8 phrases men use when they lack basic communication skills, according to psychology

Avatar by Lachlan Brown | September 11, 2024, 7:56 pm

Communication is crucial, but let’s face it, not everyone’s a natural.

When it comes to men, there are certain phrases that psychology tells us can indicate a lack of basic communication skills. And believe me, they can be quite revealing.

Now don’t get me wrong, not all men are poor communicators. But for those who struggle, their choice of words often gives them away.

So what are these phrases? Let’s dive in and explore “8 phrases men use when they lack basic communication skills, according to psychology”.

1) “I don’t know”

Communication is a two-way street, and sometimes, the road gets a little bumpy.

According to psychology, a common phrase used by men struggling with communication skills is “I don’t know”. Now, of course, there’s nothing wrong with not knowing something.

But when it’s used as a go-to phrase, it may indicate an unwillingness to engage in meaningful conversation or express feelings and thoughts.

This phrase often serves as a refuge for those who find it hard to articulate their thoughts or emotions. It’s like a quick escape hatch from having to delve deeper into a discussion or share personal insights.

It could be a sign of someone grappling with basic communication skills. But remember, understanding is the first step to improvement!

2) “Whatever”

Another phrase that’s a red flag in my book is “whatever”.

I remember a time when an old friend of mine would constantly use this phrase in our conversations. At first, I shrugged it off as him just being casual. But as time went on, I noticed it was his default response whenever we delved into deeper topics or when he was faced with making decisions.

“Whatever” can often indicate a lack of interest, an unwillingness to engage, or even a passive-aggressive way of expressing discontent. It’s a dismissive phrase that shuts down any potential for meaningful dialogue or problem-solving.

In my friend’s case, it was clear he was struggling with expressing his thoughts and feelings. Over time, we worked on it together, and he gradually improved his communication skills.

But that experience taught me that “whatever” can often be a cry for help in disguise.

3) “It’s fine”

When it comes to communication, “It’s fine” can sometimes be far from fine.

Often used as a quick response to avoid confrontation or deeper discussion, “It’s fine” can be a mask for underlying feelings of discontent or frustration. It’s a phrase that allows someone to maintain a facade while avoiding the root of an issue.

Psychology tells us that people who frequently use this phrase might be employing a coping mechanism known as suppression, where they push away unsettling thoughts or emotions to avoid dealing with them.

Ironically, studies have shown that suppression can actually increase stress levels.

While “It’s fine” might seem like an easy way out of a tricky conversation, it could be doing more harm than good in the long run.

4) “Let’s talk about this later”

“Let’s talk about this later” is a phrase that, when used excessively, can indicate a struggle with communication.

While there are definitely times when it’s appropriate to postpone a conversation, using this phrase as a default response can be problematic. It can indicate a reluctance to face uncomfortable discussions or a difficulty in managing emotional responses in real-time.

Using “Let’s talk about this later” as a stalling tactic avoids resolution and can lead to feelings of frustration and unresolved tension. Communication is about facing issues head-on and not sweeping them under the rug for later.

5) “It’s not a big deal”

Sometimes, the phrase “It’s not a big deal” can be a big deal in itself.

When something clearly matters to you or affects you deeply, and it’s dismissed with “It’s not a big deal”, it can feel like your feelings are being invalidated.

This phrase can often be used by those who struggle with empathy or understanding the emotional weight of a situation. It can be a sign of them trying to avoid confronting their own feelings or understanding yours.

Everyone’s feelings are valid. If something is a big deal to you, then it deserves to be acknowledged and discussed, regardless of how others may perceive it.

6) “I’m fine”

“I’m fine” is a phrase we’ve all used at some point. But when it becomes a regular response, it could signify a communication issue.

I recall a time in my life when I used this phrase frequently, often as a response to anyone asking how I was doing. I was going through a difficult phase, and instead of expressing my feelings or seeking support, I would just say “I’m fine”.

In hindsight, I realize that I was avoiding the vulnerability that comes with expressing true emotions. By saying “I’m fine”, I was cutting off any potential for open conversation about my struggles.

This phrase can be a shield, protecting us from exposing our true feelings. But remember, it’s okay to not be fine and it’s important to communicate that with those around us.

7) “Don’t worry about it”

“Don’t worry about it” is another phrase that can indicate a lack of communication skills.

This phrase is often used to dismiss concerns or avoid explanation. It can be an indication of someone not wanting to delve into details or confront potential problems.

While it’s intended to alleviate worry, it can actually lead to more concern. Without open and clear communication, assumptions can be made, leading to potential misunderstandings or confusion.

In a healthy conversation, concerns should be addressed and discussed openly, not brushed aside with a “Don’t worry about it”.

8) “Nothing’s wrong”

Perhaps one of the most telling phrases is “Nothing’s wrong”.

When used in the context of someone clearly demonstrating signs of discomfort, upset, or frustration, this phrase can indicate a serious communication barrier. It’s a clear sign of someone struggling to express their feelings or articulate what’s troubling them.

Communication is key in any relationship. If something is wrong, it’s important to voice it out and address it – because only when we acknowledge our feelings can we start to work through them.

Final thoughts: It’s a journey

Communication is a complex process, deeply ingrained in our psyche and influenced by various factors, including our upbringing, experiences, and inherent personality traits.

When it comes to men and communication, it’s essential to remember that these phrases are not definitive proof of poor communication skills but rather potential indicators.

Understanding these signs is the first step towards growth and development. Change doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a journey, often filled with self-discovery and learning.

Like any other skill, communication can be improved over time. With patience, understanding, and a genuine willingness to evolve, anyone can enhance their ability to express themselves effectively and connect more deeply with others.

Remember, it’s not about assigning blame or dwelling on weaknesses, but acknowledging them as areas of potential growth. After all, the beauty of being human lies in our capacity to learn, adapt, and evolve.

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