As a relationship expert, I’ve often noticed that women who have never truly been in love exhibit certain behaviors without even realizing it.  

Now, this doesn’t mean they’re clueless or naive. Not at all.

Simply put, these are subtle cues, habits if you will, that sneak up into their actions and reactions. They’re not always negative behaviors, mind you. They can often be charming quirks that hint at the absence of that all-encompassing love experience in their lives.

In this article, I’m going to share with you seven such behaviors that might suggest a woman has not yet experienced true love.  

1) The chase for perfection

In my years of observing and counseling, I’ve noticed this intriguing pattern. Often, women who haven’t experienced true love have a heightened sense of perfection they’re chasing after in relationships.

It’s like they’re looking for that ideal partner who checks all their boxes. They hold an image of a perfect relationship, one that’s been shaped by fairy tales, romantic movies, or even their own imagination.

Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s okay to have standards. It’s okay to know what you want. But true love doesn’t always fit into these perfect molds we create in our minds.

True love is beautifully flawed and human. It comes with its set of challenges and it definitely doesn’t resemble a fairy tale all the time.

2) The fear of being alone

Here’s a paradox for you. Women who haven’t experienced true love often display a near-constant fear of being alone.

You’d think that the search for love would mean embracing companionship at every turn, right? Well, not exactly.

Instead, these women can be so scared of solitude that they end up pushing potential partners away. They might come off as too eager to settle or too anxious to forge deep connections immediately.

This fear can create a barrier that repels genuine love. Because true love isn’t about filling a void or avoiding loneliness; it’s about sharing your life with someone who enriches it.

3) Overdependence on the partner

This is something I’ve observed and even written about in my book – an unnecessary level of dependence on the partner.

In a relationship, it’s normal to depend on each other, but there’s a fine line between healthy dependence and codependency. It’s a topic I’ve explored quite in-depth in Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

Women who haven’t experienced true love often display signs of codependent behavior. They might rely heavily on their partner for emotional fulfillment, or they might lose their sense of self in the relationship.

True love, though, is about two independent individuals coming together. It’s about maintaining your individuality even while being part of a couple.

4) The constant need for validation

Another behavior I’ve encountered is the constant need for validation. It’s as if these women are unsure of their worth unless someone else affirms it.

As someone who’s interacted with countless individuals in this boat, I can tell you that seeking external validation is like trying to fill a bottomless pit. It never truly satisfies you.

I came across a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, which goes, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” It struck a chord with me.

True love shouldn’t make you feel like you constantly need validation from your partner. On the contrary, it should make you feel valued for who you are, your flaws and all.

5) The illusion of control

Here’s a behavior that might surprise you.

Some women who haven’t experienced true love often feel the need to control every aspect of their relationship.

I’ve seen this play out many times. It’s like they believe if they can control everything, they can guarantee the outcome they want. But love doesn’t operate on guarantees or control.

In my own journey, I’ve learned that the beauty of true love lies in its unpredictability, and its willingness to flow freely and naturally.

Trying to control a relationship can stifle it. True love, on the other hand, thrives in freedom and respect for each other’s individuality.

6) The inability to express vulnerability

In my interactions, I’ve noticed that these women often build a wall around their emotions, fearing that showing vulnerability might make them appear weak.

As Leonard Cohen once said, “There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” Vulnerability isn’t weakness, it’s human. It’s that crack that lets the light of true love seep in.

In my own life, I’ve found that expressing vulnerability can actually strengthen a relationship. It allows your partner to see the real you, fostering a deeper connection.

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7) The refusal to let go of the past hurts

Lastly, and perhaps the most poignant of all, is the refusal to let go of past hurts. Women who haven’t experienced true love often harbor past wounds, holding on to them like a safety blanket.

These past hurts can cast long shadows over their present relationships, preventing them from fully embracing the possibility of new love. It’s as if they’re in a constant battle with ghosts from their past.

But here’s the raw truth: True love can’t flourish in the confines of past pain. It needs space to breathe, to grow, to bloom.

Letting go isn’t easy, I know. But it’s necessary. It’s like cleaning out the old to make room for the new.

Dive into the deep end of true connection 

Each of us is a complex tapestry of experiences, emotions, and choices. Identifying these behaviors is not about labeling or criticizing. Instead, it’s about fostering self-awareness and encouraging positive change.

I’ve seen countless women transform their lives and relationships once they start recognizing these patterns and taking steps to break free from them. It’s a journey of self-discovery that can lead to the experience of true love.

And speaking of journeys, I’d like to share a video that beautifully explores the complexities of finding a life partner, reflecting on personal experiences and lessons learned. It offers valuable insights that align with what we’ve discussed here, further deepening our understanding:

Remember, growth is a process, and every step you take brings you closer to experiencing true love. Keep learning, keep growing, and keep loving.