“I don’t know why, but lately, my friends seem more distant.”

This thought has likely crossed the minds of many women who feel that something is off in their social circles but aren’t sure why.

Often, certain unnoticed behaviors can slowly alienate those around them. No one sets out to lose friends, but subtle habits can sometimes have unintended consequences.

For women who value their friendships, identifying and adjusting these nine common behaviors can be the key to sustaining those bonds and keeping their social lives healthy and fulfilling.

1) You’re often the ‘advice-giver’

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you’re constantly doling out advice to your friends, even when they haven’t asked for it?

Sure, it might seem like you’re just trying to help.

But here’s the thing — constantly being in ‘advice-giver’ mode can create an imbalance in your friendships.

You see, friendships thrive on mutual respect and understanding. And when one person is always playing the role of the counselor, it can make the other person feel belittled or unheard.

Ironically, your well-intentioned advice might be pushing your friends away.

They may start seeing you as someone who doesn’t listen or empathize, but rather as someone who always jumps to conclusions or solutions.

2) You lean heavily on ‘projection’

Now, let’s talk about a psychological concept called ‘projection’.

In simple terms, projection is when you attribute your own feelings or traits to someone else. It’s like looking at the world through a lens tinted by your own emotions and experiences.

And guess what? This can seriously impact your friendships.

If you’re often projecting your insecurities or fears onto your friends, it can create misunderstandings and tension.

For instance, if you’re feeling insecure about your job, you might start assuming that your friends are judging you for it, even when they’re not.

The problem with projection is that it distorts reality. It’s like wearing a pair of glasses with the wrong prescription — everything appears blurry and confusing.

3) You find it hard to accept criticism

Now, let’s flip the coin on projection.

While you might be quick to project your feelings onto others, how do you react when someone else points out a flaw or mistake? Do you accept it gracefully or does it leave you feeling attacked or defensive?

Here’s the counter-intuitive part: Being open to criticism is actually a sign of strength and self-confidence.

But if you find it hard to accept criticism, even when it’s constructive, it can create a barrier in your friendships.

Friends might hesitate to share their honest thoughts with you, for fear of hurting your feelings or sparking an argument.

Over time, this can lead to a communication breakdown, which might be one of the reasons why friends are drifting away.

4) You rarely show vulnerability

Do you find it difficult to show your vulnerable side to friends?

Opening up about our fears, insecurities, and flaws can be challenging.

After all, no one likes to feel exposed or weak. But here’s an important truth: vulnerability is key to deep, meaningful friendships.

When you share your vulnerabilities with friends, it sends a clear message: you trust them and value their support. It also gives them the freedom to share their own struggles and fears.

But if you’re always putting up a facade of perfection or strength, it can make your friends feel distant. They might perceive you as unapproachable or even insincere.

Ultimately, lack of vulnerability can create an emotional distance in friendships, which might be contributing to your friends feeling alienated.

5) You’re constantly competing

In every friendship, there’s a certain level of healthy competition.

But when that competition starts to overshadow the bond, it can be a problem.

Here are some signs that you might be unknowingly competing with your friends:

• Always trying to one-up their achievements
• Feeling threatened or insecure about their success
• Struggling to genuinely celebrate their wins
• Comparing your life to theirs, often unfavorably

If these behaviors resonate with you, it could mean that competition is driving a wedge between you and your friends.

Competition can turn friendships into rivalries, and that’s something most people would want to avoid.

6) You’re not showing enough appreciation

We all love to feel appreciated, don’t we? It’s a fundamental human need.

I’ve found that one of the simplest, yet most effective ways to strengthen a friendship is by showing genuine appreciation.

But here’s the catch: if you’re not expressing gratitude or appreciation towards your friends, they might start feeling undervalued or taken for granted.

Let’s face it, we all have busy lives—and, in the hustle and bustle, it’s easy to forget to say a simple ‘thank you’ or acknowledge the efforts our friends put into maintaining the relationship.

I’ve learned that showing appreciation is not just about being polite; it’s about reinforcing the bond of friendship.

And who knows? This small change could make a big difference in how your friends perceive you.

7) You’re often absent in times of need

Imagine this: Your friend is going through a tough time.

They’ve reached out to you for support, but you’re too caught up in your own world to lend a helping hand.

How do you think your friend would feel?

Friendships aren’t just about sharing laughs and good times—they’re about being there for each other during the ups and downs of life.

When your friends are facing challenges, that’s when they need you the most.

But if you’re often absent or unavailable during these times, it can leave your friends feeling unsupported and alone.

Over time, this can lead to them withdrawing from the friendship.

Ask yourself this: Have there been instances where your friends needed you, but you weren’t there for them?

If the answer is yes, then this could be a reason why you’re unintentionally alienating your friends!

8) You’re not expressing your needs

Now, here’s something I’ve learned the hard way: Expressing your needs is crucial in any relationship, including friendships.

A few years ago, I was feeling overwhelmed and needed some space. Instead of communicating this to my friends, I started withdrawing from them.

Unsurprisingly, they felt confused and hurt, which led to unnecessary misunderstandings.

What I’ve realized is that not expressing your needs can lead to misinterpretations. Your friends might perceive your actions differently, leading to feelings of alienation.

9) You’re not growing together

Finally, the most important thing to understand about friendships: Friendships are not static but, rather, they’re dynamic—evolving with us as we grow and change.

If you’re not growing together with your friends, it can create a distance.

It’s like being on two different paths, moving further apart with each step.

This doesn’t mean you and your friends need to have identical life paths.

It simply means that there needs to be a mutual understanding and acceptance of each other’s growth and changes.

Where do we go from here?

Here are a few ways to foster healthier friendships:

• Practice active listening: Truly hear and understand what your friends are saying instead of just waiting to speak.
• Be patient: Everyone grows at their own pace; embrace these differences and support your friends.
• Don’t underestimate an apology: A sincere apology can mend rifts and strengthen bonds.

Remember, change takes time—focus on progress, not perfection.

Take small steps, celebrate your wins, and keep learning.

Friendships are a beautiful part of life, worth nurturing—and isn’t that what life is all about? Growing together, one day at a time!