Avoiding eye contact, constantly fidgeting… These are both signs of discomfort.

We’ve all found ourselves in situations like these, where we sense that someone isn’t quite at ease around us.

But true discomfort goes beyond just anxious habits.

According to psychology, there are key body language signs that indicate a person is genuinely uncomfortable around you.

Signs of discomfort

Psychology has identified several clear body language signs that someone may be uncomfortable around you.

Recognizing these signs can help you adjust your behavior or approach to put them at ease.

• Crossed arms or legs, a classic sign of defensiveness and discomfort.
• Lack of eye contact or excessive blinking, which may indicate they are feeling anxious or intimidated.
• Fidgeting, such as playing with a piece of clothing or an object, often signifies nervousness.
• Physical distancing, as they may instinctively try to create a barrier between the two of you.
• Short responses or a lack of participation in the conversation may suggest they are not at ease.
• Touching their face or neck, which is a common self-soothing behavior when someone is uncomfortable.
• Frequent sighing, as this can be a sign of emotional discomfort.
• Avoidance of physical contact, such as recoiling from a handshake or hug.
• An unusual amount of looking at the clock or their phone, indicating they are eager to leave.

As with many aspects of human behavior, the degree of discomfort someone feels can vary greatly.

Nevertheless, recognizing the signs that someone is uncomfortable around you can provide valuable insight into your interactions and help you navigate social scenarios more effectively.

Let’s discuss these signs in depth so you know what to look out for how to respond:

1) Crossed arms or legs

A common body language sign that someone may be uncomfortable around you is when they cross their arms or legs.

This defensive posture can indicate that they are feeling closed off or uneasy.

It’s a subtle sign that their body is subconsciously trying to shield itself from a perceived threat—in this case, the discomfort of the interaction.

2) Lack of eye contact

When people are uncomfortable or feel anxious, they often avoid making eye contact.

This is a subconscious attempt to create distance or disengage from the interaction.

If someone is consistently avoiding your gaze, it could be a sign that they are feeling uneasy around you.

3) Fidgeting

Frequent fidgeting, such as tapping feet, playing with objects, or adjusting clothing, is a clear indication of discomfort. This restless behavior suggests that the person is feeling anxious and uneasy in your presence.

4) Overly enthusiastic nodding

While nodding usually signifies agreement or understanding, overly enthusiastic nodding can actually be a sign of discomfort.

When someone is uneasy, they might overcompensate by nodding excessively to appear more engaged or agreeable than they truly feel.

5) Short or monosyllabic responses

If someone is giving you short, curt answers or only communicating in monosyllables, they’re likely not feeling comfortable.

This minimal interaction is a protective measure, a way to prevent further engagement or discussion that might amplify their discomfort. 

6) Frequent sighing

Frequent sighing can be a gentle, empathetic sign that someone is bearing an emotional weight or discomfort in your presence.

This shows they’re releasing the tension or stress they’re feeling through their breath.

If you notice this behavior, it’s a good opportunity to kindly address the situation or change the topic to something more comfortable for them.

7) Constantly checking their phone

We’ve all been stuck in an awkward conversation or situation, trying to find refuge on the screen of our phones.

So, if someone is frequently glancing at their phone while talking to you, it could be a sign that they’re feeling uncomfortable and are looking for a distraction or potential escape route from the conversation.

8) Talking too fast

Sometimes, when we’re a bit anxious or uncomfortable, we might start to talk a mile a minute.

It’s as if our words are trying to keep up with our racing thoughts.

So if you notice someone chattering away at speed, they might just be feeling a little uneasy around you.

9) Avoidance of physical contact

If someone seems to recoil or step back when you go for a handshake, hug, or even a friendly pat on the back, it’s time to face the hard truth – they’re likely uncomfortable around you.

Personal space is a big deal for many people, and unwanted physical contact can amplify feelings of unease.

Pay attention to these signals and respect their boundaries—it’s the decent thing to do.

10) Overall body stiffness

When someone is uncomfortable, their body tends to tighten up as a part of the fight-or-flight response.

If you notice that a person seems rigid or tense around you, consider it a significant sign of their discomfort.

Understanding and responding to discomfort

If you’ve recognized these signs in someone around you, it’s time for a moment of reflection.

Dealing with someone who’s uncomfortable can be challenging, but it’s important to remember that their discomfort isn’t necessarily about you.

As renowned psychologist Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne explains, “People often feel uncomfortable in social situations because of internal factors, such as low self-esteem or social anxiety.”

The best response when you notice these signs is not to withdraw or overreact, but to simply be kind and understanding.

Adjust your behavior if needed, give them space if they seem to need it, or engage in lighter topics that might help them relax.

Keep in mind that the goal isn’t to make you feel guilty or uncomfortable, but to help you foster more empathetic and considerate interactions.

But remember, it’s not your responsibility to fix anyone’s discomfort. What you can do is create an environment that respects everyone’s comfort levels.

This article isn’t meant to make you paranoid about every interaction you have. It’s about acknowledging that everyone has different comfort levels, and being aware of the signs can help create more meaningful and comfortable interactions.

It’s a step towards creating a world where we’re more attuned to each other’s feelings.