8 body language gestures that make you seem more approachable

Tina Fey by Tina Fey | June 30, 2024, 3:01 pm

There’s a marked distinction between seeming aloof and coming off as approachable. It’s all in the body language.

Body language is a silent communicator, revealing more about our intentions and feelings than words often do. When you master this unspoken language, you can control how approachable you appear to others.

Being approachable isn’t just about being friendly. It’s about drawing others in, making them feel comfortable around you, and ultimately, opening lines of genuine communication.

This article lays out 8 simple body language gestures that can instantly make you seem more approachable. Trust me, it’s not as hard as it sounds.

1) Open posture

Body language is a silent yet powerful communicator, and an open posture is one of the strongest signals you can send.

Let’s break it down. An open posture means that your body, especially your torso and chest, is turned towards the person you’re interacting with. You aren’t shielding yourself with your arms, bag, or any other object. Instead, you’re quite literally opening yourself up to conversation.

This gesture communicates that you’re not just physically present but also emotionally available. It sends a clear signal that you’re ready and willing to engage in genuine interaction.

Think about it this way. Imagine walking into a room and seeing someone standing with crossed arms versus someone else with their arms by their side. Who would you approach first?

Remember, though, authenticity is key. If your open posture isn’t coupled with genuine interest in the conversation, people will see right through it. So make sure your body language aligns with your intentions.

2) Eye contact

Eye contact is another crucial element in appearing approachable. It’s a non-verbal way of saying, “I see you, I acknowledge your presence, and I’m interested in what you have to say.”

I remember a time when I was at a networking event. There I was, standing awkwardly in a corner, scanning the room and not knowing who to approach first. Then, someone across the room made eye contact with me. They didn’t just glance my way; they held my gaze for a moment, nodded slightly, and smiled.

That simple act of eye contact made me feel seen and acknowledged. Guess who I ended up approaching first? Yep, the person who made eye contact.

But here’s the thing: balance is key. Too little eye contact might make you seem disinterested or aloof. Too much, and you might come off as creepy or aggressive.

So, practice maintaining just the right amount of eye contact. It can make all the difference in how approachable you seem to others.

3) Mirroring

Mirroring is a fascinating phenomenon where we unconsciously mimic the body language of the person we’re interacting with. It’s a sign of empathy and rapport, indicating that we are attuned to the other person’s emotions and reactions.

Subtle mirroring can make you seem more likeable and approachable. It sends a message that you’re on the same wavelength as the other person, fostering a sense of connection and understanding.

For instance, if someone leans in while talking, you can lean in too. If they use certain hand gestures or expressions, you can subtly mirror those as well.

But here’s something to note: mirroring needs to be subtle and natural. If it’s too obvious or forced, it can come across as mockery or mimicry, which is definitely not approachable!

Interestingly, research suggests that even waiters who subtly mirror their customers’ speech and behavior can increase their tips by up to 70%. Now that’s some food for thought!

4) Nodding

Ever noticed how you feel encouraged when someone nods while you’re speaking? That’s because nodding is a universal sign of agreement and understanding. It shows that you’re actively listening and engaged in the conversation.

When you nod while someone else is speaking, it can make them feel heard and valued. It also encourages them to continue sharing their thoughts and ideas, fostering a more open and meaningful dialogue.

But, just like with eye contact, balance is important here too. Nodding too much can come across as insincere or even patronizing. So give a nod when it feels natural and appropriate in the context of the conversation.

Remember, being approachable isn’t just about seeming open to conversation; it’s about making others feel comfortable and valued when they’re speaking with you. And sometimes, a simple nod can go a long way in achieving that.

5) Smiling

There’s something profoundly human about a genuine smile. It’s a universal sign of warmth, friendliness, and goodwill. And, believe it or not, it has the power to make you instantly more approachable.

When you smile at someone, you’re conveying a host of positive emotions. You’re saying, “I’m happy to see you. I’m open to conversation. I’m friendly and welcoming.” It’s like a beacon of approachability that draws people in.

But it’s important to remember that a genuine smile can’t be faked. People can tell the difference between a sincere smile and a forced one. So don’t put on a show; let your smile come naturally. Let it be a reflection of your inner positivity.

Remember, your goal is to make others feel at ease around you. And nothing does that better than a warm, authentic smile. So go ahead and light up the room with your smile. You might be surprised at how many people it draws in!

6) Lowering your barriers

In our attempt to seem professional or composed, we often put up physical barriers that can make us seem unapproachable. For me, this used to be a habit of crossing my arms during conversations. I didn’t realize that this defensive stance was actually pushing people away.

Lowering your barriers means keeping your body language open and relaxed. This could mean uncrossing your arms, not hiding behind objects, and keeping your palms visible.

This gesture sends a signal of trust and openness. It shows that you’re comfortable in your own skin and open to engaging with others. It’s a subtle shift, but it can make a big difference in how approachable you appear to others.

So next time you’re in a social situation, take a moment to check in with your body language. Are you putting up barriers without even realizing it? If so, take a deep breath and let those barriers down. You’ll be amazed at how much more approachable you’ll seem.

7) Leaning in

Leaning in slightly during a conversation is another powerful way to seem more approachable. It shows that you’re actively engaged in the conversation and interested in what the other person has to say.

When you lean in, you’re essentially saying, “I’m here with you. I’m present and invested in this interaction.” It’s a physical manifestation of your emotional engagement.

But just like all the other gestures, it’s important to strike a balance. Lean in too much, and you might seem overly aggressive or invasive. Lean in too little, and you might seem disinterested or aloof.

So next time you’re engaged in a conversation, try leaning in slightly. Notice how it changes the dynamics of the interaction and makes you seem more approachable.

Remember, body language is all about subtlety and balance. It’s not about grand gestures but small shifts that can make a big difference in how others perceive you.

8) Being present

At the end of the day, the most important aspect of seeming approachable is being truly present in your interactions. It’s about being there, fully and completely, with the person you’re communicating with.

Being present means listening actively, responding genuinely, and showing real interest in what the other person is saying. It means setting aside distractions, making eye contact, and giving the other person your full attention.

When you’re truly present in a conversation, it shows. Your body language aligns with your words; your reactions are genuine and timely. And that authenticity can make you incredibly approachable.

Remember, people can sense when you’re genuinely interested and engaged versus when you’re just going through the motions. So make a conscious effort to be truly present in your interactions. It’s the most powerful way to seem approachable, and it’s something that no amount of body language tricks can replicate.

Final thoughts: It’s about connection

Delving into the realm of body language and approachability, we find ourselves exploring the essence of human connectivity.

The gestures we’ve discussed, from maintaining eye contact to embracing an open posture, are not just about appearing friendly or attracting attention. They’re about fostering genuine connections with the people around us.

American author and motivational speaker, Leo Buscaglia once said, “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”

These words ring true in our quest for approachability. The silent language of our bodies can speak volumes about our openness to others. It can invite people into our lives and make them feel valued and heard.

As you navigate through social interactions in your daily life, remember that your body language is more than just a set of gestures. It’s a powerful tool for connection. Use it wisely.

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