Let me tell you something; I’ve never been a girl’s girl.

Growing up, most of my friends were boys.

As a young child, this didn’t bother me. But navigating my teenage years without solid female friendships was extremely difficult.

Even now as an adult, I struggle to form close bonds with other women.

As part of my personal development journey, I’ve done some inner work to understand why this is.

If you also struggle to make female friends, these insights might help you understand yourself better, like they did for me.

So read on to learn eight common behaviors that women who lack female friends tend to exhibit, often without realizing it. 

1) Competitiveness

There’s nothing wrong with a little healthy competition, but in friendships, it can sometimes go overboard.

Women who struggle to maintain female friendships often display an intense level of competitiveness.

It’s not just about being the best at their job or hobbies, but also about one-upping their friends in all aspects of life.

This constant need to win can be off-putting for other women.

After all, friendships should be about support and camaraderie, not a constant race to outdo each other.

So, if you find yourself always trying to outshine your female friends, it might be time to take a step back and reassess whether this competitive streak is serving your relationships well. 

2) Lack of empathy

In my personal experience, empathy is a cornerstone in building any lasting relationship.

I remember once when my friend was going through a rough patch.

Without realizing, I would often dismiss her feelings or struggles, making it about myself or just not showing any interest.

This behavior eventually led to the dissolution of our friendship.

A lack of empathy can make others feel that their emotions and experiences are not valued or understood, which is incredibly isolating.

So, if you find yourself frequently unconcerned with how your friends are feeling or unable to empathize with them, it might be a sign that you need to develop your emotional intelligence and empathy skills to build stronger, more meaningful relationships.

3) Gossiping

While it’s human nature to discuss the lives of others, excessive gossip can be detrimental to relationships.

It can quickly breed mistrust and negativity within a group of friends.

In fact, research has shown that people who gossip frequently are often seen as less likable and trustworthy.

It creates an environment where friends feel they need to watch their backs, concerned about what might be said behind theirs.

If you notice that you often engage in gossip, it might be worthwhile to reassess this habit.

Try focusing on positive communication and building trust, rather than tearing others down through rumors and half-truths.

4) Inability to handle criticism

Nobody likes to be criticized. But how we react to criticism can significantly affect our relationships with others.

Women who often struggle with maintaining female friendships may have a hard time handling criticism, even when it’s constructive. They might:

• Become defensive
• Respond with anger
• Shut down completely

While it’s natural to feel discomfort when criticized, it’s crucial to remember that feedback often comes from a place of care and concern.

Handling criticism gracefully shows maturity and willingness to grow – traits that can strengthen your friendships.

If you find that you react negatively to even the slightest critique, take a moment to reflect.

Learning to handle criticism could be a game-changer for your relationships.

5) Always playing the victim

Life can be tough, and we all face challenges.

But there’s a difference between acknowledging your struggles and constantly playing the victim.

In my observations, women who often lack close female friends sometimes fall into the pattern of always portraying themselves as the victim.

This constant negativity can be emotionally draining for their friends, who may eventually start to distance themselves.

Being the perpetual victim can prevent you from taking responsibility for your actions and personal growth.

It’s important to remember that everyone has their struggles, and it’s how we handle them that truly defines us.

So if you find yourself always playing the victim, reflect on your attitude.

Shifting from a victim mentality to one of resilience and responsibility can have a profound impact on your relationships.

6) Not being dependable

When I was in college, I finally made a female friend. But I quickly realized she was rarely there when I needed her.

Plans were often cancelled at the last minute, and she would forget about commitments we had made.

Over time, this lack of dependability made me feel unimportant and undervalued in our friendship. This led to us drifting apart.

Being reliable is a fundamental aspect of friendship.

If your friends cannot count on you to be there for them, it can damage the trust and bond in your relationship.

If you often find yourself flaking out on commitments or not fulfilling promises, consider how this could be affecting your friendships. 

7) Excessive need for attention

We all need attention and validation to some extent.

But constantly seeking the spotlight can be off-putting for others in your circle.

Women who often lack close female friends may show an excessive need for attention. They might:

• Dominate conversations
• Always steer the topic back to themselves
• Frequently share dramatic stories to garner sympathy

While it’s normal to want your experiences and feelings acknowledged, it’s also essential to reciprocate and show interest in others’ lives.

If you find yourself constantly seeking attention, try stepping back and letting others shine.

A healthy friendship is a two-way street after all. 

8) Lack of self-awareness

Perhaps the most significant behavior common among women who struggle with maintaining female friendships is a lack of self-awareness.

They may not recognize how their actions and words impact those around them.

Self-awareness is key to personal growth and building strong relationships.

It allows you to understand your behaviors, emotions, and responses, and how they might affect others.

If you find that you’re often surprised by others’ reactions to your actions, or you’re frequently in conflict without understanding why, it may be a sign that you need to develop your self-awareness.

• Take time for introspection.
• Understand your strengths and weaknesses.
• Acknowledge your mistakes and learn from them.

Developing self-awareness can help improve not only your friendships but also your relationship with yourself.

Final thoughts: It’s a journey

Building friendships with other women hasn’t always come easy for me, but recognizing these patterns in myself was a real eye-opener.

Maybe you relate to these eight behaviors too.

The good news is that once you know what’s holding you back, you can start making changes.

It’s not about being perfect, but about growing and trying to do better.

If you’ve struggled with female friendships, don’t be too hard on yourself.

We’re all learning as we go, and it’s never too late to create stronger, more meaningful connections.