comfortable, even if it means sacrificing your own comfort.

Or maybe you constantly put their needs and desires before your own, without expecting anything in return.

While this might seem like a noble act of love, it’s often a sign of deep attachment.

Love is a two-way street, where both partners’ needs are equally important.

But in a relationship heavily based on attachment, one partner’s needs are often prioritized at the expense of the other’s.

It’s healthy to consider your partner’s needs, but not at the cost of neglecting your own.

5) Their happiness is your happiness

When you’re deeply attached to your partner, their happiness becomes intrinsically linked to yours.

You might find yourself going out of your way to put a smile on their face, because seeing them happy gives you a sense of joy and satisfaction.

Their laughter is infectious, their joy permeates you, and their sadness weighs heavily on you.

While this deep emotional connection might seem like love, it’s often a sign of intense attachment.

True love is about wanting your partner’s happiness, but also understanding that their emotions are separate from yours.

Your partner’s happiness is important, but remember, it should not be the sole source of your own happiness.

6) Their opinion matters the most

I remember when I was deciding whether to take up a new job opportunity that required relocating.

While everyone around me had an opinion, the only one that mattered to me was my partner’s.

Their words held the power to sway my decision.

In retrospect, I realize this was a sign of my deep attachment. I valued their opinion more than anyone else’s, even my own.

This is a common trait in relationships where there’s deep attachment – the partner’s opinion takes precedence over everything else.

While it’s natural to value your partner’s perspective, it’s also important to trust your own judgment.

Love is about respecting each other’s opinions while still making independent decisions.

7) You fear losing them

Fear of loss is a powerful emotion. When you’re deeply attached to your partner, the mere thought of losing them can be terrifying.

You might find yourself constantly worrying about what would happen if they left or if something happened to them.

This fear can sometimes be so intense that it affects your daily life and emotional well-being.

While it’s natural to worry about losing someone you care about, this intense fear is often more indicative of deep attachment rather than love.

Love is about trust and security, not fear and anxiety.

A healthy relationship is based on mutual trust and understanding, not fear of loss.

8) Your identity is intertwined with theirs

When you’re deeply attached to your partner, you might find that your identity becomes intertwined with theirs.

You think of yourself not as an individual, but as a part of a pair.

Your interests, hobbies, and even personal goals might begin to align more with your partner’s than your own.

While it’s healthy for couples to share common interests and goals, it’s also important to maintain your individuality.

Love is about appreciating each other’s uniqueness and encouraging personal growth, not losing oneself in the relationship.

You are your own person with unique thoughts, feelings and aspirations. Don’t lose sight of who you are in your quest to maintain a relationship.

Attachment or love – Know the difference

Understanding the difference between attachment and love is key to building a healthy, fulfilling relationship.

While attachment offers comfort and stability, love encourages growth, freedom, and a deeper emotional connection.

By recognizing the signs of deep attachment, you can take a step back and assess your feelings more clearly.