Women who pretend to be nice but are actually manipulative usually display these 8 subtle behaviors

Tina Fey by Tina Fey | October 2, 2024, 12:35 pm

It’s tricky navigating the world of human interactions, especially when it comes to deciphering true intentions. Some women, for example, may appear nice on the surface but are actually pulling the strings behind the scenes.

Manipulation is subtle, often disguised behind sweet words and kind gestures. However, there are telltale signs that can give away a person’s true nature.

In this article, we will uncover the 8 subtle behaviors usually displayed by women who pretend to be nice but are actually manipulative.

By the end, you’ll be better equipped to spot manipulation and maintain control in your relationships.

Let’s get started.

1) She’s always playing the victim

We all encounter difficulties and challenges in our lives. It’s part of being human. But manipulative women have a knack for using their hardships as a tool to control others.

This behavior is often disguised as vulnerability. She may frequently share stories of her misfortunes, painting herself as the perennial victim. This can elicit empathy, making it easier for her to influence your actions or decisions.

But here’s where you need to be careful.

It’s essential to differentiate between someone genuinely sharing their struggles versus someone who’s using their woes to manipulate you.

This differentiation isn’t always straightforward, but if you find that sympathy always leads to you doing what she wants, you might be dealing with a manipulator.

In essence, playing the victim is a classic manipulation tactic – be on guard if this behavior seems to be a recurring theme.

2) She’s excessively charming when she needs something

Here’s something I’ve personally experienced. A woman I once knew had a knack for turning on the charm whenever she wanted something. Her compliments would flow, her attention would be unwavering, and her sweet-talk was unparalleled.

I remember a particular incident when she wanted to borrow my car for the weekend. Suddenly, she was complimenting me on my sense of style, my excellent taste in music, and even my choice of car scent!

At first, I was flattered and willingly lent her my vehicle. But as this behavior became a pattern whenever she needed a favor, it became clear that her charm wasn’t genuine. It was a tool to get what she wanted.

This excessive charm is another subtle behavior that manipulative women may use. It can be difficult to spot, especially when it’s directed at you. But once you’re aware of it, you can better manage these situations.

3) She’s quick to guilt-trip you

Manipulative women often use guilt as a weapon. They know how to make you feel bad about your actions, even when you’ve done nothing wrong. This is a powerful tool because guilt can have a profound impact on our emotions and decisions.

Did you know that psychologists have found guilt to be one of the most potent emotions for influencing behavior? It’s true. Guilt has the power to make us act against our better judgment, and manipulators know this all too well.

If you frequently find yourself feeling guilty around her, especially when she doesn’t get her way, it could be a sign of manipulation. Be wary of this and stand your ground when necessary. Remember, it’s okay to say no.

4) She often gives backhanded compliments

Compliments are generally meant to uplift and appreciate. But in the hands of a manipulative woman, they can be veiled insults designed to undermine your confidence.

These are called backhanded compliments, and they’re a classic manipulation tool. Phrases like “You’re pretty smart for someone who didn’t go to college” or “That dress is flattering, it hides your flaws really well” may sound like compliments on the surface, but they carry a negative undertone.

Manipulators use this tactic to subtly make you feel bad about yourself, knocking you off balance and making you easier to control.

If you notice that her compliments often leave you feeling worse instead of better, be alert. It might be more than just a poorly phrased compliment – it could be manipulation.

5) She’s never wrong

One of the hardest things in life is admitting when we’re wrong. It takes humility and courage to accept our mistakes. But a manipulative woman won’t do this – in her eyes, she’s always right.

This behavior can be incredibly frustrating and damaging, especially in close relationships. I’ve seen friends in relationships where their partner never takes responsibility for their actions or admits to being wrong. It’s heartbreaking to see because it often leads to self-doubt and a loss of self-confidence in the one being manipulated.

Everyone makes mistakes, and it’s healthy to admit when we’re wrong. If she never does this, or turns it around to make it your fault, it could be a sign of manipulation. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re always the one at fault. Stand up for yourself and remember your worth.

6) She’s a master of passive-aggressive behavior

Passive-aggressive behavior is a subtle form of manipulation often used by those who avoid direct confrontation. They express their negative feelings indirectly, making it difficult for you to address the issue head-on.

I recall an old colleague of mine who used this strategy. Whenever she was upset with someone, she would resort to indirect comments or subtle gestures instead of expressing her feelings openly. It was like walking on eggshells around her, never knowing what might trigger her next passive-aggressive remark or action.

This form of manipulation is emotionally draining, and it can cause a great deal of stress and confusion. If you notice passive-aggressive behaviors like veiled criticism, silent treatment, or intentional mistakes, tread carefully. It could be a sign you’re dealing with a manipulator.

7) She uses your secrets against you

Trust is the foundation of any relationship, whether it’s with a friend, family member, or partner. When we share our secrets with someone, it’s a sign of trust. But a manipulative woman can take advantage of this trust.

If you find that she uses your vulnerabilities or secrets against you, particularly during disagreements or when she wants something, it’s a clear sign of manipulation. This tactic is designed to make you feel exposed and weak, thereby gaining control over you.

It’s important to remember that your secrets and vulnerabilities should be respected, not used as ammunition. If this behavior occurs, it may be time to reconsider the relationship and protect your personal boundaries.

8) She’s constantly undermining your self-esteem

This is the most crucial thing you need to know: A manipulative woman will often try to undermine your self-esteem. This can take many forms, such as constant criticism, comparing you unfavorably to others, or belittling your accomplishments.

By slowly chipping away at your confidence, she can make you feel dependent on her approval and validation. This manipulation tactic creates a power imbalance, allowing her to control you more easily.

No one has the right to make you feel less than or unworthy. Stand strong in your self-worth and don’t let anyone undermine your confidence.

 

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