If someone keeps talking about their ex, they’re likely dwelling in the past.

If they’re always speaking ill of others, they might not be the most trustworthy.

That’s the gist of social cues.

Yet, things aren’t always as simple. The art of conversation is a nuanced dance that requires tact and understanding.

It’s not always easy to pinpoint when someone’s social skills are lacking.

Some people, however, can spot it right away. And that’s because they pay attention to these 8 specific topics.

This is the brief intro for an article titled “If someone brings up these 8 topics in conversation, they lack basic social skills”.

As we dive into this analysis, bear in mind how subtle yet impactful our speech can be, and how it can influence our daily interactions, both in professional settings and personal relationships.

1) Excessive self-focus

Conversations are much like a seesaw.

They go up and down, back and forth, with the spotlight shifting from one person to another.

It’s a delicate balance that ensures both parties feel heard and valued.

But when someone consistently hogs the spotlight, steering every conversation back towards themselves, it’s a clear sign of poor social skills.

The person you’re conversing with may not realize it, but by constantly bringing the focus back to their own experiences or problems, they’re essentially signaling that they lack interest in others.

This can make interactions feel one-sided and exhausting.

If you notice this pattern in someone’s conversation, it might be a sign they need to work on their social abilities.

A good conversation is like a dance, where both parties take turns leading.

2) Overuse of controversial topics

Let me take you back to a dinner party I once attended.

There was this guy, let’s call him Bob. Now, Bob seemed like an interesting guy, always ready with a story or an opinion.

But, his choice of conversation topics? Less than ideal.

From the moment he sat down, Bob started discussing intensely controversial topics – from political scandals to religious debates.

He seemed oblivious of the discomfort rippling through the room as people shifted uneasily in their seats.

Yes, it’s important to discuss serious issues.

Bringing up such heavy topics in a social setting without considering the comfort and feelings of those around you?

That’s a clear sign of lacking basic social skills.

Remember, timing and context are key when choosing your conversation topics.

3) Obsessive negativity

Did you know that our brains are actually wired to focus more on negative experiences than positive ones? This is known as the negativity bias.

While this instinct can be helpful in some situations, it’s not exactly a social winner.

If someone consistently steers conversations towards negative topics – complaining about their life, criticizing others, or just generally spreading gloom – it can quickly become draining.

These individuals may not realize it, but their constant negativity can push people away, leading to isolation and even more negativity in the long run.

If you find someone who always seems to find a dark cloud for every silver lining, they may be lacking in basic social skills.

4) Unsolicited advice

Picture this – you’re sharing a personal situation or expressing your feelings, and the other person jumps in with advice that you never asked for.

Sounds familiar?

While their intentions might be good, offering unsolicited advice can be a sign of poor social skills.

It can come off as signifying that they know better or that your feelings aren’t valid, which can be quite disrespectful.

A conversation should be a safe space where both parties feel heard and understood.

If someone consistently offers advice without being asked, they may need to work on their social skills.

Sometimes people just need to vent, not a solution.

5) Ignoring non-verbal cues

I remember once talking to a friend about a difficult situation I was going through. I was visibly upset, my voice was shaky, and I kept looking away.

Despite these clear signs, my friend just kept on talking, completely oblivious to my discomfort.

It was as if all my non-verbal cues were invisible to her.

Ignoring non-verbal cues is a classic sign of lacking basic social skills.

These cues – like body language, tone of voice, or facial expressions – often communicate more than words do.

If I notice someone disregarding these signals during a conversation, it’s usually a clear indication that they need to work on their social skills.

After all, communication is about more than just words.

It’s about empathy and understanding as well.

6) Avoiding personal topics

Surprisingly, steering clear of all personal topics might not be as savvy a move as one might think.

You see, sharing personal experiences or feelings can help to build connections and deepen relationships.

If someone always keeps conversations superficial and never shares anything about themselves, it can be a sign of lacking basic social skills.

People might perceive them as distant or untrustworthy which can hinder the building of meaningful relationships.

A healthy conversation involves a balance between personal and non-personal topics. It’s about letting others in while respecting boundaries.

7) Dominating the conversation

Imagine you’re in a group conversation and one person keeps interrupting, talking over others, or simply not giving anyone else a chance to speak.

It’s frustrating, isn’t it?

Such behavior is a clear indicator of poor social skills. Conversation is a two-way street.

It requires listening as much as speaking, if not more.

If someone consistently dominates conversations, they’re essentially signaling that they value their own voice more than others’.

This can easily lead to others feeling unheard or unimportant.

If you come across someone who can’t seem to stop talking, they might need to work on their social skills.

After all, good conversation is about give and take.

8) Constantly changing the subject

The most important thing to remember is that conversations require a certain degree of focus.

If someone constantly changes the topic, especially when it’s getting a bit too personal or uncomfortable, it’s a sign of poor social skills.

People who do this are essentially avoiding deep connections and meaningful conversations, which are the backbone of any strong relationship.

It’s like they’re running away from intimacy, from truly getting to know others and letting others in.

This behavior can make others feel dismissed or unimportant.

Staying on topic and engaging in deep conversations is crucial for good social skills.

It shows that you’re genuinely interested in others and that you value their thoughts and feelings.

Wrapping up

Hopefully, after reading through these eight points, you’ll have a better understanding of what constitutes basic social skills.

Having good social skills does not mean you have to be the life of the party or a social butterfly.

It’s about respect, empathy, and understanding – being able to listen and respond appropriately, being attentive to other’s feelings, and maintaining a balance in conversation.

In essence, it’s about recognizing the value of each individual in a conversation. That every voice holds a unique perspective, a unique story.

And if you can do that, you’re not just someone with good social skills. You’re likely someone people would want to talk to and be around.

Because at the end of the day, isn’t that what we all want? To be heard, understood, and valued.

Let’s all try to be that person for others – the one who listens more than talks, who understands more than judges, and who values more than dismisses.

After all, conversations are what make us human, and it’s in these exchanges that we truly connect with each other.