There’s a major distinction between appearing kind and genuinely being so.

Women who put on a show of kindness, yet harbor ulterior motives, are a classic example. They may seem caring on the surface, but their true colors eventually shine through.

Spotting these women is no small feat. However, they often exhibit certain behaviors that can give them away.

This article will delve into 8 behaviors typically displayed by women who feign kindness but are actually anything but. Be prepared for some surprising revelations.

1) Overbearing niceness

There’s a vast difference between being genuinely kind and overdoing it.

Women who are not truly kind often exhibit an exaggerated form of niceness. It’s as if they’re putting on a performance, and they are usually over the top.

The excessive sweetness may seem endearing at first, but it’s often a cover-up for their true intentions. They use this behavior to manipulate others and get what they want.

It might be difficult to distinguish between genuine kindness and an act initially. However, the overbearing niceness often seems forced after a while, giving them away.

Remember, true kindness comes from within, and it’s consistent. It doesn’t feel like a showcase or a strategy to achieve something.

So next time when you encounter women with over-the-top friendliness, take a moment to question its authenticity. It could be their way of pretending to be kind and caring when they’re really not.

2) Failing to follow through

Let me tell you a story about a woman I once knew. On the surface, she was the epitome of kindness. Always promising to help, always saying the right things, and always presenting herself as someone who truly cared.

But over time, I began to notice a pattern. Her promises were often empty. She would say she’d be there when you needed help, but when push came to shove, she was nowhere to be found.

I once asked her for help with a project, and she enthusiastically agreed. However, when the day came for her to assist me, she had an excuse ready and bailed on me.

This behavior is a classic sign of someone who pretends to be kind and caring but really isn’t. They make promises they have no intention of keeping, simply to maintain their image of being helpful and considerate.

Remember this: actions speak louder than words. So pay attention not just to what women say, but more importantly, what they do. 

3) They’re quick to take, slow to give

Imagine a friend who’s always eager to accept help but never seems available when you need a hand. That’s a behavior quite common in women who pretend to be kind but aren’t.

Research has shown that people who are genuinely kind practice reciprocity. They give as much as they take. It’s a balance, an exchange of mutual support and respect.

In contrast, those who feign kindness often exploit this principle. They’re all too happy to accept favors and assistance, but they’re rarely willing to return them.

This one-sided relationship can be emotionally draining and damaging in the long run. Watch out for it, and make sure you’re not stuck in a cycle of giving without receiving due reciprocation.

4) Their words and actions don’t match

One of the most telling signs of women who pretend to be kind and caring is a discrepancy between their words and actions. They may speak the language of kindness, but their behavior tells a different story.

For instance, they might always say the right things, make grand promises, and express concern for others. However, when it comes to backing up these words with actions, they usually fall short.

They may express sympathy when you’re going through a tough time, but they’re nowhere to be found when you need practical help. They promise to support you, but when the time comes for them to show up, they don’t.

Keep an eye out for this disconnect between what they say and what they do. It’s a clear red flag that their kindness and caring might not be genuine.

5) They use kindness as a bargaining chip

If you’ve ever encountered someone who seems to keep a mental tally of every kind act they do, you’ve met a person who uses kindness as a tool for manipulation.

For these women, every good deed comes with strings attached. They help or support you, not out of genuine concern, but in expectation of a favor in return.

Such behavior is far from true kindness. Genuine kindness is selfless and expects nothing in return. It’s about wanting the best for others without seeking personal gain.

In short, watch out for those who treat kindness like a transaction.

6) Lack of empathy

At the heart of every genuinely kind and caring person is a deep sense of empathy. They feel for others and are moved to act because they understand what it’s like to be in someone else’s shoes.

Women who pretend to be kind often lack this essential quality. They may act concerned or sympathetic, but at their core, they don’t truly feel for others. Their kindness is surface-level, without the depth of understanding and compassion that comes with true empathy.

This lack of genuine empathy can be hard to spot at first. But over time, you might notice that their sympathies seem shallow or forced. They may struggle to understand your feelings or show indifference when you’re hurting.

Remember, genuine kindness is rooted in empathy. If you sense a lack of it, that could be a sign that the kindness being shown is not as real as it appears.

7) They’re only kind when others are watching

I once had a friend who was the picture of kindness whenever we were in public or around mutual friends. She would go out of her way to help others and was always ready with a kind word or gesture.

However, when we were alone, that kindness would disappear. She became indifferent, dismissive, even unkind. It was as if her kindness was a switch she could flip on and off at will, depending on who was around to witness it.

This stark difference in her behavior was an eye-opener for me. I realized that her kindness was not genuine but a performance meant for an audience.

So be aware of those who only show kindness when they have an audience. It’s a strong indicator that their caring nature may not be as genuine as it seems.

8) Their kindness disappears when they’re angry

The ultimate test of a person’s character is how they behave when they’re angry. For women who only pretend to be kind and caring, their facade often crumbles in the face of anger or conflict.

They may be all sweetness and light when things are going well, but the moment they’re upset, their kindness evaporates. They become harsh, critical, or even cruel, showing a side of themselves that starkly contrasts with their usual caring persona.

True kindness withstands the test of anger. Even in moments of conflict, genuinely kind people strive to treat others with respect and understanding.

So keep this in mind – if a woman’s kindness disappears the moment she’s angry, it’s a clear sign that her caring nature might just be a facade.