Respect is a fascinating thing. It’s not something you can demand, it’s earned.

And believe it or not, there are small habits you can adopt that can really turn the tides in your favor, and psychology backs this up.

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit and an enthusiast of mindfulness and Buddhism. I’ve spent years examining human interactions and the dynamics of respect. Here’s the kicker – it’s often the little things that make a huge difference.

In this piece, I’m going to share with you 10 simple habits that can help you gain instant respect from others.

And remember, these aren’t tricks or manipulations – they’re about genuine connection and understanding.

Let’s get started. 

1) Mindful listening

One of the most significant habits that can immediately garner respect is mindful listening.

In our fast-paced society, truly being heard and understood is rare. We’re often so busy formulating our own response that we fail to fully hear what the other person is saying.

But here’s the secret: when you practice mindful listening, you create a space for the other person to express themselves without judgment or interruption. This kind of genuine engagement is a powerful form of respect.

Mindful listening isn’t just about nodding along while someone else speaks. It’s about being fully present, absorbing their words, and responding thoughtfully. It’s not about preparing your rebuttal or thinking about your grocery list. It’s about being there, in that moment, with that person.

This simple act of giving your undivided attention not only makes the other person feel valued and understood, but it also fosters mutual respect. After all, who doesn’t appreciate being truly heard?

Incorporate mindful listening into your daily interactions and watch how quickly others’ respect for you grows. 

2) Practicing empathy

Another small habit that can make a big difference in how people perceive and respect you is practicing empathy.

As a mindfulness enthusiast, I’ve observed how empathy can transform relationships. It’s about more than just understanding someone’s feelings – it’s about sharing in their emotional experience.

The great mindfulness expert, Thich Nhat Hanh, once said, “Understanding someone’s suffering is the best gift you can give another person. Understanding is love’s other name”. I couldn’t agree more.

When we practice empathy, we put ourselves in someone else’s shoes, see things from their perspective, and respond with kindness and understanding. It shows that we value their feelings and experiences.

But it’s not always easy. Practicing empathy requires us to set aside our own biases and judgments. It challenges us to step out of our comfort zone and connect with others on a deeper level.

And when we do this, when we extend this kind of understanding towards others – that’s when people start to respect us. Because empathy isn’t just about relating to others; it’s about showing that you care.

3) Embracing humility

Humility is a powerful trait that is often overlooked in our society where self-promotion and ego-driven behavior are common. But, embracing humility is a small habit that can really make people respect you.

In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I dive deep into how Buddhism teaches us the value of humility. It encourages us to recognize our limitations and understand that we’re always learning.

Humility isn’t about downplaying our achievements or being self-deprecating. It’s about being grounded in reality, acknowledging our flaws, and being open to growth and learning.

When we practice humility, we show others that we don’t think we’re better or more important than them. This creates an atmosphere of mutual respect and equality.

When you find yourself in a situation where you could brag about your achievements or knowledge, take a step back and embrace humility instead. You’ll be surprised at how much respect it can earn you.

And if you’re interested in learning more about this and other related concepts, feel free to check out my book. It’s full of insights into how we can live life with maximum impact and minimum ego.

4) Being reliable

Reliability is a cornerstone of respect. When you say you’ll do something and follow through, people notice. And when you consistently show up and deliver, it’s a powerful way to earn respect.

There’s a quote by Benjamin Franklin that I find particularly fitting: “Well done is better than well said.” It’s a powerful reminder that actions often speak louder than words.

But how can we make this practical?

Start small. If you commit to something, make sure you do it. Whether it’s showing up on time for a meeting, completing a task by the deadline, or fulfilling a personal promise to a friend, make sure you follow through.

It might seem insignificant at first, but these small acts of reliability add up. They paint a picture of you as someone who can be trusted, someone who respects others’ time and commitments.

Make being reliable a habit – your reputation and the respect others have for you will thank you for it.

5) Living your values

One of the most profound ways to earn respect is to understand and live by your core values. This habit is all about authenticity and being true to who you are.

Through my personal mindfulness journey, I’ve learned the importance of understanding myself, especially my core values. It’s been a game changer. When you understand your values and make decisions that align with them, you show integrity and authenticity.

There’s an amazing exercise by Life Transition Coach Jeanette Brown called Defining Your Values that I found incredibly helpful. It’s designed to help you identify and understand your core values.

By living in alignment with your values, you show consistency between your words and actions, which is a surefire way to earn respect.

People respect those who know what they stand for, who are clear about their values, and who walk their talk.

So take some time to understand what your core values are and then live them out loud. Not only will it help you earn the respect of others, but it will also give you a clearer sense of direction and purpose in life.

Trust me, it’s a habit worth cultivating.

6) Showing gratitude

Gratitude is a simple yet powerful habit that can instantly make people respect you.

It’s about acknowledging the good in your life and the efforts of others. By expressing gratitude, you show appreciation and respect for the people around you.

But how to make it practical? Start with saying “thank you” more often. Whether it’s for a job well done, a kind gesture from a friend, or something as simple as someone holding the door open for you – acknowledge it.

And don’t just say it, mean it. Genuine gratitude goes a long way in earning respect.

Make it a habit to express gratitude regularly. It’s a small gesture that can have a big impact on how people perceive and respect you.

7) Practicing mindfulness

Mindfulness is a habit that has personally transformed my life. It’s about being fully present in the moment, aware of your thoughts, feelings, and actions, and accepting them without judgment.

When you practice mindfulness, you demonstrate a level of self-awareness and self-control that is deeply respectable. It shows that you’re thoughtful about your actions and their impact on others.

It also helps you to respond rather than react to situations, which can prevent misunderstandings and conflicts.

Start by paying more attention to your thoughts and actions. Notice when you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed and take a moment to breathe and center yourself.

Mindfulness isn’t about achieving a state of eternal calm or happiness. It’s about accepting the present moment as it is, without trying to change or judge it.

By practicing mindfulness in your daily life, you’ll not only improve your own mental well-being but also earn the respect of those around you. Trust me, it’s a journey worth embarking on.

8) Respecting others

A simple yet profound way to earn respect is by showing it to others. As the old adage goes, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

This principle was beautifully summed up by Albert Einstein when he said, “I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.”

Treating everyone with respect, regardless of their status or position, shows that you value all people equally. It’s a powerful way to earn respect because respect begets respect.

Make it a habit to show genuine respect to everyone you interact with. Listen to their ideas, value their contributions, and treat them with kindness and courtesy.

You’ll find that when you give respect freely, it often comes back to you tenfold.

9) Admitting when you’re wrong

This might seem a bit counterintuitive, but admitting when you’re wrong is actually a powerful way to earn respect.

In my own life, I’ve found that it’s not about always being right, but about being honest and accountable. It’s about acknowledging when I’ve made a mistake, learning from it, and making amends where necessary.

It’s easy to let pride get in the way and refuse to admit when we’ve messed up. But doing so only damages our credibility. On the other hand, owning up to our mistakes shows that we value truth over our ego.

Admitting when you’re wrong demonstrates humility, responsibility, and integrity – traits that are highly respected.

When you make a mistake, resist the urge to defend or justify it. Instead, admit it, learn from it, and move forward. You’ll be surprised at how much respect you’ll earn by simply being honest and accountable.

10) Keeping your promises

Keeping your promises may seem like a basic concept, but it’s a habit that can significantly impact how much people respect you.

When you make a promise, you’re giving your word, and following through on that word shows others that you’re trustworthy and dependable.

The practical aspect of this is straightforward: if you say you’re going to do something, do it. If circumstances change and you can’t fulfill your promise, communicate this as soon as possible and make amends where necessary.

Remember, consistently keeping your promises builds trust and respect over time. So make it a habit to mean what you say and say what you mean. It’s a simple yet effective way to earn the respect of others.

Conclusion

Earning respect doesn’t require grand gestures or extraordinary achievements. Often, it’s about the small habits that we consistently practice in our daily lives.

From mindful listening to keeping your promises, these habits demonstrate integrity, authenticity, and concern for others. They show that you respect others and, in turn, make others respect you.

But remember, cultivating these habits takes time and conscious effort. It’s a journey of personal growth and understanding. A great starting point could be Jeanette Brown’s “Defining Your Values” exercise to help you understand and live by your core values.

So take the first step today. Choose one habit from this list to focus on and see how it transforms your relationships and the respect you command. You’ve got this!