When someone dishes out criticism, it’s easy to snap back, get defensive, or even feel attacked. But not for emotionally intelligent folks. Oh no, they handle it with grace and wisdom.

Now, we all know that the human ego is a delicate thing. It doesn’t take much to bruise it. Yet, some people seem to have mastered the art of handling criticism without losing their cool or skipping a beat.

So, what’s their secret? Well, they typically follow these 8 clever strategies.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to leave you hanging. I’m about to share these ingenious methods with you. And trust me, they’re not as tricky or elusive as you might think.

In fact, they’re all about understanding human nature and communication at a deeper level.

So let’s dive in and discover how the emotionally intelligent handle criticism without getting defensive. It’s a game-changer, I promise you!

1) Embrace the feedback

Criticism, though it may sting, can be a valuable tool for growth. It’s like a mirror that reflects our flaws, areas we might be blind to.

Emotionally intelligent people understand this. They don’t shy away from criticism or get defensive. Instead, they embrace it, value it, and see it as an opportunity for self-improvement.

So, the next time someone criticizes you, don’t retreat into your shell or retaliate. Instead, take a deep breath, listen carefully, consider their words.

There might be a nugget of truth in there that could help you become a better version of yourself.

Remember, it’s not about winning an argument; it’s about learning and growing. So let’s take that criticism on board and use it to our advantage. Shall we?

2) Don’t take it personally

One of the most significant lessons I’ve learned is to not take criticism personally. It’s easier said than done, trust me, I know.

Once, I was working on a project that I was incredibly passionate about. I poured my heart and soul into it, making sure every detail was perfect.

But when I presented it to the team, my boss pointed out a few flaws and suggested some improvements.

At first, I was crushed. I felt like all my hard work had been dismissed. But then, I took a step back and realized that the criticism wasn’t a reflection of me as an individual but of the work I had produced.

I then began to see the feedback as constructive criticism aimed at making the project better, not undermining my abilities or worth. That shift in perception made all the difference.

So folks, remember criticism is often about the work or behavior, not you as a person. Make that distinction and you’ll be able to handle criticism without getting defensive.

3) Practice active listening

The term active listening was first coined by psychologists Carl Rogers and Richard Farson back in the 1950s.

This approach to communication involves really hearing what the other person is saying and understanding it from their perspective, rather than just waiting for your turn to speak.

Emotionally intelligent people are adept at this. When they’re being criticized, they don’t interrupt or start thinking about their counter-argument.

Instead, they pay full attention to the speaker, showing interest and respect for their perspective.

Active listening enables you to grasp the real message behind the criticism, which could be a genuine concern or suggestion for improvement.

It also shows the critic that you value their input, which can help defuse any tension or defensiveness.

So next time you face criticism, don’t just hear it; listen to it. You might be surprised at what you learn.

4) Respond, don’t react

There’s a subtle yet crucial difference between reacting and responding.

Reacting is often instant, driven by the heat of the moment and our emotions. Responding, on the other hand, is more thoughtful, considered and measured.

Emotionally intelligent people are masters of response. When faced with criticism, they don’t get defensive or snap back instantly.

They take a moment to process the information, formulate their thoughts, and then respond calmly in a composed manner.

This approach allows them to address the issue at hand constructively rather than escalating the situation with a hasty reaction.

Plus, it gives them the opportunity to ask for clarification if needed, ensuring they fully understand the criticism before addressing it.

So next time you’re faced with criticism, take a pause. Breathe. And then respond. You’ll be amazed at how much this simple shift can change the dynamics of the interaction.

5) Seek clarification

This is something I’ve learned to do over the years. When faced with criticism, I’ve found it immensely helpful to seek clarification.

This is particularly useful when the criticism is vague or seems unjustified. Instead of getting defensive or dismissing it outright, I ask questions.

I strive to understand what led the person to form their opinion or make their comment.

By asking questions like, “Can you explain what you mean by that?” or “Can you give me an example of when I did that?”, I am able to get a clearer picture of the issue at hand.

This not only helps me understand where they’re coming from, but it also gives me a chance to explain my actions or approach if necessary.

So remember, if you’re ever on the receiving end of criticism and you’re not quite sure why, don’t be afraid to ask for clarification. It’s better to understand than to react blindly.

6) Show gratitude

Now, this might sound a bit odd. Why would anyone be grateful for criticism? But hear me out.

Criticism, especially when it’s constructive, is a form of feedback that can help us grow and improve.

It takes courage to give honest feedback, and the person offering it is often doing so because they care about your progress.

Emotionally intelligent people understand this. So, instead of getting defensive, they show gratitude to the person for their feedback.

This not only diffuses any potential tension but also reinforces a positive and open communication culture.

So next time someone criticizes you, try saying “Thank you for your feedback. I’ll consider your points and see how I can apply them.” You might be surprised at how well this approach works.

7) Reflect and learn

Once the criticism has been delivered and the conversation is over, emotionally intelligent people don’t just move on and forget about it.

They take time to reflect on the feedback received.

They consider the points raised, evaluate their actions or behavior, and identify where improvements can be made.

They see criticism as a learning opportunity, a chance to become better at what they do.

Remember, it’s not about dwelling on the negatives. It’s about acknowledging them, learning from them, and moving forward with greater knowledge and wisdom.

So take that criticism, reflect on it, and use it as a stepping stone towards improvement.

8) Maintain a growth mindset

At the heart of handling criticism without getting defensive is maintaining a growth mindset. This mindset, popularized by psychologist Carol Dweck, is about believing in your ability to learn and grow.

Emotionally intelligent people with a growth mindset view criticism not as a personal attack or a sign of failure, but as an opportunity for development.

They understand that they’re not perfect and that there’s always room for improvement.

So, embrace the growth mindset.

See criticism as a tool for learning, not as a weapon against you. With this shift in perspective, you’ll find that criticism becomes less daunting and more empowering.

Embracing a new perspective on criticism

If you’ve followed along this far, you may have realized something profound. Handling criticism without getting defensive is not about suppressing your emotions or feelings.

Rather, it’s about understanding and managing them wisely.

Remember, criticism is not a personal attack but an opportunity for growth. It’s a chance to learn, evolve and become a better version of yourself.

Emotionally intelligent people grasp this concept. They accept criticism with grace and leverage it to their advantage.

The renowned author and speaker, Zig Ziglar once said, “The most successful people in life are the ones who can take the bricks others throw at them and use them to build a strong foundation.”

So let’s start viewing criticism from that lens. Let’s see it as a brick that we can use to build our own foundations of growth and improvement.

This shift in perspective may not be easy, but trust me, it’s worth it.

It’s not just about becoming more emotionally intelligent; it’s about becoming a better version of ourselves. And isn’t that something worth striving for?