There’s a stark difference between being truly kind-hearted and struggling with self-worth.

Women who are genuinely altruistic often go above and beyond for others, yet they might not be aware of their own worth. This can result in an internal tug-of-war.

These women, with hearts as pure as gold, often overlook their own needs. Their lack of self-esteem manifests in certain behaviors they don’t even recognize.

In this article, we will delve into 9 such behaviors that these women often exhibit, all the while oblivious to their true nature. These signs will help us understand them better and offer support when needed.

1) Overly apologetic

Women with hearts of gold but lacking self-esteem often have a tendency to apologize excessively.

This behavior is more than just a polite gesture. It’s a reflection of their internal struggle with self-worth. They may feel they are always in the wrong or are at fault even when they aren’t.

This constant need to say sorry, even for trivial matters, is an unconscious effort to avoid conflict and appease others. It’s like a safety blanket protecting them from potential criticism or rejection.

But what they may not realize is that this excessive apologizing can undermine their credibility and diminish their assertiveness.

When we understand this behavior, we can help these women to realize their worth and encourage them to express themselves without fear of judgement or criticism.

2) Self-depreciating humor

In my own life, I’ve noticed that my friends who are incredibly kind but struggle with self-esteem often resort to self-depreciating humor.

There’s this one friend of mine, let’s call her Jane. Jane is one of the most caring and generous people I know. But she has a habit of making herself the butt of all jokes.

At parties or gatherings, she’d always joke about her own shortcomings or mistakes. Everyone would laugh along, thinking she was just being funny. But I started to realize that this was her way of dealing with her lack of self-esteem.

She was laughing at herself before anyone else could, a defense mechanism to protect herself from others’ potential negative judgments.

Understanding this behavior made me realize that Jane needs affirmation and reassurance, not laughter at her expense. It’s a delicate situation, but by recognizing it, we can start to help women like Jane feel more confident about themselves.

3) Difficulty accepting compliments

Women who are golden-hearted but lack confidence often struggle to accept compliments. They may brush them off, change the subject, or even respond with a negative about themselves.

This behavior is linked to something called ‘impostor syndrome’. According to research, approximately 70% of people experience impostor feelings at some point in their lives.

Impostor syndrome is a psychological phenomenon where individuals doubt their accomplishments and have an internalized fear of being exposed as a ‘fraud’.

A woman with a heart of gold might feel unworthy of praise and compliments. When we understand this, we can provide reassurance and help boost their self-esteem, encouraging them to see themselves in a more positive light.

4) Constant need for reassurance

Women with a heart of gold but low self-esteem often seek constant reassurance from others. They may continuously ask if they’re doing a good job or if they’re making the right decisions.

This behavior stems from their internal doubt and fear of failure. They crave validation from others to compensate for the validation they lack within themselves.

These women may not realize that they’re seeking approval so frequently. 

5) Oversharing personal issues

Golden-hearted women with low self-esteem may tend to overshare personal issues or struggles. They might feel the need to justify their actions or decisions by providing more information than necessary.

This behavior can be an attempt to connect with others on a deeper level, driven by the fear of being misunderstood or judged. They might feel that by sharing their challenges, they’ll gain sympathy and acceptance.

Yet, they might not realize how this oversharing could make others uncomfortable.

6) Sacrificing their own needs

One of the most significant hallmarks of women with a heart of gold but low self-esteem is their tendency to sacrifice their own needs for the sake of others.

These women often put themselves last, prioritizing the needs and wants of those around them. They might skip meals, lose sleep, or neglect their own hobbies to ensure others are taken care of.

This selfless behavior is truly admirable, but it can also be a sign of their struggle with self-worth. They might feel their needs are less important or that they don’t deserve the same care and attention they give to others.

It’s crucial for us to remind these golden-hearted women that their needs matter too. Let’s help them realize that taking care of themselves is not selfish; it’s necessary and well-deserved.

7) Avoiding the spotlight

I’ve noticed that women who are kind and generous but struggle with self-esteem tend to avoid the spotlight. They prefer to work behind the scenes and let others take the credit.

This reminds me of a time when I was part of a community event. A friend of mine, who had tirelessly worked day and night to organize it, insisted on remaining anonymous. She didn’t want her name mentioned anywhere, despite having done most of the work.

This behavior might seem humble, but it can also be a sign of low self-esteem. These women might feel undeserving of recognition or uncomfortable being in the limelight.

8) Difficulty asserting themselves

Golden-hearted women who struggle with self-esteem often find it challenging to assert themselves. They may struggle to express their thoughts, feelings, or needs openly and directly.

This difficulty may stem from a fear of rejection or conflict. They might worry that asserting themselves will lead to disagreement or create tension in their relationships.

However, they might not realize that assertiveness is a key part of healthy communication and self-respect.

9) Setting unrealistic standards

Women with a heart of gold but low self-esteem often set unrealistic standards for themselves. They strive for perfection in everything they do and beat themselves up when they fall short.

This behavior stems from their struggle with self-worth. They might feel that they need to be perfect to be worthy of love and respect.

But the truth is, nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes. It’s part of being human. And it’s high time these golden-hearted women realize this and cut themselves some slack.