It’s a common misconception that low self-esteem is always glaringly obvious. But that’s not always the case, especially among women.

Sometimes, a woman who struggles with low self-esteem can hide it so well, it’s almost impossible to see the signs. But, if you know what to look for, there are subtle behaviors that can tip you off.

In this article, we’ll be exploring nine of these behaviors that women who have low self-esteem but cover it up well usually display. So, read on and let’s delve into the hidden complexities of self-esteem.

1) Over-apologizing

Excessive apologizing can be a sneaky indicator of low self-esteem.

It’s often so subtle that even the person doing it might not catch on. But those constant “sorrys” can speak volumes.

Sure, a sincere apology when warranted is fine. But when someone’s constantly saying sorry for existing or taking blame that isn’t theirs, it’s a red flag.

This over-apologizing usually stems from a fear of rocking the boat or a deep-seated belief that they’re always in the wrong. It’s like they’re pre-emptively shouldering blame to avoid conflict.

2) They avoid eye contact

This one’s personal. I have a friend who’s incredibly talented, but struggles with low self-esteem. One of the key signs? She hardly ever makes direct eye contact.

Eye contact can be a powerful form of communication. It signals confidence, self-assuredness, and engagement. But for someone battling with low self-esteem, it can feel really challenging.

My friend often looks away when talking, especially when the conversation turns personal or emotional. It’s as if she’s afraid to let people in, to let them see her vulnerabilities.

Remember, avoiding eye contact isn’t always a sign of low self-esteem. Some people may just be shy or introverted. But when combined with other signs, it can be a subtle hint at an underlying issue of low self-worth.

3) They’re constantly self-deprecating

Self-deprecation can be a form of humor, and many people use it to lighten the mood or break the ice. But when it’s a constant pattern, it might be a sign of low self-esteem.

Women who struggle with their self-worth often put themselves down. They might make jokes about their appearance, intelligence, or abilities. It’s like they’re trying to beat others to the punch and criticize themselves before anyone else can.

Interestingly, research has shown that people who often engage in self-deprecating humor tend to have higher levels of psychological distress. This form of humor can be a way of masking deeper insecurities and feelings of inadequacy.

4) They have a hard time accepting compliments

Accepting compliments can be a real struggle for those grappling with low self-esteem.

Instead of basking in the praise, they might deflect or downplay it. You’ll hear things like, “Oh, this old thing?” when complimented on their outfit, or “I just got lucky” for a job well done.

But here’s the kicker: it’s not about modesty—it’s about feeling unworthy. They’ve convinced themselves they don’t deserve praise, so any compliment feels like nails on a chalkboard.

5) They often compare themselves to others

For a woman wrestling with low confidence, it’s all too common to hear her make remarks about how other women seem more attractive, more accomplished, or just plain “better” than herself.

But here’s the kicker: this endless cycle of comparison only fuels the flames of self-doubt, chipping away at her confidence bit by bit.

But let’s set the record straight: Every individual is on their own unique journey. Comparing oneself to others is an unjust yardstick for measuring one’s inherent value.

6) They constantly seek validation

Seeking validation from others is a telltale sign of low self-esteem.

Whether it’s fishing for compliments about their appearance or constantly asking if they did something right, these folks are hungry for approval.

Sure, we all crave reassurance now and then. But when it’s a never-ending quest for validation, it’s likely masking deeper insecurities.

7) They overcompensate by being overly helpful

Being helpful is great, but it can also be a smokescreen for low self-esteem.

I’ve been there myself. Whenever I felt inadequate, I’d bend over backward to help others—extra tasks at work, assisting friends with stuff they could handle solo, you name it.

I thought being super helpful would earn me brownie points. But guess what? It took some soul-searching to realize my worth isn’t tied to how much I do for others; it’s about being authentically me.

So, if you spot someone constantly overextending themselves to help, it might be their way of masking deeper insecurities.

8) They tend to be perfectionists

Perfectionism and low self-esteem often go hand in hand. The relentless pursuit of flawlessness stems from a deep-seated fear of judgment and a nagging belief that one’s not up to snuff.

For someone with low self-esteem, every task becomes a quest for perfection. They’ll agonize over tiny details, redo work until it’s pristine, and beat themselves up over every slip-up.

But truth is: chasing perfection is a dead-end street. It’s like running after a mirage—no matter how hard you try, you never quite catch it. And all that effort? Exhausting and ultimately unfulfilling.

9) They struggle with decision making

Low self-esteem can put a serious dent in decision-making mojo. Women grappling with this might hem and haw over choices, terrified of making a misstep.

Even the small stuff—like picking a restaurant or a movie—can feel like a high-stakes gamble. They’ll defer to others, fearing their own judgment might miss the mark.

But here’s the truth: Everyone’s got the right to call their shots and trust their gut. It’s not just about making decisions; it’s about owning them. And that’s a major key to building self-esteem and feeling like a boss.

Break the silence, bridge the divide 

Keep this in mind: Recognizing these behaviors isn’t about casting judgment or slapping labels on someone. It’s about peeling back the layers to grasp the silent battles they may be waging.

It’s about reaching out with a hand of solace, affirming that they’re not invisible, they’re not dismissed, and above all, they’re more than worthy just as they are.

So, the next time you spot these subtle cues in someone, seize it as a moment for empathy and insight. It’s a shot at making a meaningful impact by offering a listening ear or a compassionate gesture.