There’s a vast difference between genuinely kind people and those who merely wear a mask of kindness.

This difference often lies in the subtlety of their actions. Women who pretend to be kind may seem sweet on the surface, but their true intentions often peek through in their behaviors.

Understanding these subtle cues can help you navigate your relationships more effectively, avoiding unnecessary drama and heartache.

So let’s delve into the 8 subtle behaviors usually displayed by women who pretend to be kind but actually aren’t. Keep an eye out for these signs – they might just save you from a world of hurt.

1) Hidden negativity

Beneath the facade of kindness, women who aren’t genuinely kind often hide a layer of negativity.

This hidden negativity can be subtle, and it often seeps out in the form of backhanded compliments or passive-aggressive comments. It’s the sweetly-delivered put-down, or the compliment that somehow leaves you feeling worse about yourself.

Genuine kindness is uplifting and leaves you feeling better for having interacted with the person. But with these women, you might find yourself feeling drained or subtly put down after your encounters with them.

Recognizing this hidden negativity can help us avoid misjudging their intentions and falling into emotional traps. Keep an eye out for these underhanded tactics – they’re often a telltale sign of insincere kindness.

2) Unreciprocated effort

Many years ago, I had a friend who epitomized the phrase “all take and no give”. Let’s call her Anna. On the surface, Anna seemed like a kind and caring person, always quick with a compliment and a smile.

But when it came to actually supporting me in times of need, Anna was invariably absent. I remember when I was going through a rough patch, dealing with the loss of a loved one. Despite knowing my situation, Anna never once reached out to see how I was doing or if I needed support.

In contrast, whenever she needed something – be it emotional support or help with practical matters – I was expected to be there for her.

The lesson I learned from my relationship with Anna is that genuine kindness involves reciprocation. If you find yourself in a relationship where you’re constantly giving and the other person is constantly taking without giving back, it might be time to reassess whether that person is truly as kind as they appear.

3) Neglecting boundaries

Boundaries are a crucial aspect of any healthy relationship. They help define our personal space, both physically and emotionally, and ensure mutual respect between individuals.

Women who pretend to be kind often disregard these boundaries. They might invade your personal space, make inappropriate comments, or disrespect your time without a second thought.

Interestingly, psychological studies have shown that people who consistently ignore or violate others’ boundaries are more likely to exhibit narcissistic traits. While this doesn’t mean that every boundary violator is a narcissist, it’s a behavior that’s certainly worth watching out for in your interactions with others.

4) Frequent gossip

Gossiping is a behavior that’s often associated with kindness in disguise. Women who seem kind but actually aren’t might seem to be the confidante everyone turns to, but you may notice they’re often sharing others’ secrets or speaking negatively about people who aren’t present.

Gossip is harmful and destructive. It erodes trust and damages relationships. A truly kind person respects the privacy of others and avoids speaking ill of them, especially behind their backs.

If you notice someone frequently indulging in gossip, it could be a sign that their kindness isn’t as genuine as it appears.

5) Lack of empathy

At the heart of kindness is empathy – the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s what allows us to connect with people on a deep, emotional level.

Women who pretend to be kind, however, often lack this key quality. They might say all the right things, but when it comes down to truly understanding your feelings and experiences, they fall short.

You may notice this lack of empathy in moments when you need support or understanding. You might be met with dismissive comments, or a failure to acknowledge your feelings.

Remember, genuine kindness involves empathy. Without it, ‘kind’ actions can feel hollow and insincere.

6) Conditional kindness

I once knew a woman who was the epitome of kindness… as long as you were useful to her. She would shower you with compliments and attention, but the moment you couldn’t offer her something she needed or wanted, her demeanor would change drastically.

This conditional kindness often left me feeling like a commodity, valued only for what I could offer rather than who I was. It was a harsh lesson, but one that taught me to recognize and value genuine, unconditional kindness.

If someone’s kindness seems to be contingent on what you can do for them, it’s a clear sign that their kindness may not be genuine.

7) Overly critical

A woman who pretends to be kind can often be overly critical or judgemental. While they may present their critiques as well-intentioned advice or constructive criticism, the underlying message is often one of disapproval or dissatisfaction.

Genuine kindness involves acceptance and understanding, not constant criticism. If you find that someone is frequently criticizing you or others around them, it may be a sign that their kindness is merely a facade.

8) Inconsistency

In the end, the most telling sign of a woman who pretends to be kind but isn’t, is inconsistency. Genuine kindness is consistent. It doesn’t fluctuate based on mood, circumstance, or company.

If a woman’s kindness seems to come and go, or if it seems to change drastically based on who she’s with or what she wants, it’s a strong indicator that her kindness isn’t genuine.

Inconsistency in kindness is often a sign of manipulation or ulterior motives. So keep an eye out for this behavior – it’s the clearest sign that someone’s kindness might not be as real as it appears.