It’s a popular saying: “With age comes wisdom”.

But have you ever noticed that some women seem to become more unapproachable as they get older?

Trust me, it’s not just you who has observed that.

In fact, it’s a common phenomenon and the reason behind this might surprise you – these women might not even be aware of their changing demeanor.

So, before you start thinking “Am I becoming that unapproachable woman?”, let’s delve into the seven less-than-pleasant behaviors often displayed by women who appear increasingly unpleasant with age – without even realizing it.

1) Embracing negativity

Ever noticed how some people always seem to see the glass as half-empty?

You’re not alone.

This is an attitude that can creep up on us as we age. Suddenly, every little thing seems to be a potential disaster, every change a threat, and every challenge an insurmountable obstacle.

The thing is, this constant negativity can put a damper on our relationships. It’s hard to be around someone who’s always expecting the worst, right?

And here’s the kicker – most women don’t even realize they’re doing it.

2) Becoming overly critical

We all know that person who, no matter what, always has something to critique.

I remember my Aunt Margie.

As she got older, she developed a knack for spotting faults in everything – from the way her neighbor maintained their garden to the color of the curtains in her granddaughter’s room.

Though she may have thought she was being helpful or insightful, her constant criticism often made family gatherings tense and awkward.

The funny thing is, Aunt Margie had no idea that her remarks were coming off as harsh and unpleasant. She simply thought she was sharing her wisdom.

So, if you find yourself frequently critiquing others without any positive feedback, it might be time for some self-reflection.

Is your ‘wisdom’ actually constructive, or could it be perceived as unnecessary criticism?

3) Losing empathy

Have you ever met someone who just can’t seem to put themselves in another person’s shoes? It’s like a brick wall, right?

I had a colleague once, a woman who was respected for her years of experience and knowledge.

But as she aged, she seemed to lose her ability to empathize with others. Younger colleagues’ ideas were dismissed without consideration, their struggles minimized and their emotions invalidated.

She was locked in her own perspective, unable or unwilling to see things from any other point of view.

This lack of empathy was devastating to team morale. It made people wary of seeking her advice or sharing their thoughts. The sad part? She had no clue about the impact of her behavior.

Empathy is not just about understanding someone else’s feelings. It’s about respecting them too.

If you’re becoming more rigid in your viewpoints, remember – flexibility and understanding can go a long way in maintaining pleasant relationships.

4) Resisting change

Change is the only constant in life, right?

Yet, as we age, some of us find it more difficult to adapt to new circumstances or changes in our environment. We cling to the familiar, the comfortable, and the predictable.

I had a friend who was like this. She refused to upgrade her old flip phone, even when it was falling apart.

She wouldn’t try new restaurants or travel to new places. It wasn’t that she couldn’t adapt, it was that she didn’t want to.

This resistance to change can make one seem stubborn and unapproachable. And the worst part? Most people don’t even realize they’re doing it.

5) Failing to listen

As we age, some of us develop a tendency to talk more and listen less.

We become so eager to share our views, experiences, and opinions that we often forget to pause and actually listen to what others have to say.

Think about it.

There’s probably someone in your life who always seems to dominate the conversation, right? They’re the ones who interrupt others, talk over people, and barely pause for breath.

While they might think they’re being engaging or informative, this behavior can actually come off as rude or self-centered.

6) Neglecting self-care

Life can get hectic, can’t it? Between work, family, and social commitments, it’s easy to forget to take care of ourselves.

I’ve seen this happen with numerous women in my life.

They spent so much time taking care of others that they completely ignored their own needs and well-being. They didn’t realize that this neglect was slowly transforming them into grumpy and irritable versions of their former selves.

Here’s the thing: self-care isn’t selfish. It’s necessary.

When we take the time to nourish our bodies and minds, we’re not just helping ourselves but also those around us. After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

7) Closing off emotionally

As we age, it can be tempting to build walls around our hearts. We’ve all been through hardships and heartbreaks, and it’s natural to want to protect ourselves from future pain.

But here’s the catch.

When we close ourselves off emotionally, we not only prevent potential hurt but also genuine connections.

We might think we’re protecting ourselves, but in reality, we’re just isolating ourselves from others.

Making a change 

Here are practical tips to help you avoid becoming unapproachable as you age, based on the common behaviors we’ve explored:

1. Cultivate Positivity: Practice gratitude by keeping a daily journal where you write down things you’re thankful for. This can help shift your focus from negativity to positivity and make you more pleasant to be around.
2. Practice Constructive Criticism: Before you speak, ask yourself if your feedback is necessary, kind, and helpful. Aim to balance your critiques with positive comments, and make sure to praise others as often as you critique.
3. Enhance Empathy: Try to engage in regular conversations with people from different age groups and backgrounds. Listen actively and try to understand their perspectives without judgment. This can help you maintain an open mind and respectful demeanor.
4. Embrace Change: Challenge yourself to try something new each month, whether it’s a technology tool, a hobby, or a type of cuisine. This can help keep your mind flexible and show others that you are adaptable and approachable.
5. Improve Listening Skills: During conversations, focus on listening more than you speak. Use active listening techniques like nodding, repeating back what you’ve heard, and asking follow-up questions to show you are engaged and value others’ contributions.
6. Prioritize Self-Care: Set aside time each week for activities that rejuvenate you, such as reading, walking, or practicing yoga. Recognize that taking care of your physical and emotional health is crucial and enables you to be a better friend, family member, and colleague.
7. Stay Open Emotionally: Allow yourself to be vulnerable with trusted friends or family members. Share your thoughts and feelings, and invite others to share theirs with you. This can strengthen your connections and prevent emotional isolation.

By integrating these practices into your daily life, you can counteract tendencies that might make you seem unapproachable as you age.

This not only enhances your personal happiness but also enriches your relationships with others.