“You’re imagining things”: 7 classic gaslighting phrases to watch out for.

Tina Fey by Tina Fey | November 27, 2024, 3:55 pm

Remember the time when your gut was telling you something was off, but someone turned around and said, “You’re just imagining things?”

You might not have been imagining anything at all. In fact, their words may have been a classic example of gaslighting – a form of psychological manipulation that can make you question your reality.

But how can you tell for sure?

If you’ve ever found yourself asking, “Am I being gaslighted?”, then you’re in the right place.

Keep reading as we delve into seven typical gaslighting phrases to be on the lookout for.

Let’s get started.

1) “You’re too sensitive”

So here’s the first one.

Have you ever been told, “You’re too sensitive,” when you’ve expressed your feelings or concerns?

This phrase is a classic in the gaslighter’s playbook.

By telling you that you’re overreacting or being too emotional, the gaslighter attempts to invalidate your feelings. They’re effectively saying that your reaction is the problem, not their actions.

But let me remind you.

Your feelings are valid. And if something bothers you, it’s essential to express it. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

2) “I never said that”

Now, this one hit close to home for me.

About a year ago, I found myself in a situation where someone would constantly deny things they’d said, even when I was sure I’d heard them correctly. The phrase “I never said that” became all too common.

This technique is designed to make you doubt your memory and perception, which makes you more inclined to believe their version of events over your own.

It was a tough time for me, but recognizing this as a form of gaslighting was the first step towards asserting my reality and regaining my confidence.

3) “You’re crazy”

Let’s take a deep breath before we jump into this one.

There’s something exceptionally hurtful about being called “crazy” by someone you trust and care about. It’s a word that carries a heavy weight, meant to belittle and dismiss your feelings, thoughts, and experiences.

I remember once having an argument with a close friend. I was trying to express how her actions were hurting me, but she brushed it off with a simple, “You’re crazy.”

Unfortunately, this is a go-to phrase for gaslighters. They use it to discredit you, making others —and even you— question your sanity. It’s harsh. It’s manipulative. And it’s anything but true.

So next time someone calls you crazy for expressing your feelings or standing up for yourself, take a step back. It says more about them than it does about you.

4) “It was just a joke”

On to the next one.

Ever been hurt by a comment, only for the person to brush it off as “just a joke”?

This is another common phrase used by gaslighters to belittle your feelings and make you feel silly for being upset.

They use humor as a disguise for their hurtful comments, making it seem like you’re the one with the issue for not being able to take a joke.

But here’s the thing.

If a ‘joke’ hurts you, it’s not a joke. It’s okay to express that you’ve been hurt, and you shouldn’t be made to feel guilty or overly sensitive for doing so.

5) “Everyone agrees with me”

Now, this one’s a double whammy.

Not only is the gaslighter attempting to undermine your perspective, but they’re also trying to isolate you by implying that everyone else is on their side.

It’s a manipulation tactic designed to make you feel alone in your feelings or experiences.

The interesting thing is, in most situations, the gaslighter hasn’t even consulted ‘everyone.’ They’re just using this phrase as a tool to make you doubt yourself.

The next time you hear this phrase, remember that it’s not about who’s right or wrong, or who sides with whom. It’s about respecting each other’s feelings and perspectives.

6) “You’re overthinking”

We’re almost at the end, so let’s keep going.

The phrase “You’re overthinking” is another classic gaslighting tactic. It’s used to make you question your judgement and dismiss your concerns.

But allow me to reassure you.

Your concerns are valid. Your worries are valid. You have every right to think things through and express your thoughts.

We all process things differently, and it’s not for anyone else to dictate how much thought or consideration we should give to our feelings.

It’s okay to reflect, analyze, and make sense of your experiences at your own pace. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

7) “You don’t remember correctly”

This is it, the big one.

The phrase “You don’t remember correctly” is a powerful tool in the gaslighter’s arsenal.

It’s designed to make you second-guess your memory, to believe that your recollection of events is flawed.

But here’s what you need to know.

Your memory isn’t perfect—no one’s is. But that doesn’t mean it can be dismissed or manipulated.

If something doesn’t feel right, trust your instincts. You have the right to trust in your own experiences and memories. Don’t let anyone take that away from you.

The final thought

If you’ve found yourself nodding along to these phrases, it’s possible you’ve experienced gaslighting. It’s a tough realization, but knowing is the first step towards reclaiming your truth.

Here’s the silver lining – you don’t have to remain a victim.

Awareness is power. Recognizing these phrases and understanding their intent can act as a shield, giving you the strength to assert your reality.

Remember, your feelings, memories, and perceptions are valid. They belong to you and no one else has the right to manipulate them.

Begin by observing your interactions. Notice when these phrases come up and how they make you feel.

Trust in yourself and your experiences. You deserve respect and understanding, just like anyone else.

Change won’t happen instantly. It’s a process.

But every step you take towards asserting your reality is a victory. Each time you stand up for your truth builds resilience and self-confidence.

The journey may be challenging, but remember, self-love and self-respect are worth fighting for.

As you navigate this path, may you find strength in your truth and learn to trust in the validity of your experiences.

So reflect on this, take it to heart, and carry it with you as you move forward in life.

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