Understanding people and their social cues is a crucial part of communication. But there are times when, without realizing, some people use phrases that can give off a wrong impression.

This lack of awareness can often be attributed to poor social skills. This doesn’t mean they’re bad people, just that they might not be great at picking up or transmitting social cues.

According to psychology, there are certain phrases that people with underdeveloped social skills often use, without realizing how they’re being perceived by others.

In this article, we’re going to delve into these 9 phrases to shed some light on how they might be coming across to others.

Let’s get started. 

1) “I’m just being honest”

Navigating social situations requires a delicate balance, and one area where people with poor social skills often trip up is in their approach to honesty.

There’s no denying that honesty is a virtue. But when it’s used as an excuse to deliver unfiltered, harsh comments, it can come off as rude and inconsiderate. The phrase “I’m just being honest” is often used by people who lack social finesse, without realizing how abrasive it can sound.

Psychology tells us that communication is not just about what we say, but also how we say it.

It’s vital to consider the feelings of the person we’re speaking to.

Sometimes, a more tactful or empathetic approach can convey honesty without the accompanying sting.

2) “I don’t care what people think”

We’ve all had moments where we want to assert our independence, and I recall a time in my life when I thought the best way to do this was by loudly proclaiming, “I don’t care what people think!”

I believed it showed my strength and self-confidence. But little did I realize how dismissive and standoffish it made me appear.

Psychology tells us that while it’s healthy to not be overly concerned with others’ opinions, completely disregarding them can come across as arrogant or uncaring – neither of which are traits that endear us to others.

In hindsight, I now understand that there’s a difference between valuing your own opinion and completely dismissing the thoughts and feelings of others. 

3) “It’s not my fault”

Responsibility is a complex issue. Sometimes, we genuinely are victims of circumstance.

But more often, our actions play a role in the situation we find ourselves in.

The phrase “It’s not my fault” is a common refrain among people with poor social skills, who may not realize how it comes across.

According to studies in social psychology, consistently blaming external factors for our problems can make us appear irresponsible or even immature. It could imply that we lack accountability and are unable to take charge of our own actions.

When you’re tempted to say, “It’s not my fault,” consider whether you’re shying away from taking responsibility.

It might be worth reflecting on any role you might have played in the situation and what you could do differently next time.

4) “You’re too sensitive”

Navigating emotions is an essential part of social interaction, but sometimes, people with poor social skills might miss the mark. A common phrase that can cause misunderstanding is “You’re too sensitive.”

This phrase can immediately put the other person on the defensive. It’s as if their feelings are being invalidated or brushed off, which can lead to hurt and arguments.

In the world of psychology, emotional intelligence is highly valued. It involves understanding and respecting others’ emotions instead of dismissing them.

Before using the phrase “You’re too sensitive,” it might be worth considering if you’re truly acknowledging the other person’s feelings or just trying to avoid addressing an issue.

5) “That’s just how I am”

We all have unique personalities. These make us who we are, but they can also become a crutch when we’re called out for undesirable behavior. The phrase “That’s just how I am” is often used as a defense, without realizing how it can come across.

Psychology tells us that while it’s crucial to stay true to ourselves, using our personality as an excuse for inappropriate behavior can make us seem unapproachable or stubborn. It demonstrates resistance to change or growth.

Before falling back on the “That’s just how I am” retort, consider if there’s room for improvement or adjustment in your behavior to foster better social connections.

6) “No offense, but…”

We’ve all heard it, and maybe we’ve even used it ourselves. The phrase “No offense, but…” often precedes a statement that is, in fact, offensive or hurtful. People with poor social skills might use this phrase thinking it softens the blow of a harsh comment, without realizing how insincere it can sound.

The truth is, “No offense, but…” often signals to the listener that they’re about to be offended. It can come across as a lack of empathy or understanding.

In my heart, I believe we all have the capacity for kindness and consideration. Before using this phrase, it may be worth reflecting on whether there’s a more compassionate way to express your thoughts.

7) “Whatever”

During my teenage years, “Whatever” was my go-to response whenever I felt cornered or didn’t know how to express myself. It was an easy way out of uncomfortable conversations.

However, with time, I realized that this single word could come off as dismissive or disrespectful. It often seemed like I didn’t value the other person’s opinion or feelings.

Psychology tells us that active and respectful communication is key to healthy relationships.

Rather than resorting to “Whatever”, it’s much better to express our thoughts and feelings openly and honestly, even if it’s just to say that we need some time to think things over.

8) “It’s just a joke”

Humor is a great tool for social bonding, but sometimes, it can be misused. The phrase “It’s just a joke” is often used to dismiss someone’s hurt or discomfort caused by a seemingly funny remark.

Psychology shows us that such a dismissive attitude can make the other person feel invalidated and belittled. It’s essential to remember that humor is subjective, and what’s funny for one person might be offensive or hurtful to another.

Before brushing off someone’s reaction with “It’s just a joke,” consider if your humor might have crossed a line. Apologizing and adjusting your behavior can go a long way in maintaining healthy social interactions.

9) “Why can’t you be more like…”

The most crucial point to remember in social interactions is to respect everyone’s individuality. The phrase “Why can’t you be more like…” is often used without realizing how damaging it can be.

This statement directly implies comparison and can make the other person feel inadequate or undervalued. It’s important to remember that each one of us is unique and should be appreciated for who we are, rather than compared to others.

Before you find yourself about to utter this phrase, take a step back and appreciate the person in front of you for their unique traits and qualities. After all, our differences are what make us human.

Final Thoughts

Our words don’t just express our thoughts; they shape our relationships, our perception in the eyes of others, and ultimately, our social standing. It’s essential to remember that communication is not just about the message we’re trying to convey, but also how we say it and how it’s likely to be received.

The phrases we’ve discussed in this article might seem commonplace, but they can significantly impact how you come across to others. And often, the people using these phrases are not even aware of the negative impression they’re leaving.

Remember, social skills are just that – skills. They can be learned, improved, and refined over time. It all starts with self-awareness and a willingness to adapt and grow.

So next time you catch yourself using one of these phrases, pause for a moment. Consider how your words might be perceived and whether there’s a more empathetic or socially savvy way to express yourself.

Because at the end of the day, we all want to be understood and appreciated for who we are. And effective communication is an essential step towards achieving that goal.