Women who mask their insecurities with perfectionism usually display these 7 behaviors, according to psychology

Isabella Chase by Isabella Chase | January 1, 2025, 4:00 am

The world of psychology is a fascinating one, especially when it focuses on how we handle our insecurities. And for many women, those insecurities are often masked behind a veil of perfectionism.

This facade of perfectionism isn’t about being perfect. It’s more about creating an illusion to hide what’s really going on underneath. It’s about using high standards as a shield against feelings of inadequacy.

According to psychologists, there are seven tell-tale behaviors that suggest a woman could be disguising her insecurities with perfectionism. These behaviors may not be obvious at first glance, but once you know what to look for, you’ll see them everywhere.

Stay tuned as we delve into these seven behaviors that hint at the hidden insecurities lurking behind a mask of perfectionism.

1) Overcompensating through tasks

Perfectionism often stems from a fear of not being good enough. And for women masking their insecurities with perfectionism, this can manifest as a compulsive need to over-deliver in every task they undertake.

Psychologists have noted this behavior as a common trait among these individuals. The thinking goes: “If I do everything perfectly and exceed expectations, no one will see my insecurities.”

In work, this could mean taking on excessive workloads or obsessing over small details to the point of exhaustion. In personal relationships, it could involve going above and beyond to please others in an attempt to hide perceived shortcomings.

It’s a defense mechanism, essentially – throw up a cloud of overachievement to obscure the insecurities lurking beneath. But it’s important to remember that it’s just that – a mask. The insecurities are still there, and by recognizing this behavior, we can begin to address them.

2) Constant self-criticism

Self-criticism is a common behavior among women who hide their insecurities behind perfectionism. I’ve personally experienced this, and it’s an exhausting cycle.

I remember a time when I was working on a big project. Despite pouring hours into it and receiving positive feedback, all I could focus on were the tiny imperfections. I’d lie awake at night, replaying my mistakes in my mind, berating myself for not doing better.

This constant self-criticism wasn’t about striving for excellence. It was about trying to shield myself from criticism from others – if I criticized myself enough, maybe it would sting less when it came from someone else.

This self-inflicted harshness is often a smoke screen, obscuring deeper insecurities. It’s a hard habit to break, but recognizing it is the first step towards healthier self-perception.

3) Procrastination or avoidance

Procrastination is often seen as a sign of laziness or lack of discipline, but it can also be a symptom of perfectionism. For women masking their insecurities with perfectionism, the fear of producing anything less than perfect can be paralyzing.

This fear can lead to avoidance or procrastination in tasks where they feel they might not meet their own high standards. The logic is: “If I don’t start, I can’t fail.”

Interestingly, this behavior pattern aligns with findings from a study, which discovered a correlation between high levels of perfectionism and procrastination. This goes to show that what seems to be laziness might actually be a form of self-preservation from harsh self-judgment.

4) The need for control

In a world that can often feel chaotic and unpredictable, having control over aspects of our lives can be comforting. However, for women masking their insecurities with perfectionism, this need for control can become all-encompassing.

They might meticulously plan and organize every detail of their day or obsess over controlling the outcomes of situations, even when they’re outside of their control.

This behavior often stems from an underlying fear that if things aren’t perfect, they won’t be accepted or loved. By exerting control, they’re trying to protect themselves from these perceived negative outcomes.

It’s important to understand that this need for control is more about self-protection than power. Recognizing this behavior can help in addressing the hidden insecurities that fuel it.

5) Avoidance of criticism

Criticism can be hard to take for anyone, but for women hiding insecurities behind perfectionism, it can be particularly difficult.

I recall a time when I received constructive feedback on a project. My immediate reaction was defensiveness and a sense of failure. I had worked so hard to make everything perfect, and in my mind, the criticism was a confirmation of my deepest fears – that I wasn’t good enough.

This behavior of avoiding or being overly sensitive to criticism is common among women who use perfectionism as a shield. Instead of seeing feedback as an opportunity for growth, they view it as a threat to their carefully constructed facade.

But here’s the thing – criticism is an inevitable part of life. And learning to handle it in a healthy way is crucial for personal and professional growth.

6) Fear of failure

Failure is a part of life, but for women masking their insecurities with perfectionism, the very thought of failing can be terrifying.

This fear of failure often dictates their actions – they may avoid taking risks or stepping out of their comfort zone, fearing that any misstep will expose their perceived inadequacies.

This fear can limit personal growth and opportunities. After all, it’s through our mistakes and failures that we learn and grow the most.

It’s essential to understand that failure isn’t a reflection of self-worth. It’s just a stepping stone on the path to success. Recognizing this fear and its impact on our actions is an important step in overcoming insecurities.

7) Unrealistic standards

The most telling sign of a woman masking her insecurities with perfectionism is the setting of unrealistic standards. These standards are often unachievable, but they persist in chasing them, believing that anything less constitutes failure.

These high standards can apply to all aspects of life – work, relationships, appearance, and even hobbies. They serve as an impenetrable armor, protecting them from perceived judgement and criticism.

But here’s the crux of the matter – these standards are not only unachievable, they’re unnecessary. Worth isn’t measured by flawlessness. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses – it’s what makes us human. Embracing this truth is the first step towards shedding the mask of perfectionism and confronting hidden insecurities.