If you’ve interacted with women who have low emotional intelligence (EI), you’ll know that their behavior can sometimes be baffling and unpredictable.

A pattern of eight common behaviors often emerges among those with low EI. These actions can range from a lack of empathy to difficulty in handling criticism, and they may not even realize they’re doing it.

Emotional intelligence isn’t innate, and it’s definitely not a lifestyle choice. It’s a learned ability, and some people struggle more than others.

There are ways to navigate these difficulties, though. Understanding more about these behaviors can be a helpful starting point.

1) Difficulty understanding emotions

They often struggle to understand and interpret their own feelings, let alone the emotions of others.

For example, they might get upset when someone else is expressing frustration or sadness. Rather than empathizing and offering support, they might react defensively or even angrily. This isn’t because they don’t care, but because they genuinely don’t comprehend what the other person is feeling.

This can lead to miscommunications and conflict in relationships. Their inability to properly understand emotions can come across as a lack of empathy or coldness, even though that’s not their intention.

2) Overly logical responses

Let’s say a friend shares a personal problem. Instead of offering emotional support or empathy, they might immediately jump into problem-solving mode. They’ll provide logical solutions or advice, even when it’s clear that the friend simply needs a listening ear or a shoulder to lean on.

While being solution-oriented can be helpful in certain contexts, it can also lead to feelings of invalidation and disconnection in more emotionally charged situations.

3) Struggle with social cues

This behavior is linked to a concept in psychology known as “theory of mind” – the ability to understand that others have thoughts, feelings, and perspectives different from our own.

Women with low emotional intelligence might struggle to put themselves in another person’s shoes, leading to awkward social interactions. This isn’t due to insensitivity or indifference, but rather a gap in their understanding of social dynamics. Being aware of this behavior can help in managing interactions and fostering better relationships.

4) They can be surprisingly self-critical

They’re quick to judge themselves harshly, even over minor mistakes or perceived shortcomings.

This behavior isn’t a sign of arrogance or a desire for perfection. Quite the opposite, it’s often rooted in an inability to accurately assess and accept their own emotions. They might not understand what it means to be kind to oneself, and how essential it is for emotional well-being.

If you know someone like this, remember they’re not seeking attention or pity. They’re likely battling internal struggles they may not fully understand.

5) Struggling to express feelings

We’ve all had those moments where we’ve struggled to put our feelings into words, right?

They might feel something intensely but lack the vocabulary or self-awareness to accurately express it. This can result in vague or confusing communication that leaves others unsure of how to respond.

This isn’t about being secretive or evasive. It’s simply a challenge they face when trying to articulate what they’re feeling. 

6) They may avoid emotional discussions

Picture this scenario. You’re trying to have a heart-to-heart conversation with a friend about something that’s been bothering you. However, every time you steer the conversation towards your feelings, she quickly changes the subject or makes light of it.

This is another common behavior seen in women with low emotional intelligence. They tend to shy away from emotional discussions, not out of indifference, but because they find it challenging to navigate such conversations.

7) Poor listening skills

It’s time to face it – women with low emotional intelligence often struggle with active listening. 

This isn’t about disrespect or a lack of interest. Remember, emotional intelligence involves understanding emotions – their own and others’. If they struggle with this aspect, active listening can be challenging because it requires empathy and emotional comprehension.

8) They are not intentionally hurtful

Here’s the thing to keep in mind: women with low emotional intelligence are not deliberately trying to be difficult or hurtful. Their behaviors may cause misunderstandings or frustration, but it’s important to understand that they are struggling with interpreting and handling emotions.

This doesn’t excuse negative behaviors, but it does provide context. With patience, understanding, and clear communication, it’s possible to navigate these challenges and foster healthier interactions. 

Final thoughts

Understanding emotional intelligence is about recognizing a vital aspect of our humanity—it’s a reflection of how we connect, empathize, and communicate.

Don’t forget, time spent in understanding others is never wasted.

Being emotionally intelligent means having the capacity not to let misunderstandings cloud your judgment or affect your relationships. It’s about learning, growing and adapting.