Let’s talk about communication. It’s a two-way street, right? But sometimes, it’s not just about what you say, but how you say it.

Using the wrong phrases can turn a harmless conversation into a disaster. It could even suggest you lack solid communication skills.

In this article, I’ll share with you 10 phrases that, when used, often come across as poor communication.

If you catch yourself using these, don’t fret! We’re here to help improve your conversation game. 

Let’s dive in. 

1) Whatever

We’ve all been in conversations where we’re trying to express our viewpoint or seek advice, and the response we get is a dismissive “Whatever”.

This one-word retort is a conversation killer. It comes across as nonchalant and disinterested, indicating a lack of respect for the other person’s perspective. It’s a clear sign of poor communication skills.

The essence of good communication is active engagement, showing interest, and validating the other person’s thoughts and feelings. The phrase “whatever” does the complete opposite.

If you find this word slipping out of your mouth more often than not, it might be time to reconsider your conversation style. Remember, good communicators encourage dialogue and show respect for others’ viewpoints.

2) You always…

Let me take you back to a time when I was having a disagreement with my friend. Mid-conversation, I found myself saying “You always do this!” Immediately, I could see her defenses go up.

The phrase “You always…” is a quick way to put someone on the defensive. It feels accusatory and often exaggerates the issue at hand.

In my case, using this phrase escalated the disagreement and halted any constructive dialogue. It was a lightbulb moment for me about the impact of my words.

If you find yourself using this phrase, pause. Try to express your feelings without resorting to blanket statements. Replace “You always…” with “I feel…” or “I’ve observed…”. It’s a small change that can significantly improve your communication skills.

3) It’s not my fault

Ever heard someone say “It’s not my fault” in a conversation? This phrase often stems from a desire to shift blame rather than take responsibility for one’s actions. It can make conversations feel more like a battlefield than a platform for open dialogue and understanding.

People who readily admit their mistakes and take responsibility are often perceived as more likable and trustworthy. On the flip side, using phrases like “It’s not my fault” can lead to damaged relationships, loss of trust, and even hinder personal growth.

If you find yourself wanting to use this phrase, pause for a moment. Consider owning up to your part in the situation. Doing so can enhance your credibility and improve your communication skills.

4) No offense, but…

“No offense, but…” is a phrase that often precedes an offensive or hurtful statement. It’s a way of shielding oneself from the repercussions of what they’re about to say.

The problem with this phrase is that it doesn’t really soften the blow. Instead, it signals to the listener that they should brace themselves for something potentially unpleasant.

Good communicators are mindful of their words and strive to express their thoughts in a considerate and respectful manner. If you’re about to say something that requires a disclaimer, it might be worth rethinking your words or approach.

It’s not just about what we say but how we say it. Excellence in communication often comes from the ability to deliver even difficult messages in a respectful and constructive manner.

5) But I…

Starting a sentence with “But I…” often comes off as defensive or dismissive. It tends to shut down the other person’s viewpoint and shifts the focus back onto oneself.

For example, if someone expresses a concern and your immediate response is “But I…”, it can feel like you’re negating their feelings or experiences. It often prevents a two-way dialogue and hinders the ability to reach understanding or resolution.

As an alternative, try using phrases like “I understand your perspective. From my point of view…” This validates the other person’s feelings while also allowing you to express your own. Improving how we respond in conversations can greatly enhance our communication skills.

6) I don’t care

“I don’t care” is a phrase that can be quite damaging in a conversation. It often communicates indifference, dismissiveness, or a lack of empathy towards the other person’s thoughts or feelings.

In one of my most cherished friendships, we had a rule: No matter how heated the argument, we would never say “I don’t care”. We understood the power of these words and how they could deeply hurt the other person.

Expressing our feelings can be difficult, especially in tense situations. However, it’s crucial to communicate in a way that upholds respect and empathy. Instead of saying “I don’t care”, try expressing your feelings more openly and honestly. Remember, every word we use has the power to strengthen or weaken our relationships.

7) I knew that

“I knew that” is a phrase I used to use quite often, especially when someone shared something new with me. I thought it made me appear knowledgeable, but I soon realized it actually closed off opportunities for learning and conversation.

Saying “I knew that” can come across as dismissive or know-it-all, shutting down the other person’s attempt to share or contribute to the conversation. It can also prevent us from gaining new insights or perspectives.

Now, instead of jumping in with “I knew that”, I try to respond with something like “That’s interesting” or “Tell me more”. This opens up the conversation and shows appreciation for the other person’s input. It’s a small change, but one that has greatly improved my communication skills.

8) Just saying

“Just saying” is a phrase that’s often used to soften the blow of a blunt or critical statement. However, rather than making the comment less harsh, it can actually undermine the sincerity of what’s being said.

It might seem like a harmless addition to your statement, but it can create a sense of ambiguity and confusion. It leaves the other person wondering whether you’re genuinely expressing an opinion or just trying to provoke a reaction.

Instead of tagging on “just saying” at the end of your statement, try to communicate your thoughts clearly and respectfully from the start. It’s all about being direct yet tactful, which might seem challenging, but is key to effective communication.

9) That’s stupid

Calling someone’s idea or opinion “stupid” is a surefire way to shut down a conversation. Not only is it disrespectful, but it also discourages open dialogue and makes the other person less likely to share their thoughts in the future.

Labeling someone’s thoughts as “stupid” shows a lack of empathy and consideration for their feelings. It’s important to remember that everyone is entitled to their opinions, even if they differ from ours.

Instead of resorting to name-calling, try expressing your disagreement in a more constructive way. Phrases like “I see things differently” or “Let’s agree to disagree” can allow you to express your viewpoint without belittling the other person’s opinion. It encourages respectful and productive conversation, which is crucial for good communication skills.

10) I’m fine

“I’m fine” is perhaps one of the most overused phrases in conversations. It’s often used to mask our true feelings, especially when we’re anything but fine.

While it might seem like the easier option to avoid expressing our true feelings, saying “I’m fine” when we’re not can lead to miscommunication and misunderstandings. It can prevent us from having meaningful and honest conversations.

The key to effective communication is honesty and openness. If we’re not okay, it’s important to express that, even if it feels difficult. It’s okay to be vulnerable, and expressing our true feelings can lead to deeper understanding and stronger connections with others.

Final thoughts: It’s all about growth

The phrases we’ve discussed may be indicators of poor communication skills, but they’re also opportunities for learning and improvement. Recognizing and acknowledging these habits can be the first step towards enhancing your communication skills.

Remember, it’s not just about avoiding these phrases. It’s about fostering empathy, openness, and respect in our conversations. It’s about understanding that every word we utter has the power to build or break relationships.

As the renowned author Stephen R. Covey once said, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” Let’s strive to be the ones who truly listen, who communicate with clarity and compassion, and who continuously seek to improve our conversational craft.

Because at the end of the day, effective communication is more than just an exchange of words – it’s a bridge that connects us to each other.