Navigating the complexities of human behavior can often feel like traversing through a labyrinth. Observing someone’s actions, words, and attitudes, you might find yourself questioning their true character.

You might wonder, are they genuinely trustworthy or is it all a facade? Do they possess integrity and authenticity or are they just good at pretending?

Unmasking the true character of a person can be challenging, but it’s not impossible. After considerable observation and experience dealing with different personalities, I’ve compiled a list of 10 behaviors that act as red flags.

If someone consistently exhibits these behaviors, they might be lacking in integrity and authenticity. Recognizing these traits can be the first step towards understanding if the person in question is genuinely trustworthy or merely a master of deception.

1) They’re inconsistent

One of the key signs that someone lacks integrity and authenticity is inconsistency in their words and actions. 

A person who says one thing but does another, whose words and actions don’t align with their proclaimed values, may lack integrity and authenticity.

When someone constantly changes their stance, their opinions, or even their promises based on convenience, they give too much power to their circumstances. They undermine their own integrity.

This is the kind of behavior you might notice in people who don’t hold themselves to the same standards they hold others to. For instance, they might criticize others for being late but frequently show up late themselves.

Inconsistency is also common among those who make promises they don’t intend to keep. They might promise to help you but never follow through. They could pledge to change but remain the same. When they don’t walk the talk or their words don’t match their actions, they slip into a pattern of inconsistency. 

True authenticity comes from demonstrating a consistent pattern of behavior. Frequently making and then breaking promises or commitments is a sign of unreliability and lack of integrity. As this popular saying goes:

“Consistency is the true foundation of trust. Either keep your promises or do not make them.”

Inconsistency is definitely something to look out for when evaluating a person’s character.

2) They’re not accountable

Another behavior that might indicate a lack of integrity and authenticity is a lack of accountability.

I remember an instance with a former colleague of mine. Let’s call him John. John was always quick to take credit for the success of our team projects, but whenever something went wrong, he was nowhere to be found.

One time, a project we were working on didn’t meet the client’s expectations. Instead of owning up to his part in the failure, John quickly shifted the blame onto other team members, including me, even though he was the one who led the project.

This kind of behavior, refusing to take responsibility for one’s actions and instead shifting the blame onto others, is a clear sign that someone lacks both integrity and authenticity. It shows an unwillingness to be held accountable for their actions and a readiness to let others take the fall.

3) They are dishonest and hypocritical

Dishonesty can manifest in various forms, such as outright lying, omitting important information, exaggerating, misrepresenting the truth or even hypocrisy and manipulation.

Regardless of the form it takes, dishonest behavior is generally seen as incompatible with the qualities of integrity and authenticity.

Dishonesty is a direct breach of truthfulness and integrity. It can be a singular act or a pattern of behavior. The primary element here is the deviation from the truth, whether by falsifying information, exaggerating, or withholding important facts.

Dishonest or deceptive behaviors rears its ugly head in various ways, including manipulation. Manipulation involves controlling others to serve one’s own interests, often at the expense of the other person’s well-being. 

Authentic, integrity-filled individuals respect others and value honest, equal relationships. If you notice someone willingly manipulating truths and facts for their advantage, or exploiting situations or people for their personal gain, it’s a clear indicator that they lack integrity. 

Dishonest behaviors also translate to hypocrisy, acting in ways that contradict their stated beliefs or principles. 

Hypocrisy is a form of dishonesty that relates specifically to claiming to have certain beliefs, standards, or principles that one’s own behavior does not conform to. Hypocrisy involves a disconnect between what one professes and how one acts. 

In some cases, hypocrisy can stem from a form of dishonesty with oneself. A person might genuinely believe in certain principles but fail to recognize or admit how their actions contradict these principles.

Dishonesty, in one form or another, undermines trust and impact a person’s perceived authenticity and integrity. 

4) They crave attention

Being in the limelight can be exhilarating. It’s natural to enjoy the feeling of being admired or appreciated. However, when someone constantly crave attention, it might indicate a lack of authenticity and integrity.

If a person is always trying to grab the spotlight, always talking about their achievements, or always wanting to be the center of attention, it could be a sign that they are overcompensating for something they lack.

Authentic people are secure in their self-worth. They don’t need constant validation from others to feel good about themselves. They understand that recognition and appreciation will come naturally when deserved, and don’t feel the need to chase it.

So if you notice someone who is constantly seeking attention, it might be worth taking a closer look. It could be a sign that they lack integrity and authenticity in their character.

5) They’re not transparent

Transparency is a significant characteristic of people who are authentic and have integrity. They are open and honest about their thoughts, feelings, and actions.

But those lacking in integrity and authenticity often hide behind a veil of secrecy. They might withhold information, avoid answering direct questions, or even lie to cover up their actions.

For example, if someone is always vague about their whereabouts or activities, or if they frequently change their story, this could be a sign that they’re not being transparent.

And lack of transparency often points to a lack of integrity and authenticity. After all, if you’re being true to yourself and others, there’s no need to hide.

6) They don’t respect boundaries

Respecting others’ boundaries is a fundamental aspect of integrity and authenticity. It shows that you value and honor other people’s feelings, needs, and rights.

But when someone doesn’t respect your boundaries, it can feel like a deep betrayal. This person might repeatedly cross lines that you’ve clearly outlined, whether they’re emotional, physical, or otherwise.

For example, if you’ve expressed that you need some space and time alone, but they insist on intruding on your personal time or space, it’s a clear violation of your boundaries.

This lack of respect for boundaries isn’t just hurtful—it’s a sign that the person may lack integrity and authenticity. They’re showing that they’re willing to disregard your needs for their own desires or convenience. And that’s not the behavior of someone who is truly authentic or has genuine integrity.

7) They’re not reliable

Reliability is a cornerstone of integrity and authenticity. People who are reliable follow through on their promises and commitments.

But those who lack integrity tend to make false promises. They often cancel plans at the last minute, fail to meet deadlines, or simply not do what they said they would.

I remember once I had a friend who was always full of big promises. “I’ll help you move this weekend,” he’d say, or “Let’s grab lunch next week, my treat.” It sounded great at the time, but more often than not, he’d cancel at the last minute or conveniently forget his promises.

This kind of behavior is a classic sign of a lack of integrity and authenticity. When someone makes a promise, they should do their best to keep it. If not, it shows they’re not genuine and can’t be relied on.

Reliability is about showing people that they can trust you to be there when you say you will. If someone consistently shows that they’re not reliable, it could be an indication that they lack both integrity and authenticity.

8) They lack empathy

People with integrity and authenticity typically have a strong sense of empathy and don’t dismiss others’ feelings and needs. 

On the flip side, showing little to no empathy or understanding for others’ feelings or situations suggests a self-centered approach and a lack of authentic connection with others.

For example, if someone consistently talks about their own experiences and agendas without showing interest in yours, or if they always want things to go their way and regularly brushes off your concerns as unimportant or invalid, they are likely displaying self-centered behavior.

The lack of consideration for others is a strong indication of a lack of integrity and authenticity.

9) They lack humility

Humility, the ability to acknowledge our mistakes and limitations, is a vital part of integrity and authenticity.

People with these qualities are capable of admitting when they’re wrong and are open to learning from their mistakes. They don’t let their egos get in the way of their growth and relationships.

Conversely, individuals who lack humility often refuse to admit their mistakes or accept responsibility for their actions. They might also have a tendency to boast about their achievements and abilities or downplay those of others.

If someone is unable to show humility, it’s a clear sign of a lack of integrity and authenticity. Because at the heart of these traits is the understanding that we are all human, all fallible, and all deserving of respect.

10) They are overly charming

Charm can be disarming. When someone is charismatic, it’s easy to be drawn to them, to find yourself swept up in their energy and enthusiasm. However, excessive charm can sometimes be a smokescreen for a lack of authenticity and integrity.

While it might seem strange to view charm as a potential red flag, it’s worth noting that charm can often be used as a tool for manipulation. Those who lack authenticity may use their charm to win people over, to distract from their true intentions or to mask their lack of integrity.

A genuinely authentic person doesn’t need the constant approval of others, and they won’t resort to excessive charm to gain it. They are comfortable in their skin and don’t feel the need to put on a performance for others.

So if someone is laying on the charm a little too thick, it could be a sign that they’re not as sincere as they seem.

Final thoughts: It all comes down to character

The essence of a person’s character is often revealed in their behaviors. And when it comes to integrity and authenticity, these are not traits that can be faked for long. 

Integrity is about being honest and having strong moral principles. It’s about doing what is right, even when no one is watching or when it’s not the easy path to take. A person with integrity is reliable. They stand by their commitments and don’t compromise their values for temporary gain.

Authenticity, on the other hand, is about being true to oneself. It’s about embracing who you are, acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses, and not pretending to be someone you’re not. Authentic people don’t hide behind facades or masks; they present their true selves to the world, even if it means showing their vulnerabilities.

Our actions, more than our words, are a true reflection of our character. This means that someone’s behavior will eventually reveal whether they possess integrity and authenticity.

In a world where appearances can often be deceiving, it becomes crucial to identify these traits in others. Recognizing a lack of integrity and authenticity in others can protect us from manipulation and deceit. At the same time, nurturing these qualities within ourselves can lead to a more fulfilling life characterized by genuine relationships and self-respect.

As we navigate our relationships, let’s remember to look beyond the surface. Let’s pay attention to these behaviors – not just in others, but in ourselves as well. Because at the end of the day, our actions shape who we are. They define our character and determine how we interact with the world around us.

And isn’t that a reflection worth striving for?