I think we’ve all had those days—where nothing seems to fit right, not just the clothes, but the skin we’re in.

Confidence, especially when it comes to how we look, can be a bit of a rollercoaster. Sometimes it feels like we’ve got it all together, and other times, even a quick glance in the mirror feels like a battle.

I’ve been there, more times than I’d like to admit, and I’m willing to bet I’m not alone.

The truth is, when we don’t feel good about our looks, it shows up in ways we don’t always notice—little behaviors, small actions, that speak louder than we think.

So, what do these signs look like? Let’s have a look at the subtle, often overlooked ways we show the world we’re not quite feeling ourselves.

1) Overly apologetic

We’ve all encountered those individuals who seem to apologize for everything, even when it’s not necessary.

According to psychologists, this kind of behavior can often be an indicator of a deeper issue, namely, low self-esteem or confidence.

Many women who lack confidence in their looks and body might tend to be overly apologetic because they feel the need to compensate for what they perceive as their shortcomings.

It’s almost as if they are saying sorry for not meeting the societal beauty standards or expectations in their own eyes.

This constant need for apology can be quite revealing and often is a reflection of how much they are struggling with their self-image.

Understanding this behavior can be the first step towards helping them build up their confidence and self-esteem. 

2) Avoiding mirrors

Speaking from personal experience, this is one behavior I used to exhibit when I struggled with my own body image.

I would actively avoid mirrors, not wanting to confront my reflection.

This was more than just not liking what I saw; it was a deep-seated discomfort that stemmed from a lack of confidence in my appearance.

Walking past shop windows, I’d purposely avoid my reflection, and even at home, I’d rush past mirrors without a second glance. The less I saw of myself, the less I had to confront the issues I had with my body and looks.

This kind of behavior is quite common among women who lack confidence in their looks and body.

It’s a way of escaping the perceived reality and avoiding the discomfort that comes with self-scrutiny.

3) Negative self-talk

When it comes to confidence and self-perception, the language we use can have a significant impact on how we feel about ourselves.

Women who lack confidence in their looks and body often fall into the trap of negative self-talk. This means they frequently criticize themselves and their appearances, focusing on what they perceive as flaws.

According to research, an average person has over 6,000 thoughts per day. So imagine how damaging it could be if a majority of those thoughts are filled with self-criticism and negativity.

4) Avoiding pictures

Have you ever noticed someone who consistently avoids being in photographs? This could be another sign of a lack of confidence in their looks and body.

These individuals often feel uncomfortable seeing themselves in photos, as it forces them to confront their appearance, which they may be insecure about. So, they choose to stay behind the camera instead of in front of it.

This avoidance behavior can extend to video calls and face-time chats, where the fear of judgment or criticism might make them anxious.

5) Excessive use of makeup and clothing to hide perceived flaws

While there’s nothing wrong with enjoying makeup or fashion, it becomes a concern if it’s used excessively to cover up perceived flaws.

Some women who lack confidence in their looks and body might heavily rely on makeup to conceal what they consider as imperfections.

Or they might choose to wear oversized or loose clothing as a way to hide their body shape.

This kind of behavior often stems from the fear of judgment and the desire to fit into societal standards of beauty.

However, real beauty comes from within and confidence shines brighter than any makeup.

6) Comparing themselves to others

In a world filled with glossy magazines, picture-perfect Instagram feeds, and heavily edited photos, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparison.

Many women who lack confidence in their looks and body often compare themselves to others. They look at other women and wish they had their bodies, their hair, their skin.

This constant comparison can be truly heart-wrenching. It can lead to a vicious cycle of self-doubt and low self-esteem.

But here’s the thing: every one of us is unique. We have our own stories, our own journeys, and our own beauty. And it’s crucial to remind ourselves of that truth.

Because the real beauty lies not in being like everyone else but in celebrating our uniqueness. And that starts with stopping the comparisons and starting to appreciate ourselves for who we are.

7) Shying away from physical contact

There was a time when I used to shy away from hugs or any form of physical contact. It wasn’t because I didn’t like the people around me, but because I was uncomfortable with my body.

This is a common behavior among women who lack confidence in their looks and body.

They tend to shy away from physical contact because it makes them feel vulnerable and exposed, thinking others might notice their perceived flaws.

But physical contact is a fundamental part of human interaction and connection. By breaking down these barriers, we can start to feel more comfortable in our own skin and build up our confidence.

8) Body language

Our body language can often tell more about us than our words. In the case of women who lack confidence in their looks and body, their body language is usually more closed off.

They might cross their arms or legs, avoid eye contact, or consistently look down. These are all signs of trying to make themselves appear smaller or less noticeable.

This defensive body language is often a reflection of how they feel about themselves. 

9) Diminishing their achievements

One of the most significant behaviors of women who lack confidence in their looks and body is the tendency to diminish their own achievements.

Whether it’s a promotion at work, a personal goal reached, or even a small win, they’ll often downplay it and focus instead on their perceived physical shortcomings.

But let’s be clear: our worth is not defined by our looks or our bodies.

Our accomplishments are proof of our abilities, strength, and determination. And those are things we should celebrate, not diminish.

Final thoughts

Here’s something I’ve learned over the years: the mirror doesn’t always tell the whole story.

It can reflect back our insecurities, sure, but it also reflects strength, resilience, and the unique beauty we carry, even if we don’t see it right away.

The behaviors we talked about aren’t flaws—they’re signals, signs of a deeper struggle we’re all allowed to have.

But here’s the thing: confidence doesn’t magically appear when you reach “perfection” (whatever that means for you). It comes from owning who we are, flaws and all.

I’ve found that when we stop hiding, comparing, or apologizing for our bodies, we start to embrace a kind of beauty that makeup can’t give, and mirrors can’t take away.

So, whether you’re working on your self-confidence or helping someone else along their journey, know this—confidence is built from the inside out, and it’s always within reach.