8 things to keep to yourself if you want people to respect you, according to psychology

If you’ve ever wondered why some people command respect effortlessly, while others struggle, you’re not alone.
The answer often lies in the subtle art of self-disclosure: knowing what to share and, importantly, what to keep to yourself.
As someone who’s spent a considerable amount of time digging into the intricacies of human behavior and psychology, I can tell you that there are certain things that, when kept private, can significantly boost how others perceive you.
This isn’t about being secretive or dishonest.
It’s about understanding the psychological principles that govern respect and using them to your advantage.
In this article, we’ll uncover these hidden gems. Get ready to change the way people see you – for the better.
1) Your every accomplishment
We all love to succeed, don’t we? It’s natural to feel a sense of pride in our achievements and want to share them with those around us.
But here’s the thing: not every accomplishment needs to be broadcasted.
People are more likely to respect those who show humility.
And, paradoxically, talking too much about your accomplishments can sometimes lead others to perceive you as boastful or even arrogant.
This can create a barrier, making it harder for them to connect with you on a deeper level.
It’s not about hiding your achievements or downplaying your success. It’s about understanding when and where to share them.
Sometimes, letting others discover your talents and accomplishments naturally over time can have a much stronger impact.
By keeping your achievements to yourself, you allow people to respect you for who you are, not just for what you’ve done.
And this kind of respect is more meaningful and enduring.
It’s the kind of respect that’s based on genuine admiration rather than simply being impressed by a list of achievements.
Keep in mind, modesty is a virtue. And it’s one that can earn you a great deal of respect.
2) Your personal goals
Setting personal goals is an essential part of growing and improving.
We often feel compelled to share these goals with others, believing that doing so might motivate us to achieve them.
But here’s a twist: Psychology suggests it might be better to keep your personal goals to yourself.
Sharing your goals can create a premature sense of accomplishment.
As soon as you announce your goal, you might feel a rush of satisfaction.
You feel one step closer to achieving it, even though you haven’t made any real progress.
Moreover, once you share your goal, it’s out there in the open for everyone to see.
This can add unnecessary pressure and stress. You might start focusing more on how others perceive your progress rather than the progress itself.
Next time you set a personal goal, consider keeping it private. Work on it quietly and let your eventual success make the noise.
This not only increases your chances of achieving the goal but also earns you respect for your dedication and resilience.
3) Your charitable deeds
Helping others is a beautiful thing. It’s a reflection of your kindness and compassion.
But when it comes to gaining respect, the manner in which you share your good deeds can make all the difference.
When people hear about your charitable acts, they should hear it from others, not from you.
The reason for this is that self-promotion can often overshadow the deed itself, leading people to question your motives.
Individuals who perform good deeds in silence are viewed as more likable and trustworthy.
It’s seen as a sign of genuine kindness, where the act is done for its own sake and not for recognition or reward.
So, next time you do something good, resist the urge to announce it.
Let others discover it on their own. You’ll be surprised at how much more respect this approach can earn you.
4) The mistakes of others
We all stumble and fall at times. It’s part of being human.
And when we see someone else make a mistake, it’s crucial to remember that we’ve been there too.
It can be tempting to discuss others’ mistakes, especially if we believe we could have avoided them.
But sharing these errors with others doesn’t help anyone. Instead, it can harm relationships and foster negativity.
When you keep the mistakes of others to yourself, you’re showing empathy and understanding.
You’re demonstrating that you know everyone has off days and that it’s not your place to highlight them.
Instead of focusing on the missteps of others, let’s concentrate on lifting each other up.
Because at the end of the day, we’re all trying our best, and respect blooms when we acknowledge that in each other.
5) Family or relationship drama
Let’s face it: everyone has had their fair share of family or relationship drama at some point.
It’s a common part of life that we all navigate through.
Sharing these personal issues with others can sometimes do more harm than good.
It might make others uncomfortable, or worse, they might judge you or the people involved unfairly.
Keeping your family or relationship drama to yourself doesn’t mean you’re bottling up your emotions.
It’s about choosing the right person and the right time to discuss these matters.
In most cases, that person could be a trusted friend, a family member, or a professional counselor.
By doing so, you’re showing maturity and respect for the privacy of your loved ones.
And in turn, others will respect you for your discretion and integrity.
6) Financial status
Money is a delicate subject. Whether you’re doing exceptionally well or facing financial struggles, it’s generally best to keep such matters private.
For example, let’s say you’ve just received a significant raise at your job.
It’s an exciting moment and you might be tempted to share the news with everyone.
But, doing so can create a divide, sparking jealousy or creating undue pressure for others to keep up.
On the other hand, if you’re facing financial difficulty, sharing this information broadly might lead people to view you differently or even take advantage of your situation.
Respecting the privacy of your own financial status not only maintains harmony among your peers but also protects you from potential judgments or assumptions.
It shows that you understand the value of discretion when it comes to sensitive topics, which is a trait highly respected by others.
7) Gossip
We’ve all been drawn into a juicy piece of gossip at some point. But let’s be clear here: gossiping is a habit that needs to be kicked to the curb.
Sharing gossip might give you a momentary thrill, but it’s a fleeting pleasure that can cause lasting damage.
It breaks trust, hurts feelings, and can even ruin relationships.
If you’re known as someone who gossips, people won’t trust you with their personal stories or their secrets.
Instead of spreading gossip, strive to be someone who spreads positivity.
Be the person who steers the conversation away from rumor and speculation and towards something more uplifting and productive.
Respect is earned by those who show respect towards others.
And respecting someone’s privacy is one of the most fundamental ways to do that.
8) Negative opinions about others
We all have opinions about the people we interact with. Sometimes, these opinions might not be favorable.
But remember this: voicing negative opinions about others doesn’t elevate you – it diminishes you.
When you share negative thoughts or criticisms about others, it reflects more on your character than on the person you’re talking about.
It can make you seem judgmental and unkind, which can drastically affect how others perceive and respect you.
Choosing not to voice negative opinions about others is a sign of maturity and wisdom.
It shows that you understand the value of kindness and respect. And rest assured, this understanding won’t go unnoticed.
In conclusion, gaining respect isn’t about suppressing who you are.
It’s about being mindful of what you share and how it might impact those around you.
Because at the end of the day, respect is a reflection of how you treat others and yourself.
Final thoughts
The journey to gaining respect isn’t about hiding parts of yourself or silencing your voice.
It’s about understanding the power of discretion and the impact your words can have.
This article is here to guide you in identifying the areas where a little discretion can go a long way in enhancing how others perceive you.
Remember, the choice is always yours.
Time spent self-reflecting and improving communication is an investment in yourself and your relationships.
Being truly respected means having the wisdom to know that your words and actions shape how others see you.
It’s about being brave enough to choose respect over momentary attention.
Here’s to building stronger, more respectful relationships and living a life that truly reflects who you are!